Take the Guns, Leave the Cannoli–Unless the Cannoli Is What You Need!

I’m a compulsive giver of advice. Despite my demonstrable lack of ability to run my own life like a person, I appear to believe that I could do well running yours. Now and then my friends have to basically say, “That’s great and all, stop helping.” I have the stereotypical guy thing where the wife [Read More...]

“Advice for Couples: Give Less Advice”: WSJ

Here’s a feature article on one of my many obsessions. And yes, I hate “studies have found” too, but much of this rings true. I wish they’d elaborated more on the problems with simply recasting advice as, “When something similar happened to me, I…” storytelling. I’ve found that people giving advice on how to give [Read More...]

From “Middlemarch”

And now within all the automatic succession of theoretic phrases–distinct and inmost as the shiver and the ache of oncoming fever when we are discussing abstract pain–was the forecast of disgrace in the presence of his neighbours and of his own wife. For the pain, as well as the public estimate of disgrace, depends on [Read More...]

From George Eliot, “Middlemarch”

This was not the first time that Mr. Bulstrode had begun by admonishing Mr. Vincy, and had ended by seeing a very unsatisfactory reflection of himself in the coarse unflattering mirror which that manufacturer’s mind presented to the subtler lights and shadows of his fellow-men; and perhaps his experience ought to have warned him how [Read More...]