Celibacy in Partnership: Notes for a Chapter I Wish I’d Included

in my great big gay Catholic book. (Preorder it here or here!)First of all, a caveat. I didn't include a chapter on celibate partnerships (i.e. people who conceive of their vocations together in those terms, rather than in terms of devoted or spiritual friendship--I have a bunch of chapters on friendships which go beyond the modern "just friends" model) partly because I didn't think I understood it very well. I still don't! I'd appreciate your thoughts on all of these "dvd extras" posts, but … [Read more...]

“Why Celibacy Isn’t the Point”: Me at Level Ground

doin' my thing: Gay Christians who are celibate for religious reasons are having a small coming-out party of sorts. We’ve seen recent articles exploring my exotic new sub-sub-sub-subculture in Slate, Religion News Service, and even The Advocate. I’m thrilled to see these pieces and I deeply appreciate the respect the authors showed despite, in some cases, intense and personal theological differences. But there’s always going to be some dissonance when a community is represented by outsid … [Read more...]

A Couple Gay Christian Whatnot Links

Protestants! CAN YOU FEEL THE ECUMENISM.First, my friend Matt Jones looks at how his shifting understanding of vocation has changed both his emotional and spiritual life--very powerful: Two years ago, as I was just beginning to think more critically about my faith and sexuality, I attended a wedding. It has been interesting to revisit the memorialized emotions that accompanied the ceremony, to examine the well-worn paths down which my uncertain thoughts routinely fled when confronted by … [Read more...]

“Ask Yourself These Questions Before Entering a Celibate Relationship”: A Queer Calling

Really important stuff imo. I infest the comments: As you can probably imagine, many people ask us for advice about celibate relationships, how realistic that concept is, and how to make such a relationship work. Several people can be frustrated by our typical reply: we don’t think we’re very good at giving advice. However when enough people ask us the same question, we think we ought to address it to the best of our ability. We know a fair number of people who are living in celibate par … [Read more...]

“Celibate LGBT Christians: The Mainstream Gay Community Should Be More Welcoming”

A very generous piece at Slate, in which I'm cited: Far from the mainstream LGBTQ experience of pride parades and marriages, Outward and the Advocate, there exists a small, tight-knit group of LGBTQ people who, though fully out, remain committed to conservative Christian prohibitions on gay sexual activity. While some refer to themselves as SSA or “same-sex attracted” as a means of distancing themselves from queer identities, others proudly use the LGBT or LGBTQ initialisms that highlight their … [Read more...]

“10 Misconceptions About Celibate Partnerships”: A Queer Calling

Even as we thought about naming our blog before we began writing, we knew there would always be people who misunderstand our way of life. There are many misconceptions about celibacy in general, and it’s understandable that there are even more about celibate partnerships like ours. Seeing as we already spent some time clarifying the nature of our relationship last week, we thought that it might be a good time to expound upon some misconceptions we’ve encountered about celibate partnerships since … [Read more...]

“Green Leaves, Red Flames, And Glimpses of Vocation”: Some Lovely Stuff

from A Queer Calling: ...One summer while on retreat, I sat at the dinner table nearly every evening with a priest who seemed to understand my uncertainty intuitively. Frequently, I asked him questions about how he understood the role of celibacy in his vocation to the priesthood, if he experienced loneliness, and if he had any regrets about forgoing marriage. This priest could tell that I wasn’t casually exploring monastic life with no real intention of committing to a celibate vocation of s … [Read more...]


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