The Sexually Pregnant Mind

I see the curves of my breast and they please. I see the round of my rump and it entices. I see the button of my belly & giggle at its cuteness.I rub the bulging bump that sustains my daughter it is tight but lovely.My legs are thick pillars supporting the whole of us, two beating hearts.My areolas expand into flying saucers while my nipples take on an unyielding demeanor pushing past 3 sturdy layers to embarrass me fully. My breasts have plumped to the next cup overflowing with milk & honey.My face has smoothed itself into a summery glow while my feet have spread into an ogre-like aura.My hair curls tighter while my sense of smell betrays.I lose a few meals now and then but this does not betray my overall impressionI am a voluptuous, baby-making goddess.My mind is on sex to desire and be desired... Join me for the rest on the Mudroom blog? (Where we are exploring sex & sexuality for the month of March). … [Read more...]

When God Speaks the Unexpected

Day 2 of "When God Speaks {or doesn't} kicks off with a heartbreakingly beautiful story from another beloved friend, Dabney with whom I had the pleasure of working with while I was at InterVarsity.  Trigger warning for those who have lost children.~Last week I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl during my 21st week of pregnancy.  Katherine Goodwyn Robinson was born on January 2nd, 2013 weighing 11 ounces and was 9 inches long.  Kate died during labor as we expected and the words on my heart were those of Psalm 23.  Not because it is the Psalm most people associate with times of tragedy, but because it is the Psalm God gave me to hold onto when there was nothing left in the world to hold onto.In September, I drove to a retreat center north of Pittsburgh, one of my favorite places to spend time with God.  It has been a meaningful place now for several years and been one of the spots that I know I can expect to meet Jesus.  This time, I had asked my friend and spiritual direc … [Read more...]

$15 Traveling Mercies

Every year, across the world 287,000 women die in pregnancy and childbirth. If that seems fairly high to you, it is. That’s one death every 2 minutes, 800 times a day across our globe.  These unborn souls need traveling mercies if anyone has ever needed it.Alemi, on the right is 25.  She lost her first two babies in the final trimester of her pregnancies. ::::Deep, sad sigh::::  She came to the Maternity Worldwide Health Clinic at 29 weeks with dangerously high blood pressure.  After a week, Alemi's liver began to fail among other issues.  Alemi's baby girl was delivered c-section.  Even though she weighed just 3 pounds the little munchkin was healthy enough to breastfeed at 10 days old and eventually went home with her proud parents.Without Maternity Worldwide volunteers she wouldn't have been able to afford ultrasounds, medical treatment nor transportation to a hospital and would have likely lost her 3rd (3rd trimester) pregnancy. As a Mama with one miscarriage and two healthy … [Read more...]

Was that crap on a stick or 2010? (Reflections: Part 5)

Yes, I was planning to stay focused on facilitating reflections of 2010.  Forgive me for bumbling along on other fascinating subjects such as feeling sorry for myself and crying about it like a big baby.  Fear not my friends! We are well on our way to -finally- finishing reflecting and creating some goals for 2011.What's left of it, at least.  (Can you even believe we are almost 1/12 of the way done with 2011)?Here's the rules.  I answer here.  You answer in the comments.  OR, you take the questions and write out your answers in your journal / moleskin / notebook / legal pad, etc.  ----You get the picture!  I truly believe, "an unexamined life is not worth living." -way to go, Socrates! … [Read more...]

Oh Billy, you sweet talker

The battle against the post baby belly rages on.  Who is winning, you ask?  ME!Well, this week at least.My little Reeserton is now 3.5 months old.  At 14 weeks post-partum I am well into the time-frame to think about seriously taking off the flubber.Youv'e heard it all before from other new mom's I'm sure:1.  I want to be able to fit into all my pre-preggo jeans not just that one pair that was all ready a little big and that other pair that I can suck and squeeze my way into after 10 minutes of cajoling my fat.2.  Who doesn't want to be physically & mentally healthy, live longer & have energy from working out?  Despite my recent lack of good consistent sweat sessions, would you believe me if I told you I really do want to work out regularly?3.  I have to be honest, Dave & I are hoping to take a fun-in-the-sun vacay to celebrate our upcoming 10 year wedding anniversary.  Taking a nice pic on the beach and feeling great about the work I put into my bod … [Read more...]

fearless…not really.

