Club Unicorn: Gay, Mormon, Married?

Since my husband and I co-founded Evangelicals for Mitt (EFM) with some friends back in 2006, we’ve been plunged into the center of the world of Mormonism.  As a southern evangelical, I had little exposure to Mormonism prior to launching the website, so it was a very eye-opening experience.

At first, perhaps the only people who read us were LDS members who wanted to see what we were saying about them. Initially, they corrected us. (“Mormon,” we learned, is actually considered a slur.  They prefer to be called “members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.”) Then they began to argue with us about theology.  Then, we received hundreds of heartfelt conversion stories.  Then, slowly, they began to be our friends.  Over the past few years, I can honestly say that my love and appreciation for the LDS church is embarrassingly vast.  In fact, now, I’m a Mormonophile.  I’ve toured a temple, can identify Minerva Teichert’s works, have walked through BYU, lamented when Kraft stopped making Postum, and have even stopped to offer Mormon missionaries a lift in the rain.  Also, strangely, when things happen in the Mormon world, I know about it.  I’m pulling for Jef in the Bachelor, though his Mormonism hasn’t been confirmed. I know that David Archuleta is on his mission, and I tweeted during General Assembly to my Mormon Twitter followers.

So, of course, I got pinged when this Mormon blogger came out of the closet on his tenth wedding anniversary.

Here’s the bottom line for those who don’t have the time to read his 6,000 word essay (though it’s very poignant, so I really suggest you do).

Basically, Utah resident and Mormon Josh Weed realized he was attracted to males at a young age and waited for his attraction to girls to kick in.  It never did.  When he told his religious parents, they were supportive and loving.  Their love presumably enabled him to be faithful to his religion in spite of his temptation. Additionally, his best friend – who was a girl, natch, named Lolly – helped him struggle through how this information would affect his life.  Gradually, he and Lolly realized they, in fact, were in love.  Lolly explains why she decided to tie the knot with a gay man:

When you get married, you are accepting a person as a package deal—the good, the bad, the hard, the amazing and the imperfect….I knew that I loved Josh. I loved All of him. I wanted to marry him. I wanted to marry Josh Weed because I loved the man that he was. I loved everything that made him him. I didn’t want anyone else. I knew that we had the kind of relationship that could work through hard trials and circumstances. I had faith in him and I had faith in our love. I did not choose to marry someone who is gay. I chose to marry Josh Weed, the man that I love, and to accept all of him. I have never regretted it.”

So, Josh is married to a woman with whom he has a great sex life.  Josh explains that “sex is about more than just visual attraction and lust and it is about more than just passion and infatuation… when sex is done right, at its deepest level it is about intimacy. It is about one human being connecting with another human being they love. It is a beautiful physical manifestation of two people being connected in a truly vulnerable, intimate manner because they love each other profoundly. It is bodies connecting and souls connecting.”

So why isn’t he “true to himself” by being with a man?  Because he believes Mormonism is true and chooses to live by its tenets.  Here’s his message:

If you are gay and Mormon (or Christian), I want you to know how much love I feel for you, and how much I admire you. I know how hard it is to be where you are. I want you to do me a favor. I want you, right now, to take a deep breath, look in the mirror, and accept yourself as you are in this very instant. You are you. And your attractions are part of you. And you are totally okay! I promise. I want you to stop battling with this part of you that you may have understood as being sinful. Being gay does not mean you are a sinner or that you are evil. Sin is in action, not in temptation or attraction. I feel this is a very important distinction. This is true for every single person. You don’t get to choose your circumstances, but you do get to choose what you do with them.

I want you to know that God loves you, and that even though you are attracted to people of the same gender, you are a completely legitimate individual, worthy of God’s love, your family’s love, and the love of your friends. You are no more broken than any other person you meet. You are not evil. You are a beautiful child of God. Please don’t be ashamed. Know that you can be forgiven for any mistakes you have made, and that God is not judging you. He loves you. Turn to him. He has a plan specifically for you. He wants you to be happy, and he will take you by the hand, and guide you step by step to where you need to be if you trust Him. He is not angry with you, and He knows you completely, every part, even the parts you wish you could keep hidden. He knows it all, and he still loves you!

This blog post has gone super viral. Gawker called Josh for an interview, his “coming out” post was featured at Slate, and apparently a major network asked him to go to New York and be on their show.  Currently, the blog post has over 3,000 comments and counting.  Andrew Sullivan – who says he is gay and Catholic – even endorsed Josh’s blog post. So, what is the lesson?  Is it that the Mormon church – as Slate claims – is “evolving?”  Or, is this simply the way church ought to work?

Josh’s message is resonating, but not because it is revolutionary.  In fact, Jesus himself was tempted but decided not to sin. I’m not a Mormon, but my Presbyterian children learn these basic catechisms during fifth grade.

