Theologian actor Kirk Cameron had some lovely parenting advice posted for us on his blog yesterday. In a post he promoted by Jay Younts at Shepherd Press, he encourages parents to stop giving explanations to kids, and instead teach them to blindly obey. The piece says, in part:
“God has not called parents to explain but to train. Explanations often lead to frustration and anger for both parents and children. Children are not in need of lengthy, compelling explanations. What they are in need of is the understanding that God must be obeyed.”
The post goes on to warn parents who help their kids understand the why behind making good choices:
“Explanations tend to focus on getting someone to agree with you. The logic for explanations runs something like this: If I can just get my children to understand the reason for my direction, then they will be more likely to follow my instruction. While this may sound like solid reasoning, it is not. Explanations are more consistent with gaining approval and winning arguments. Neither of these are appropriate goals for biblical parenting and can lead to anger in your children as Ephesians warns against.”
Brilliant advice, if you want to raise frustrated children who leave town the day after they turn 18 and get stuck in abusive relationships because they don’t know how to problem solve or think critically. This is especially concerning for me, a Dad who is committed to adopting and raising girls specifically. The last thing I want for them is to end up in a relationship or a marriage and to think that they must blindly obey and follow their husband. However, that’s what this type of parenting will lead to: young adults who can’t think and who are susceptible to abusive relationships and abusive churches.
In fact, now that I think of it, I’m wondering if Jay Younts is actually just a pen name for Mark Driscoll? Got to keep the membership rolls growing, I guess.
PLEASE don’t follow Kirk’s parenting advice. Children need to know why and how to make good choices, instead of learning to blindly follow authority figures.
So, there you go. A theology of parenting according to Kirk Cameron says that biblical parenting is to teach your kids to shut up and do what they’re told.
I say, that’s dangerous.
You can read the entire, disgusting piece, here.