Healthy Marriage Habit #3: Emotional Regulation

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Each day, in celebration of the release of my latest book, When Divorce Is Not An Option: How to Heal Your Marriage and Nurture Lasting Love, I’ll look at one of the 8 habits that separates “marriage masters” from “marriage disasters.”  Last week, I summarized all 8 habits and we've looked at the first two habits in greater detail already.   Today, I’ll describe the third habit, Emotional Regulation.  After a brief explanation, you’ll have a chance to take a quiz that can help you evaluate how he … [Read more...]

“Mommy, Daddy, Stop Fighting!” Parental Conflict Hurts Kids’ Ability to Identify/Control Emotions

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Exposure to verbal and physical aggression between parents may hurt a child's ability to identify and control emotions, according to a longitudinal study. Exposure to conflict...in the home can shape children's neurobiological, cognitive, and behavioral responses."Our study points to ways in which aggression between parents may powerfully shape children's emotional adjustment," says C. Cybele Raver, professor of applied psychology at NYU Steinhardt and the study's lead author. "Arguing and … [Read more...]

Protect Your Kids from Cyberbullies with this 1 Simple Habit

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Cyberbullying was associated with mental health and substance use problems in adolescents but family dinners may help protect teens from the consequences of cyberbullying and also be beneficial for their mental health.About 1 in 5 adolescents has experienced recent online bullying and cyberbullying, like traditional bullying, can increase the risk of mental health problems in teens as well as the misuse of drugs and alcohol. It is important to understand whether cyberbullying contributes … [Read more...]

Today’s Cool Kids Are Tomorrow’s At-Risk Kids

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A new study may provide both a cautionary tale for parents of cool kids and a moment of schadenfreude for adults who were bullied in childhood.   At 13, they were viewed by classmates with envy, admiration and not a little awe. The girls wore makeup, had boyfriends and went to parties held by older students. The boys boasted about sneaking beers on a Saturday night and swiping condoms from the local convenience store.  They were cool. They were good-looking. They were so not you.  Whatever ha … [Read more...]

Prayer Promotes Bonding, Study Says.

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Servant of God, Fr. Patrick Peyton, is famous for the slogan, "the family that prays together, stays together."  In our books, our radio program and counseling practice, we strongly recommend both couple and family prayer as a way of increasing intimacy and responding to the differences that can divide.  Of course, this isn't just true for families.  Prayer is the means by which Jesus' own wish that all might be one in him (John 17:21) will be fulfilled.  As Pope Francis has demonstrated rep … [Read more...]

Frequent Arguing Doubles Risk of Death by Mid-Life

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Frequent arguments with partners, relatives, or neighbors may boost the risk of death from any cause in middle age, suggests research published online in the Journal of Epidemiology & Community Health.  (See Science Daily for full article)Researchers quizzed almost 10,000 men and women aged 36 to 52 about their everyday social relationships. The researchers focused particularly on who, among partners, children, other relatives, friends and neighbors, made excess demands, prompted wo … [Read more...]

Couple Conflict: Quality of Argument Less Important than Quality of Relationship

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The way a couple treats each other outside of their arguments is the best predictor of the couple's ability to get something positive out of their arguments--even if they're more heated than they ought to be.  Obviously, no couple likes to argue, but some couples seem to weather it better than others.  Therapists often think that the best way to deal with arguments is to avoid them, but is it possible to help teach couples to not be overwhelmed by bad arguments when they happen--and even be able … [Read more...]

Couple Conflict: Surprising Role Parenting Plays in Couple’s Ability to Rebound from Arguments

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One more reason parents need to be mindful of attachment parenting practices.  It turns out, the strength of parents' attachment to their kids predicts kids' ability to handle conflict in their future marriages. In a recent study examining couples' conflict management styles...researchers also had data on the target participants’ childhood attachment style and looked at how it impacted their conflict recovery. Unsurprisingly, individuals who were rated as securely attached recovered from co … [Read more...]


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