# IX Commandment cont…

IX: Never forget you owe it to your child to squarely face your own particular generational curse.Some people have rude fathers or mothers with sharp snide tongues. Others have darkly depressed parents. Some have hovering neurotic parents, or a cold and distant father—whatever.Whatever it is that curses you  know this: You are going to pass on what you experienced and learned to despise when you grew up unless you make a huge effort not to.You have a choice. If there was something yo … [Read more...]

# VI Commandment Re Your Kids

VI: Never make the mistake I made by expecting that somehow a child will learn to be polite by yelling at them!Snapping, “Say thank you!” or “Say please!” teaches nothing. Saying please and thank you to your child and showing them consistent respect is what they will imitate.(to be continued in this space tomorrow...)To book Frank Schaeffer to speak at your college, church or group contact him at Frankschaeffer.com Frank Schaeffer is a writer and author of Crazy for God: How I Gre … [Read more...]

# 3 Commandment for Making a Happy Child Into Your Lifelong Friend

III: Never make sarcastic remarks to a child much less say snide or ironic things meant to put them in their place. The worst parent (aside from a neglectful abuser) is a score-settling parent.Mea culpa!If you want your child to trust you they can’t be thinking you’ll put them down or make them the butt of a joke they don’t even understand. You’re not competing with them or trying to be the funniest person in the room.It should never feel risky to be with a mother or father. You shou … [Read more...]

My “Twelve Commandments” of Happy Parenting

If I could have one wish, it would be to get a parent do-over knowing what I know now as a happy grandparent. My kids survived me and wound up as my friends but nevertheless I cringe when I remember just how stupid and cruel I was as a young father. But my children were resilient and survived my stupidity and are now my closest friends. Saying you’re deeply sorry is the best thing to do when you know you were wrong.I can save parents and would-be parents’ grief and a good bit of self flag … [Read more...]

How to Keep Your Mate Even If You Are A Semi-Evolved Recovering Evangelical Controlling Bastard

  Following her mother's example my first child  Jessica returned love for my clumsy-to-bad-to-mean "fathering..." She was born when I was 18 but I eventually grew up. When she was a young adult I asked Jessica to forgive me for the times I'd pulled her hair, for the slaps and unkind yelling she endured as a young child.Forgive as you would be forgiven is not a prescriptive command but a factual description of what heals human relationships. If I've learned … [Read more...]


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