But it’s self-absorbed when Elizabeth Wurtzel says it!

I included this as a link in my previous Wurtzel post but I think it's worth reprinting an old blog post. I liked Andrew Cherlin's book quite a bit, but he did this several times: As other lifestyles become more acceptable, you must choose whether to get married and whether to have children. You develop your own sense of self by continually examining your situation, reflecting on it, and deciding whether to alter your behavior as a result. People pay attention to their experiences and make … [Read more...]

The gold is a lie!!!–and other lies we tell ourselves

Everybody's beating up on this Elizabeth Wurtzel column, in which she says: ...It had all gone wrong. At long last, I had found myself vulnerable to the worst of New York City, because at 44 my life was not so different from the way it was at 24. Stubbornly and proudly, emphatically and pathetically, I had refused to grow up, and so I was becoming one of those people who refuses to grow up—one of the city’s Lost Boys. I was still subletting in Greenwich Village, instead of owning in Brooklyn Hei … [Read more...]

“Celibacy and Friendship ‘After 30′”: Wesley Hill

muses on the problems, and offers some anecdotes with practical advice: ...When I speak to groups of Christians about celibacy and friendship, one of the questions that always comes up is whether intimate friendships are attainable in churches today, particularly for single young adults. “You speak positively and hopefully about friendship,” people say, “but are you and other celibate gay Christians actually satisfied by the friendships you’ve found? Do you have the companionship and intimacy yo … [Read more...]

“A World of Good Intentions”

My new piece at Acculturated, continuing the marriage & family series with a look at What It Means to Be Daddy: Fatherhood for Black Men Living Away from Their Children and Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce. This is a piece where I really felt the word-count constraints. You guys should absolutely pick up these books, since I know I didn't do them justice. … [Read more...]

World without cousins

Declining fertility means not just fewer children, but much less rich and complex family structures in general. A culture in which one’s parents have one or no siblings is one very nearly without aunts and uncles. The University of Maine’s Robert Milardo has called these “the forgotten kin” arguing that “aunts and uncles complement the work of parents, sometimes act as second parents, and sometimes form entirely unique brands of intimacy.” --more … [Read more...]

“Reference of Frame”

I review an art exhibit, at AmCon--and this exhibit closes at the end of December, so go soon! In the past several years photographers Claire Felicie and Lalage Snow have independently published pictures of soldiers taken before, during, and after their service in Afghanistan. It’s easy to project one’s own beliefs about the war, and war in general, onto these portraits; still, they offer fascinating portrayals of how people can change. I wasn’t expecting the frequency with which the soldier in … [Read more...]

“Last Comes Marriage”

I start a series for Acculturated, by reviewing Promises I Can Keep: Why Poor Women Put Motherhood Before Marriage. There's much more in the book than I had a chance to cover in this piece, but I hope it will inspire more people to read it. Also, this piece obviously picks up some of the themes of my "hedonist, disciple or bourgeois?" post, so if you're following that discussion you might check it out. … [Read more...]


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