The Joy & Pain of a Broken Empath

Empathy. Many days, it's awful. Being a broken empath? Nearly unbearable. I understand the "gift" of empathy. I understand that those of you who connect with my writing & have encouraged me to *finally* finish my memoir -or any book for that matter- see the spiritual gift of empathy in me. Being able to see & speak into the pain of others is a tremendously beautiful gift God has graciously allowed me to have to make my sista-frans & beautiful brothas a bit more at home in a world full of rejection. But. Empathy is the taking on of others pain. And I am a "high empath." Which means I'm feeling another's pain *almost* as if it were my own. If I'm closely connected to someone who's pain is unleashed in irresponsible ways, I am literally absorbing toxicity much like the dude on the 1st season of Heroes who absorbed others powers after he killed them, except I don't kill people so there's that. I digress.Yesterday I had a safe space conversation in which I ran through … [Read more...]

Divorce & Facebook.

Divorce. Facebook.It. Is. So. Hard.Both of them. Heinous.It takes a long time.It takes a long time to calm your mind about what others are thinking YOU should do about YOUR life...as if it's not yours, but their -limited- opinions that matter more than your own.It takes a long time to go through your profile photos to delete pictures of you & the ex.  Let alone whole entire albums of family vacations & the like.It takes a long time to finish paying for the divorce lawyer, the custody battle.It takes a long time to make your private Facebook page actually private to non-friends.It takes a long time to figure out who should be your Facebook friend, after a divorce. Because, people take sides. Because, custody battles mean privacy is necessary. Because, divorce makes you paranoid.It takes a long time to not feel stabbed in the gut by everything that happened in long, first marriage but you're so glad your free from it. Because, necessary.It … [Read more...]

When Post Traumatic Growth Happens

I’ve been on a trauma recovery journey I’ve been trying to articulate to myself and the Lord for the last five months.  It’s one I’m going to attempt to articulate -in part- to you.  This is what I know so far.  Everybody loves a good redemption story right?I heard a fascinating TEDx talk by Jane McGonigal.  When I began to hear Jane talking about some of the qualities that describe people who have pushed past Post Traumatic Stress Disorder to Post Traumatic Growth I smiled, said “thank you, God,” and knew I had taken that journey without even knowing it.You’ve heard of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder right?  But, have you heard of Post Traumatic Growth? Nope, me either.  As it turns out, trauma doesn’t have to ruin your life for ever. Some people get stronger after trauma.  Apparently, one can use trauma as a springboard to unleash one’s best qualities and lead happier lives.People who have survived trauma and moved on to growth say the followings things defined their life p … [Read more...]