Caring for the Wrong Reasons is Hazardous to Your Health

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Caring for people for the wrong reasons can cause burnout or worse.  A new study found that nurses who gravitate to the profession out of a desire to help people  tend to burn out and experience other mental health problems at a higher rate than those who become nurses because they enjoy the work or the lifestyle afforded by the profession.  The study doesn't just apply to nurses, but anyone in a relationship.Caring for the Right ReasonsWe're all called to be caring toward others, but th … [Read more...]

Enough with the Naysaying–You CAN Make Your Marriage Last A Lifetime

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Sociology professor, Pepper Schwartz, has a rather depressing piece in CNN titled, Lifetime Marriage a Crapshoot.    It reflects on the fact the the biggest percentage increase in divorces is among people over 50.  It used to be that people felt that if you made it to 25 years, you were home free.  Not any more.  Althought the divorce rate is significantly lower among longer-marrieds than among those married fewer than 10 years, it isn't unusual for couples to divorce after 25, 40, even 50 years. … [Read more...]

A Healthy Romantic Relationship Can Stabilize Neurotic People

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(H/T PsychCentral News)   A loving, romantic relationship can have a positive, stabilizing effect on a neurotic personality, according to a new study, published in the online edition of the Journal of Personality.“Neurotic people are rather anxious, insecure, and easily annoyed. They have a tendency towards depression, often show low self-esteem and tend to be generally dissatisfied with their lives,” said psychologist Dr. Christine Finn of the University of Jena in Germany. “However, we were abl … [Read more...]

Who Says, “I love you” First? Men or Women?

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Chances are, if asked, most people would say that women are more likely to say, "I love you" first in a relationship.  New research challenges this stereotype.  According to Dr. Gary Lewandowski at the Science of Relationships Blog...In a survey of 171 people, researchers confirmed that most (over 70%) believe women fall in love first and are quicker to say “I love you” compared to men. However, the survey also found that the stereotype is WRONG. In reality, men fell in love more quickly than … [Read more...]

What’s Your “Relationship Work Ethic?”

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Some couples do a better job of prioritizing their relationship than others.  And some couples are simply more comfortable having a more casual attitude toward making time for their marriage.  But a new study shows that all couples--even the ones with a more "don't sweat it" attitude toward couple time--experience a greater risk of marital problems over time if they don't learn to cultivate their "relationship work ethic."Is a date with your partner as important to you as a meeting at work? A … [Read more...]

Breaking Up is Hard to Do–There’s more going on than meets the eye with heartbreak

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Breaking up is always hard, but some people rebound more easily than others.  According to new research, it turns out a person's ability to recover from a break-up has even more to do about their attachment style than it does with the depth of feeling for the object of one's unrequited affections.  New research shows that people with secure attachment styles handle breakups much more efficiently than those with less secure attachment styles.  There are 4 basic attachment styles (Secure, Anx … [Read more...]

Emily Litella Says, “There’s NO WAY Gay Marriage Will Lead to Polyamory/Polygamy!”

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So, just last May 2012, gay advocate, Jonathan Rauch argued on NPR that the thought that same-sex marriage could possibly lead to mainstream acceptance of polyamory/polygamy was ridiculous.Rauch:  Same sex marriage leads away from polygamy, not for it. It's odd to argue that because children need parents, you should be against polygamy. That's one of the arguments polygamists make - that, you know, you have more moms and a dad. Isn't that great? In fact, the problem with polygamy is exactly … [Read more...]

What’s the #1 Reason Marriages Fail?

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People always ask me that question.  They expect me to say, "poor communication" or "infidelity" or "addiction" or some such.  Although these are all challenges, the real problem  is something deeper.  Here's an article from Together for Life taken from Lisa and my latest book, Just Married:  The Catholic Guide to Surviving & Thriving in the First Five Years of Marriage.In fact, the most common reason for marital break-ups actually cause all of these problems and more.The biggest co … [Read more...]


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