I JUST GOT INTO THE HEADS OF THE GOP CANDIDATES AND LOOK AT THE CRAP I FOUND!

All the GOP candidates for president pledged to fight on following the gay marriage court ruling. Here is what they said BUT I’ve ADDED MY OWN WORDS to each actual statement in BOLD CAPS to get to the point of what they really mean... IF YOU COULD GET INTO THEIR HEADS…

Mike Huckabee, said that while he was certain that “some cowardly politicians will wave the white flag,” he was determined not to bow to a decision he saw as illegitimate. “I will not acquiesce to an imperial court,” he said Friday, “JUST LIKE AS A SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN MY KIND HAVE NEVER ACQUIESCED ON RACE, WE WERE BIGOTS BEFORE BROWN V. BOARD OF EDUCATION AND WE’RE STILL PROUD BIGOTS NOW LIKE ME DEFENDING THE USE OF THE CONFEDERATE FLAG LIKE I DID LAST WEEK! NEVER GIVE UP WHITE PRIVILEGE!”

Gov. Scott Walker of Wisconsin said he would push for a constitutional amendment that would allow states to continue prohibiting same-sex marriage. “No one wants to live in a country where the government coerces people to act in opposition to their conscience,” he said. “We will continue to fight for the freedoms of all Americans… JUST LIKE WE WILL CONTINUE TO FIGHT FOR THE FREEDOM OF KILLERS EVERYWHERE TO OWN GUNS BECAUSE NO ONE WILL TELL REAL AMERICANS WHO TO SHOOT OR NOT SHOOT! WE WANT OPEN CARY GUN RIGHTS BUT NOT GAY RIGHTS! DON’T TREAD ON ME!”

Jeb Bush, said the court was wrong, he said it was crucial “to protect religious freedom and the right of conscience and also not discriminate AGAINST THE SORT OF WHITE RUBE BIGOTS WE IN THE GOP DEPEND ON TO GET ELECTED SO DON’T MAKE THEM BAKE CAKES FOR ANY FAGS OR MAKE THEM BUY CONTRACEPTIVE INSURANCE COVERAGE FOR WOMEN WHO WILL JUST USE IT TO BE SLUTS.”

Senator Marco Rubio of Florida criticized the decision and said that the next president must focus on protecting “the First Amendment rights of religious institutions and millions of Americans whose faiths hold a traditional view of marriage BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH LOTS OF THEM ARE HATE FILLED AND BACKWARD I NEED THEIR VOTES AND WE DEPEND ON THE FOX NEWS NUTS SO BE NICE TO THEM AND PRETEND WE CARE ABOUT THEIR CULTURE WAR ISSUES WHILE WE HAND THE COUNTRY TO THE KOCH BROTHERS AND THEIR ONE PERCENT PALS. I MEAN THEY PAID FOR IT RIGHT?”

Bobby Jindal of Louisiana said  that marriage was ordained by God “and no earthly court can alter that JUST LIKE NO EARTHLY SO-CALLED SCIENTIST CAN PROVE THAT THE EARTH WASN’T CREATED SIX THOUSAND YEARS AGO, AND THAT CLIMATE CHANGE IS MAN MADE, WE KNOW WHAT WE KNOW AND WE KNOW SINCERE BELIEF IS BETTER THAN FACTS!”

Frank Schaeffer is a writer. His latest book —WHY I AM AN ATHEIST WHO BELIEVES IN GOD: How to give love, create beauty and find peace

Available now on Amazon

 

Jonathan Martin contributed reporting.