When Jesus Stopped Believing in Santa

When Jesus Stopped Believing in Santa December 18, 2014

© Ollyy/Shutterstock
© Ollyy/Shutterstock

The day after the first Shabbat in Advent,
Mary and Joseph took Jesus, who was eight years old,

To the Great Mall of Bethlehem.
There, in the middle of the huge indoor shopping complex,
Was a stately Christmas tree surrounded by wrapped gifts.
“I don’t believe in Santa anymore,” Jesus announced.
Joseph, startled, asked why.
“He’s too fat to get down the chimneys,” Jesus answered,
“And there are too many chimneys for him to go down, all on the same night.”
“But you leave him cookies every Christmas Eve,” argued Mary,
“And he always eats them, leaving just a few crumbs!”
“That’s why he’s so fat,” declared Jesus. “All those cookies!”
“So you do believe in Santa after all!” said Joseph, with relief.
“No, I mean you. You eat the cookies. That’s why you are so fat,” said Jesus,
Patting his dad’s belly with affection.
“Oh, and I don’t believe that you were a virgin when you got pregnant with me, either,”
Said Jesus to Mary.
“That’s not how babies get made. I read about it online.”
Joseph sighed. “Well, the wonder of Christmas was great while it lasted:
There’s nothing so precious as the dancing eyes of a child who believes in the magical and the fantastic!”
“Don’t get too sad about it,” answered Jesus, his face aglow with joy. “I still believe that I am God!”

Jim Burklo is Associate Dean of Religious Life at the University of Southern California. Visit his website here.


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