“Quit Being A Nag!” –Are You Harping? Or Just Seeking Respect.

How do you know when it's OK to keep bringing something up?As a marriage and family therapist, hardly a day goes by when I don't hear a wife ask if she is  "being a nag" or hear a husband accuse a wife of the same.  (Curiously, I rarely hear husbands worry about this or hear wives accuse husbands of this "crime.")Nagging Defined.To be fair, there are times when a person can be a nag.  For instance, if you have articulated a concern or need to your spouse and they are actively working … [Read more...]

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What’s YOUR Catholic Marriage IQ? Take the Quiz!

Do YOU know the truth about the Catholic difference in marriage? One thing that became stunningly clear in light of the recent Synod on the Family is how little people really understand the Catholic vision of marriage — perhaps most especially Catholics! Test your Catholic marriage IQ with the following questions.Q: What is the primary job of the Catholic husband and wife? A: The primary job of a Catholic husband and wife is to help get each other to heaven. That's a big part of what it m … [Read more...]

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Are Your Relationships “Frozen”? What Disney Can Teach Us About A Common Relationship Problem

There is a terrific article at The Science of Relationships on what Disney's Frozen can teach us about a common relationship problem and how it can negatively impact even our physical health! While the Disney animated film “Frozen” is most famous for its lovable characters and award-winning song “Let it Go”, this kids’ movie can teach us a thing or two about attachment styles in close relationships and the important interplay between partners’ preferences for intimacy versus independence. In “Fr … [Read more...]

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Bad Parenting: Why The Ban Against Communion for Divorced and Remarried Catholics Is Unjust and 3 Ways to Fix It.

In all the debate about what should be done to help those Catholics who have divorced and remarried without the benefit of an annulment, there is one solution I have not heard debated.Let's Be Honest... I agree that it is seriously problematic to allow those who have remarried without the benefit of an annulment to receive communion for the reasons I have mentioned elsewhere.   But let's face it, Did the vast majority of people who are on this path choose it knowingly and consciously?  D … [Read more...]

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Sloth at the Synod? OR…Why Cardinal Johnny Can’t (be bothered to) Read

Some years back, Rudolph Flesch wrote a book called, "Why Johnny Can't Read" about the poor state of literacy among children.  As I listen to the various conversations going on at the Synod on the Family in Rome, I wonder if Flesch could be persuaded to write a sequel for Catholic Cardinals and Archbishops.During the synod, there have been many discussions about how to handle various challenges such as what can be done to help Catholics who have remarried after divorce without the benefit of … [Read more...]

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OUTRAGE! Divorce, Remarriage and Getting Kicked Out of the Catholic Hospital.

I had a conversation with a reporter yesterday from a prominent newspaper about the ongoing Synod on the Family.  We had a great discussion and I appreciated her time.  In particular, we talked a lot about people who felt alienated from the Church (and those who are divorced and remarried in particular).  The conversation left me in a thoughtful mood. In particular, I was left reflecting on the question, "Why, exactly, do so many people feel excluded by the Church--especially those who are di … [Read more...]

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Are You Getting The Help You Need? 5 Ways Seeking Help Can Make Things Worse

Are your attempts to seek help actually making things worse?Earlier today, Simcha Fisher featured a guest post titled Married to An Angry Man written by Monica More (a pseudonym).  It's a story about a woman who is struggling in her marriage and who feels that all of her efforts to seek help have failed.  My heart broke when I read it because it is a story I encounter so often.  I am grateful to Monica for sharing her story because it is an opportunity to highlight the things every couple can … [Read more...]

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Pphubb You.

Yesterday on More2Life Radio, Bill Donaghy of the Theology of the Body Institute spoke of what he called, "Digital Contraception"; times when we let screens (phones, tablets, laptops, etc) come between us and opportunities for communion with others.  I didn't discover this in time for yesterday's show, but psychology actually has a name for this phenomenon, "Partner Phone Snubbing" or "Pphubbing."  A new study by Baylor University examines the frequency and impact of Pphubbing on intimate re … [Read more...]

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