Ok, since this place is dedicated to “oddments and marginalia” and other weird Mormon Legends, I have two that I’d like to hear more about:

1) I remember reading somewhere that there was a theory that Shem, son of Noah, was the same person as Melchizedek. And then I remember reading somewhere else, Mormon Doctrine possibly, that the theory was nonsense. But if I remember right, the first person was quoting Joseph Smith. Anyone else ever heard of this controversy, and could provide better sources than my rotten memory?

2) In an old copy of the Lectures on Faith, I remember seeing a quote from somebody’s journal about how they were riding on a horse, and a big 8 ft tall naked hair-covered man came up beside them, and then later on the Prophet told them they had seen Cain, son of Adam. Anyone know anything about this one? Makes no sense to me… first of all, how come Adam dies of old age, but Cain gets to hang out? And why does he look like Bigfoot? And how’d he make it through the flood?

Addendum: Ok, our intrepid commentators have informed me that I had it all backwards, the Cain story was in Miracle of Forgiveness and the Shem/Melchizedek story was in Lectures on Faith.

Didn’t Brigham Young say something to the effect that he knew the Saints could withstand mobbings and lynchings, but he was worried about the effects prosperity would have on [us]?

Well here is my question: Since leaving school and working for a few years, I’ve been able to put a little money away and now am beginning to invest it. How aware do I need to be of who gets my money? Certainly I’m not going to go out and invest in shares of Phillip Morris or Anheiser Busch or Bally’s Casinos… But what about Coca-Cola? What about companies that SELL tobacco and alcohol, like restaurants & convenience stores, What about studios that make good movies, but also make R-rated ones? What about Marriott, for Pete’s sake, which has porn available as pay-per-view in all its hotel rooms? If I invest in these companies, am I not also profitting from the vices they promote and exploit?

To take it a step further, what if I don’t bother to invest in individual stocks at all, but stick to mutual funds? Am I responsible to monitor each individual company the fund invests in? If I don’t, then in theory, my money could be used to do things I would never dream of doing in person, right?

Perhaps I’m neurotic. After all, Phillip Morris also owns “Kraft”, I could tell myself that I was investing in Velveeta instead of Marlboro. I can go to the casino just for the buffet, right, and tell myself i’m not helping finance people’s addiction to gambling. If I subscribe to HBO, but only watch the PG13 stuff, never mind that i’m also helping produce The Sopranos, right? right?

What’s a gospel-conscious investor/consumer to do?

[For the record, when I mentioned this dilemma to a member of my stake presidency, he told me not to worry about it, because you don't have enough time to investigate all the uses your money is put to, and because ANY company might be doing something immoral you don't even know about. I'm not sure I'm satisfied with that answer....]

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Philip Morris is a tobacco company that has successfully diversified, and is now a producer of well-known brands of food and beer. (Its 2000 Annual Report noted that “Fifteen of our brands generated $1 billion or more in revenues last year: Marlboro, Kraft, Basic, Miller Lite, Virginia Slims, Parliament, L&M, Oscar Mayer, Post, Philip Morris, Maxwell House, Jacobs, Philadelphia, Merit and our newest addition, the Nabisco trademark.”)

-(http://www.virginiaplaces.org/econ/philipmorris.html)

FPR is pleased to announce the appointment of my brother Robert to perma-blogger status. Please feel free to welcome him to the blog.

Robert is a board-certified MD in rural Missouri with too much spare time. Although his online persona thusfar may make him seem like “House,” he is really much more like “Marcus Welby” (by which, I mean, old).

In the interest of keeping all posts from becoming bitter flame wars inspired by sibling rivalry, please feel free to keep commenting (additionally, please feel free to point out that I am right).

Sure, the bloggernacle is a place to discuss obscure points of doctrine and the true meaning of Zelph. It is a place where you can scratch your itch for intellectual approaches to the Gospel and fluffy testimonials. But where can you get the violence, the splendor, the glory, the gory of NFL football in the ‘nacle?

Well, right here, assuming that I get 6-10 interested nackers.

Announcing the Bloggernacle Fantasy Football league! Knock heads with Kaimi*! Drill Steve Evans* into the dirt! Watch Ryan Bell* juke Kristine Harris*! Catch a Hail Mary from Rosalynde Welch*! Get sacked by Danithew*!

Let me know if you are interested.

*actual participation by said Bloggernacle luminaries is dependent on their actually wanting to participate. Also, all afore-mentioned violence was and will remain purely metaphorical. Thank you.