The Les Mis Mass–My Parody of a Parody

Deacon Greg Kandra kindly alerted us to the Les Mis Mass that’s actually happening in the UK.

Unfortunately, I haven’t had the opportunity to review the libretto, but I’ve been participating in a discussion on FB about it and I decided to preserve, for all posterity, the lyrics that I, personally,  think SHOULD be included.  Submitted for your approval, a few of my original, suggested, additions.

THE SONGS OF ANGRY MEN

Can you hear the parish sing? Singing the songs of angry men.
This is what happens when a parish strains for relevance and then…
When the beating of your heart/ Echoes the beating of the drums.
There is a fight that’s going to start when Communion comes!

 

PASTOR IN THE HOUSE–  (I grant that this one is a bit course, but so was the original, and in for a penny…)
Pastor in the House / Cassock swishing By
Dips in the collection plate as it. goes. by.
Everybody’s pal / Master at the Mic
(Never met an altar boy he didn’t like!)
If it were not for Pope Francis
He’d make Monsignor in a year
But now that dream’s in pieces
“JESUS! Wish my purple sash was here!”

 

And my personal favorite, written in response to a direct challenge from Googling God author, Mike Hayes.

I DREAMED A DREAM

VERSE 1:
I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When nuns were hip
And priests used puppets
I dreamed reforms would never die
I dreamed the Pope would be a Muppet

Then I was young and unafraid
The Sacred, once revered, was wasted
No Marty Haugen went unplayed!
And homilies were cut and pasted!

BRIDGE:
But new rubrics come at night
CDF–as soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And they turn your dream to shame!

Aggiornamento–quite a ride!
ICEL was such a wonder
Took “one in being” in our stride
But then “consubstantial” came
VERSE 2:

And still I dream he’ll come to me
The Pope that will ordain both genders
Who gives “the Pill” to all for free!
And makes all liturgy a bender!

I had a dream my Church would be
So different from this hell I’m living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed
The dream…V-III

 

 

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