If You Don’t Honor Celibacy…

This is a more tentative section of my "three false gods" presentation. It's about what we lose when marriage crowds out the practice of celibacy.Catholics have marriage as an image of Heaven--the wedding feast of the Lamb. But we also have celibacy as an image of the life of Heaven, where there is neither marrying nor giving in marriage. Putting marriage in its proper place means not only renewing other forms of "horizontal" love, but also a rediscovery of the beauty and passion of … [Read more...]

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The Three False Gods of Marriage, Freedom, And Morality

So I spent a long weekend in Holland, MI, the heart of Dutch Reform USA and home to Hope College. I was there to talk about Gay Catholic Whatnot, in a variety of settings--a mix of public and private, etc--organized by the St Benedict Forum, the college's small but growing papist posse. It was a fantastic experience. I'd esp like to note the way aesthetic concerns surfaced throughout the trip. Hope College people really care about sacred architecture and music; the chapel service I spoke at had … [Read more...]

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“Being Single Shouldn’t Mean Being Alone”: I’m in the Washington Post

doin' my thing: If you saw Pixar’s “Inside Out,” you may remember the charming short cartoon that played before the film. “Lava” features a shaggy old volcano in the middle of the ocean. He’s surrounded by happy couples: Two gulls arc overhead, two fish leap in the water. But he sings miserably all day about how he longs for “someone to lava.”In despair he sinks to the ocean floor — but lo! A lady volcano (a much younger and more attractive peak than he is, I’m just saying) bursts forth and … [Read more...]

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Some Ideas for When Your Church Can’t Handle the Thought of Orthodox Gay People

Hey y'all. I am back from the Gay Christian Network's 2016 conference. It was a great experience; I met a ton of people, got a lot out of both of the keynote speakers I saw (Broderick Greer & Misty Irons), and went to some excellent workshops e.g. one on the challenges faced by gay students at Christian campuses. Here's my post on GCN 2015. Hoping to see many of you all in Pittsburgh next year!I also led one workshop. It was called "Side B: Changing Our Churches." GCN has this … [Read more...]

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“In Single Moms’ Households, Two Heads Are Often Better Than One”: Washington Post

on finding vocation, and new paths of love, in hard circumstances: When Kimberly Taylor separated from her husband three years ago, she and her daughter, Amelia, stayed in the marital home — a four-bedroom house in Woodbridge, Va., with a finished basement and a huge back yard. It was a lot of square-footage and a financial strain. But rather than downsize, Taylor decided to fill it with someone she could relate to: another single mom.She placed an ad in Craigslist — “Mother w/awesome child … [Read more...]

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How Can I Change the Conversation at My College Around Gay People in the Church?

The second post about questions I was asked at recent speaking events. I've written about one important aspect of this already: You have to be out there doing the work of protecting actual gay people from actual violence, cruelty, and rejection. This is part of what our faith calls us to do.But okay, you're doing that; what about changing the immensely important conversation on sexual ethics and vocation?The most glaring problem I see right now is that American culture has a vocabulary … [Read more...]

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“Married, With Roommates: Why My Wife and I Choose to Live in a Group House”: Vox

voxes: ...Once we saved up enough money to buy a house of our own in Washington, DC's Petworth neighborhood, we deliberately chose a place in which we would always have room for housemates, even if we had kids in the future. As soon as we closed on our house, our first purchase was a long dining room table that could accommodate our group dinners.For us, living in a group house was not a phase to grow out of but a lifestyle choice that valued people over privacy. Sure, we lose certain … [Read more...]

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