I'll cut to the chase on this blog because frankly, I'm exhausted.  Besides pregnancy insomnia which kept me up from 2-5am last night, I've had a heck of an emotional day.Unfortunately, I can't share with you blogging friends the details, only that someone I love is facing something really difficult and I feel terribly helpless, as do they.Sitting in church today I was reflecting on being "fearless."  I've been known as more of a risk-taker than the cautious type which often gets unfairly subscribed to my sweet hubby.There is another situation in my life -also too personal for this setting, sorry- where I am feeling particularly fearless.  This decision I'd like to make independently and without counsel without regard of consequence.  However, the people it affects prevents me from doing so.  Which leaves me feeling trapped and well, helpless.The point is, in the first situation I feel very fearful which leads to helplessness and in the 2nd situation I feel fearless whic … [Read more...]

This is what put me in the hospital last night…

My messy living room.  Or in the 4 words my friend Michelle likes to say to me often, "you doin' too much!"Last night at about 2:20am I woke up with contractions, getting fast & more intense as the hour went on.  At first I took some Tums.  In pregnancy, it seems Tums cures everything! :)  At about 3:30am I told my husband it was time to go the E.R.  I'm only 28 weeks -7 months-ish- and labor is not a good thing.Long story short, they gave me tributelene (or something like that) to slow and stop the contractions, put me on an IV drip for dehydration & told me to quit whatever it is that I've been doing too much of.  The whole time the baby's heart rate was great & there was no worry the baby was under duress.  We left about 4 hours later with the instructions of a day's bed rest & lots of water.So, what is it that I've been doing too much of?Well, if youv'e been following my last month you know I went into heavy nestin … [Read more...]

Winding Down…

Today is July 16.  Yikes!  Meaning I've got exactly 16 days left until my Sabbatical is over on Aug.1 .  I was given the glorious gift of a 12-month paid time of rest & refreshment from my normal day-to-day work.  I chose to use 8 months of that time going to school full-time.  And now, very scarily I have little less than 2 weeks to soak it up.  Tell me, what would you do with two weeks to basically spend any way you want?The great news is that I'm about 50% eager to get back to work --I'm super excited about my new position and all the possibilities.  I'm also about 50% sad because I've really enjoyed these last 2.5 months of spending so much extra time with my hubby, my home & my baby boy.  I can see what stay-at-home-moms like about that gig.  I have a lot of respect for ya'll!In any case, it seems perfectly healthy to me to feel both a mixture of excitement & sadness.  Wouldn't it be awful if I was dreading going back to work?Before my sabbatical I was defin … [Read more...]

Ran and Viv K-I-S-S-I-N-G

So, Ransom -3.5 yrs. old mind you- apparently shared his 1st ever open mouth kiss with a hot little tamale named Viv, pictured together below.  Viv's parents are good friends of ours.  Ran & Viv have been thick as thieves since they were born --only two weeks apart.Anyway, Dave & I didn't witness it, so the story goes like this.  Ran & Viv were dancing it up at the reception while Dave & I were mingling with some other wedding guests.  At some point while Ran & Viv were dancing one suggested to the other that they kiss (we think it was Viv) and then Viv's older sister (6 yrs. old) proceeded to hold their heads together.I guess a few people thought it was cute to watch a couple of three year olds, "making out," so a few people watched & giggled.  At which point Viv's daddy stepped in.  He told us he went over to them & said firmly something along the lines of, only married people have long open-mouthed kisses.  Since you two are not married you should … [Read more...]

Home and Toast

We are home from several days in Madison.  I managed to do a few responsible things but as of yet, we need to unpack, open mail & grocery shop.  Ransom seems genuinely sad when he can't have his addiction milk.  He's been so incredibly wonderful to have around since coming out of his whiny three's a bit.  I feel like I'm bursting with how much I appreciate and love him lately.The day we got home I ended up spending 11 hours prepping for a sermon I was set to give the next morning at a Church in Grand Haven.  Was it a bone-headed agreement to take a speaking engagement after a busy work week in Madison?  Sure.  But maybe the biggest boneheaded thing of all, was not just giving a sermon I've all ready done.  Nope, for some reason I really wanted to do Psalms 132: 1-10.  I'd just done a Bible study on it, in Beth Moore's Stepping Up Guide & I was all inspired & junk.When I got there it turned out to be an all white, older congregation of about 60ish who made me feel so … [Read more...]