The Case of the Missing Fruit

We have several fruit trees in our yard. Most years, we have so much – in particular of pears – that we give away bags full of them to friends and colleagues.

This year, we didn’t get to eat a single piece. All the fruit from the two pear trees, the apple tree, the peach tree, the cherry tree, and the quince disappeared just before they were ripe enough for us to pick them.

We had a suspect in mind, but after seeing the photo below which Allan Bevere posted, I am certain that this is our culprit:

Super Squirrel fights injustices such as humans trying to keep their fruit to themselves and their bird seed just for birds.

  • Allan R. Bevere

    So are you going to put out kryptonite-laced walnuts?

  • http://www.patheos.com/community/exploringourmatrix/ James F. McGrath

    Now there’s an idea! The best one we came up with was to unleash a bald evil genius of a squirrel bent on yard domination…

  • Gary

    Take a couple plastic spoons, put a scoop of peanut butter on the spoons (don’t know your squirrel’s favorite, chunky or smooth, may depend upon how old he is and how many teeth he has left). Stick spoons into the ground. Squirrel will go for the peanut butter instead of the fruit. Of course, if the squirrel has an extended family, and he talks, you’ll have all the squirrels in the area showing up for more. But it’s better to be visited by squirrels for an extended stay, than in-laws.

  • http://www.patheos.com/community/exploringourmatrix/ James F. McGrath

    I will need to ponder the ethics of bribing squirrels, but apart from such qualms, this sounds promising…

  • Gary

    The down side is that they take the spoon. But that is small inconvenience, considering the joy you give to your fellow animal-kind. Share and share alike. After all, we don’t have to sleep in a tree during the winter.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Howard-Mazzaferro/1297383749 Howard Mazzaferro

     Is it possible that you were only persuaded to believe that there was fruit on the trees? It is relatively easy to argue that a squirrel could have done this or that. The more relevant question is why you choose to insist that a squirrel did in fact take the fruit even when there is more than sufficient evidence to the contrary. Ought we not to reflect on the evidence we actually have, rather than insisting that it must conform to our assumptions, even when that leads us to end up denying or arguing against evidence from the trees themselves?

  • Gary

    I’ve lived in Ohio for about a year (job assignment – I wouldn’t do it for fun). Ohio, Indiana, it’s all about the same. Trees everywhere. As plain as the nose on your face. If you’ve got trees, you’ve got fruit. As far as squirrels go, same as trees, everywhere. Evidence is everywhere. Now maybe we can extrapolate from trees, squirrels, fruit, and the beautiful mixture of nature to frustrate humans, who are  trying to protect their fruit, that God created the whole thing. I rather think so…Now whether any of the squirrels will be resurrected, that’s another story.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Howard-Mazzaferro/1297383749 Howard Mazzaferro

      Well if any of it was the forbidden fruit, then that squirrel will never be resurrected by the Great Squirrel in the sky.

  • Gary

    Ahhh…but squirrels by definition (my definition) cannot sin. So perhaps they will be like Gods. And the great squirrel ends up being Mormon. Perhaps Romney is their leader. I think I am becoming a little squirrely. It still bothers me, in the Garden of Eden, how come the insects that eat the forbidden fruit, are not Gods. I have fallen into the forbidden region of inerrancy.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Howard-Mazzaferro/1297383749 Howard Mazzaferro

    Well technically speaking, the implication that eating from the tree would make one like God, meant that they would be like God in the sense of knowing good and bad, or more specifically deciding for themselves what was good and bad, and rejecting God’s dominance in the matter. Therefore, since lower life forms do not make moral decisions, but survive by instincts, they can not sin nor were they put to the test. Not to mention animals were put under man’s dominance.

  • Gary

    “Therefore, since lower life forms do not make moral decisions”…”Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. If then God so clothe the grass, which is to day in the field, and to morrow is cast into the oven; how much more will he clothe you, O ye of little faith?” Squirrels have morals. “Not to mention animals were put under man’s dominance”…Apparently not under Dr. McGrath’s fruit dominance. May your souls rest in peace, and no squirrels bring judgement upon you.

  • Gary

    An old post, but I knew Super Squirrel existed at one place in time. He may have wanted meat instead of fruit. You’re lucky he didn’t make it to Indiana.
    http://lightyears.blogs.cnn.com/2011/11/02/tiny-saber-toothed-squirrel-is-mammalian-ancestor/?hpt=hp_c2

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Howard-Mazzaferro/1297383749 Howard Mazzaferro
  • Gary

    It’s all becoming clear to me. The carnivore goes extinct. The apple seeker survives. There must be some theological lesson here someplace for mankind, or Garden-of-Eden seekers, both man and animals.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Howard-Mazzaferro/1297383749 Howard Mazzaferro

    Oh come on Gary, its as clear as the writing on the wall. The depiction of the ancient squirrel was left behind by ancient astronauts to inform the modern day squirrel that the true tablets of Moses were acquired by a group of holy squirrels and were instructed to hide them until the time of the end, and that they would be revealed again in the year 2010 as the Apple tablet (a.k.a. iPad). The tablets hold the secret to entering the Garden of Eden full of desirous TREES. However, over the thousands of years of paw written manuscripts, many embellishments and changes were introduced into the text of the holy squirreliture, so that the modern squirrel has been mislead to steal real apples from trees instead of the Holy Apple tablet.

  • Gary

    Certainly possible. I think squirrels have opposable thumbs. The documentary squirrel hypothesis (DSH).


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