What effect did the sin of Adam have on all people?
We are all born guilty and sinful.

What does it mean to pray, “And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil”?
We are asking God to keep us from being tempted and to make us strong enough to resist when we are tempted.

So why has this blog gone viral?  Perhaps because Josh’s honesty and love smashes the stereotype that liberals are all-too-willing to believe about religious people.  Liberals, after all, believe that Mormons are so hateful to homosexuals that they aired this:

 

 

(Mormons were going to charge into a homosexual couple’s home, go through their underwear drawer, and rip up their marriage license?)

The Club Unicorn post is shocking to liberals precisely because their have a complete blindness to the true nature of faithful people in America.  Whether this is their fault or ours, this mischaracterization has a chilling effect on real dialogue on this issue.

Thanks, Josh, for creating this conversation.
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About Nancy French

Nancy French is a three time New York Times Best Selling Author.

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  • Lynn

    I loved this post by Josh, and I loved that you posted it. I’m LDS and a theatre graduate. In the last 15+ years, I’ve seen so many friends walk away from the church over the issue of same-gender attraction. Some tried celibacy but got lonely. Some married and then gave up after a decade or so. Some were fully active in their gay sex lives and then came out as soon as they graduated from BYU. I’ve seen jilted wives who were cheated on or verbally abused over all of their imperfections. Some come away with a deeper love for Christ, because He helped them through their suffering. Some have left the church entirely, wounded at having been advised to enter a risky marriage. Others stay in the church but openly advocate marriage, convinced that things will all work out in the end.

    I love my gay friends. I believe Christ wants us to love everyone. But sometimes the Two Great Commandments to love God and love your neighbor are difficult to reconcile together. I believe that protecting marriage and preserving it’s correct definition is part of loving God enough to keep His commandments, and while we should never stop loving our neighbor, we cannot forfeit our love for God.

    Josh’s post has angered many, particularly some wounded people who tried the straight marriage route and were unsuccessful. One friend of mine wrote something of a rebuttal to the post, which in part was an inadvertent confession that her ex and the father of her children, who is gay and now out and proud, was secretly viewing gay pornography for much of their marriage. After more than a decade and many years of therapy and antidepressants later, they finally let go and divorced. She is now hugely open in her personal advocacy of same-sex marriage.

    I love both of these people, and I was heartbroken at how difficult things were for them. But I have to point out one major difference between the two marriages – Josh’s marriage to Lolly and this other marriage. The difference is the full effort and complete devotion Josh gives not only to the church and God, but to his wife. That is the key to any good marriage, regardless of whatever personal obstacles one has to overcome. In the case of my friend, who was convinced that he “wasn’t acting upon the temptation” because he didn’t engage in sexual activity, he was indulging in pornography – gay pornography. As you know, porn is poison. And I personally believe that viewing it is a form of infidelity. So, while the rebuttal I read was moving and sad, it revealed a fatal flaw in their marriage – infidelity. Infidelity to God and to each other. It is very unfortunate.

    I’m so glad Josh’s post went viral. We have heard and continue to hear so many stories like my friend and too few like Josh’s. (Also, if you google Ty Mansfield, his is a similar story.) There are, in fact, many stories like them in the LDS church and in many other faiths. These stories are a legitimate part of the discussion and need to be heard.

    Thank you for mentioning this in your blog. BTW, I love the unicorn pic!

  • http://cavetrollhead.livejournal.com Phillip Hall

    The Mormon church is definitely NOT evolving on the issue. The church has always preached tolerance, love and non-judgement, and Weeds story is a manifestation of exactly what the church wants for every Gay person.

    • http://joey.mimweddings.com/Blog JoeyDG

      Everyone has sinned in their own ways or struggles with their own temptations. No sin or flaw justifies another. Some actions have the potential and likelihood to result in greater or more serious consequences than others. Some actions aren’t just about the results we or others experience in this life, but are also about the afterlife. Embracing or ignoring sin is not a virtue.

      Mormons are often the most loving, service-prone, charitable, understanding, long-suffering, and tolerant people you’ll meet – even if you’re trying to overcome sin or the desire for sin. Although it’s heartbreaking to me that Josh Weed would consider himself a homosexual (while in a dedicated marriage to his wife), I’m also impressed that he has the perspective and strength that he does. He understands love and how to appropriately express it. He exercises the same restraint that any other person has to deal with – whether dealing with sexual or other temptations. He brings life to this scripture found in the Book of Mormon.

      Mosiah 3:19
      19 For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.

      The full blessing of that is not just the benefits realized in this life, but the prize at the end:

      Revelation 3:21
      21 To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne.

