“Christian Faith and Same-Sex Attraction”: Conference in PA This Weekend–I’ll Be There!

Where will you be? (I hope you're visualizing that in scary Jack Chick flame-letters.)The conference is at Trinity School for Ministry, near Pittsburgh. It features Wesley Hill, Melinda Selmys, Mark Yarhouse, and me. It starts Friday night. I'll be doing two presentations Saturday, one on "Sacrifice and Sublimation: Understanding Same-Sex Desire," and one on "Discipleship Is a Journey, Not a Destination," plus I'll be on the wrap-up panel at the end. Check out the other topics here! And … [Read more...]

Let’s Talk About Things Other Than Sex, Baby: A “Gay and Catholic” Book Extra

A few times here I've used this phrase "sexualization of gay Christians," and I think by now it's fairly clear what I mean by it: Lots of well-meaning people of many different beliefs focus on sexual problems when they think about gay people. This post from Sarah at A Queer Calling is my favorite example: ...After hearing the names of these two saints repeated one after the other for weeks, I finally asked someone, “Why do you think so many people are advising that I take either St. Mary of E … [Read more...]

Will the Circle Be Unbroken?: A “Gay and Catholic” DVD Extra

This is the post about "possibilities for publicly honoring nonmarital sacrificial love," and there are a lot of directions I could go with it.I could jump into the ongoing conversation about vowed friendships, except that a) I delve into those questions extensively in the book and b) I don't tbh really grok the CS Lewis, friendship is about gazing outward not at one another, friendship is a realm of pure freedom, stuff. You all already know I don't like realms of pure freedom and am not … [Read more...]

“Becoming Christians: What If You Are an SSA Couple?”: LivingOut

I don't love the insistence on re-terming this relationship a "friendship"--like, give people some breathing room to figure out how they want to talk about their own difficulties and loves!--and I would emphasize more the need to minimize disruption for your children. But overall this is compassionate advice, from a trio of (openly!) same-sex attracted Christian ministers/speakers in England:We recently received an email from a member of a same-sex couple who have both just committed their … [Read more...]

Wedding Crowns and Solidarity in Struggle: A “Gay and Catholic” Book Extra

I've been to two Orthodox Christian weddings so far, and my favorite part of them is the crowns. Both bride and groom are crowned during the ceremony. As with the breaking of the glass in a Jewish wedding (probably also my favorite part, though the chair-bouncing which terrified my father at my sister's wedding may take first place there) I'm guessing there are multiple meanings to this symbol, but the one I've heard most often is that these are the crowns of martyrdom. They're meant to remind … [Read more...]

Misconceptions: A “Gay and Catholic” Book Extra

So I initially planned to write this post listing the many weird personal judgments people project onto me when they hear that I'm gay and celibate for religious reasons. I'd then go through the different misconceptions and point out how they're false w/r/t my own life and/or that of other gay celibate people I know.But then I asked myself, "What are you hoping to accomplish with this post?"These projections or Internet diagnoses reflect the fact that for many people my witness lacks … [Read more...]

Self-Abboting: Sin or Vice? A Very Small “Gay and Catholic” Book Extra

Chris Roberts has this thing I like, where he points out that our modern concept of being "single" is not really supported by Christian theology or historical practice. Even when we try to delineate ways that "single people" can love and serve, such as friendship, we start with the unmarried individual as an autonomous unit and seek to Lego this unit onto other units. (...Uh, I'm not liking this image. Retreat.) The celibate "single" or layperson is weird--the norm for celibate people is … [Read more...]