“Zoning Boards Go Nuclear on Too-Traditional Families”: Me at AltFem

from the Gospels to the Golden Girls: The people in 68 Scarborough St., in Hartford, Conn., make an unlikely band of outlaws. The eight adults and three children live in a 6,000-square-foot house in a wealthy residential neighborhood, and pass their time with family talent shows. A photo of the crew in the Hartford Courant shows a dog in a maroon coat and a record player with actual records.The adults in the house are longtime friends who “intentionally came together as a family,” as one of … [Read more...]

“Gay, Catholic, And Called to Love”: Me and My Oxford Comma Are in the Catholic World Report

interviewin' (bookhawkin'): In her book, Tushnet recounts how during her first week at Yale University, she decided to spend some time “gawking at zoo animals”—i.e., members of a conservative debate society. She reports how she “ended up in a long argument with one of the zoo animals, a Catholic divinity school student.” Through her contact with the debate society and its Catholic members, she came to encounter the Church. Like Pope Francis, those Catholic debaters journeyed to the edges, dialog … [Read more...]

“An Open Conversation on Mixed-Orientation Marriage”

over at Theology in the Raw. Up-front about the suffering they've experienced; also challenging to the churches: We’ve received a lot of well-meaning advice that has turned out to be very harmful, but possibly the worst is to avoid other LGBT people. The assumption and fear is that if Brian befriends another gay man, of course he’ll cheat. While there is wisdom in maintaining some physical, emotional, and relational boundaries, isolating oneself completely is extremely harmful. Brian’s frien … [Read more...]

“Leading with Humility”: Me on Spiritual Direction for Gay Christians

and other people, should they exist: Several months after I'd stopped seeing my first spiritual director because he'd been transferred to a different parish, I saw that he'd be giving a talk on Catholic understandings of homosexuality. Since I knew I wasn't his only gay spiritual directee—in fact, he'd been recommended to me by another gay Catholic who, like me, was trying to live in accordance with Catholic teaching—I was excited to hear his perspective.I ended up sharply disappointed in th … [Read more...]

Honoring Friendship on St Aelred’s Feast Day

...which I totally missed. But there's always next year (if the Messiah tarries):I don’t know how you might choose to mark Aelred’s feast day today, or if you’re even comfortable marking saints’ feast days, but I’d encourage you to try something, be it small or large. I myself am planning to make a simple dinner for my housemates to give thanks for their company tonight. Perhaps you would want to start planning an “anniversary of friendship” trip to celebrate the years you’ve known a particul … [Read more...]

O Wanderer, Come Home: Notes from the Gay Christian Network Conference

Jesus said, “Amen, I say to you, there is no one who has given up house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands for my sake and for the sake of the gospel who will not receive a hundred times more now in this present age: houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and eternal life in the age to come. But many that are first will be last, and [the] last will be first."-Mk 10:29-31 These are very scattered notes but let me s … [Read more...]

Acceptance as the Precondition for Change: Motivational Interviewing and Jesus and Gay Stuff

A second small post in my intermittent series about things people have asked me in interviews about Gay and Catholic.I did a long, fascinating interview, which I hope I'll be able to share with you all fairly soon, in which the interviewer is a secular progressive. He found aspects of my book intriguing, but at one point he said, "Look, I need to push back on you a bit here. You talk a lot about the need for the churches to change and become more accepting and welcoming of gay people. And … [Read more...]


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