“The Art of Toilet Cleanliness”: Lucky Peach

life lessons: ...The first option, the win-the-lotto option, was jam a coat hanger down in the grease trap and see if it’s a plastic bag blocking it or something. (One time I found some sorry asshole’s underwear in a situation like that, but that’s a different story.) But it wasn’t. And it was now three minutes later and the restaurant wasn’t any less packed and there was shit water creeping up, so I did what you do if you want to go around calling yourself a chef: I took my shirt off and my fri … [Read more...]

Kitchen Adventures: Fall Omelet

Today's lunch.Ingredients: butter, two eggs, splash of milk, maybe a quarter of a large Honeycrisp apple, most of a jalapeno, some shredded cheddar cheese, black pepper, a bit of salt.What I did: Diced the apple and jalapeno. Stirred the milk into the eggs with a fork until it was all basically one color. Added apple and jalapeno and stirred them in. Melted butter in a small nonstick pan. Poured egg mixture into pan. Let it sit on what I'm gonna call medium heat but was probably fairly … [Read more...]

Kitchen Adventures: “Samosa” “Stuffed” Potatoes

They are really potatoes!This is my lunch today. It is extremely straightforward but it's an idea I wouldn't have considered if I hadn't seen a recipe that inspired me. There are a couple ways you can do it: the way described in the recipe I'm riffing on, or the lazy way. Guess which I picked.What I used: a medium russet potato; butter; chopped garlic; chopped jalapeno; canned chickpeas; ground cumin and cinnamon. A microwave and a small nonstick pan.What I did: Bake the potato in … [Read more...]

“How This Tree Growing 40 Different Fruits at Once Was Made”: io9

overlooks the obvious explanation: This tree growing 40 different types of fruit—including varieties of peaches, plums, apricots, and almonds—may look like something plucked straight from the imagination, but it’s very real. And this is how it was made. witchcraft (gorgeous photo though!!) … [Read more...]

Deep Morbid Strawberries: A Summertime Kitchen Adventure

We're supposed to hit 90 for Memorial Day (which I'm thrilled about, though I will now shut up about it since I know you guys don't want to hear how much I love DC's most tropical months) so here's another report on summer drinks.This time I got a quart of strawberries from the farmer's market. They were, let's say, rich in ripeness. A little ways over the peak of their lusciousness and skidding into that blowsy, makeup-smeared stage, the 2 AM of la vida loca fresa. I cut off the tops and … [Read more...]

Important Ice-Cream Update

Uh, putting a whole chocolate bar in your ice-cream soda is a bad idea, don't do that. Libresco noted that she'd always just eaten ice cream + soda (as indicated by the name of the drink) and I tried that and it was great! I grew up on ice-cream sodas made by this amazing Jamaican ice cream parlor near home, where they would replace the chocolate syrup with hot fudge if you asked, and their ice-cream sodas always had this exotic tang, not quite cinnamon but cinnamon-adjacent... but you know, … [Read more...]

Ye Canna Change the Laws of Physics!: A Chocolaty Kitchen Adventure

So I tried to make an ice-cream soda today. I made... something!First attempt: Maybe two scoops of Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Therapy ice cream (I KNOW, you don't have to say anything) went into a big glass. Then I melted a Lindt chili chocolate bar in the microwave and poured that in. Then started to fill the glass with club soda but realized that the melted chocolate bar would make things fairly warm, so I added some ice cubes, then filled to the brim w/soda water.At which point the … [Read more...]