      Josh Weed isn’t unique in bearing temptation – and as he embraces spiritual things and does his part to have a stronger conversion, God will fulfill His promises. Just like a child might hate spicy food as a child, and love spicy food as an adult, I have had the same change of heart towards sin and God. For anyone struggling with any temptation, know that it can get better and easier, and it can go away completely. You can become so immune, that you can be a source of support to others who are struggling.

      See 2 Corinthians 5:17, Luke 22:32, and Daniel 12:3

    • Kay Stephens

      I am a member of the LDS Church and am glad also that Josh has come out and is being recognized. Personally I understand that we as a people along with the rest of the people in the world are evolving and I very much hope getting better. Things do keep changing, because they need to change for the better. I believe that Jesus Christ leads this Church and that our prophet is his voice. We are given the intelegence that we are able to bear no more and no less. The Church has always been complete and we as people are working to get there.

  • Laura

    the truth is that Latter Day Saint Christians can believe that marriage is between one man and one woman and still be loving, compassionate and supportive of those who are gay. This really is no surprise to those of us in this Church. we love Jesus. we love others. Period. You may have seen the recent article in the Washington Post on how hundreds of Latter Day Saints marched in the PRIDE parade in SLCACULPULCO holding signs saying things like, ” Love your Neighbor as Yourself.”. I think The Weeds are remarkably courageous for sharing and opening themselves up to our speculation. God bless them both.

  • Laura

    that should say SLC . :/

  • Agkcrbs

    The Bible is not only clear, but easily reconfirmed in a self-aware person’s life experience: He who looks after a woman or man to lust after them has committed sin in his heart.

    Are all lust-driven, who choose to label themselves according to gender preference? I think that’s too broad.

    But aside from lust, what does it even mean to be “homosexual”?

    Well, it probably means a multitude of things; it means as many things as there are “homosexuals”. Surely, it’s a willful and hedonistic act for some. Surely, it’s lustful for some. Surely, in one way or another, it has become compulsive and even self-definitive for some. Surely, it’s as depraved as the worst practices of heterosexuality, for some.

    But there’s an entire other end to the spectrum; what do we do with it?

    What does it mean, if a man is attracted to a man? What if a man finds another man physically appealing? What if he admires his features or characteristics? Can men have opinions that other men are handsome?

    Does that make them homosexual? I think you may find people, especially amidst the general instability of youth, who feel the need to entirely socially recalibrate themselves, sometimes at a terrible cost, over just such an innocuous recognition of an ability to perceive male beauty. But others would not so redefine themselves.

    Is homoexuality more than that? Can men be predisposed to the company of other men? Can they feel affection to, attachment to, or even emotional intimacy with other men? If they can, does that make them “homosexual”? Again, I think some people think it does, while others do not.

    A natural revulsion toward women — is that homosexuality, for a man? If it is, I think it connotes another mental health issue entirely. You do not often meet normal heterosexuals who are disgusted with their own gender; it’s not a requirement to detest one in order to prefer the other.

    Is homosexuality more? Is it really just essentially sexual? Is it merely lustful, some overloaded, fetish-like craving for arousal and orgasm? Well, over-arousal is quite a sin enough no matter whom or what it’s directed toward, and should be the subject of every civilised person’s practice of self-control so they may avoid the imprisonment that awaits those who can’t govern or constrain their appetites and actions within society’s demands. Physical arousal is a learnable and controllable reaction — or so presumes our law that penalises its misuse.

    Among these and other reasons convincing a man to realign his relationships, beliefs, and politics in order to justify whatever form of attraction he has toward his own gender, are there any obstacles between him and a productive marriage to a wife? No, there are not. Physical non-reproducability is clearly delimited from mental or social infertility. Throughout history, those with same-gender tendencies have recognised that family creation necessitates a marriage between genders. Even now, unchanging Biology looks on from a corner, clearing its throat as definitions of family fluctuate.

    Then, what has Josh Weed done? Only taken the most intelligent pathway in front of him, separating his preference of gender from his preferences of spiritual and family fulfillment. As he (and his church) understands it, he is not harbouring or inculcating such fleshly desires as would prevent a spiritual conversation of a person of any orientation.

  • Chrystina

    Beautiful article! Like your post points out, we are all tempted. Heterosexual marriages have their temptations as well, with the husband and wife still have to choose to put their marriage first. It’s about choices and I believe the phrase being true to yourself has been manipulated in today’s world with it’s meaning to be doing whatever you want regardless the consequence. Someone that is being true to their true self does the better thing, doesn’t rush off with every desire.
    Beautifully written and heartfelt. Thank you.

  • Joanne

    Honestly, I read Josh’s story on another site and felt nothing but disgust. His story is about *him,* period. If you read the story carefully, the wife says she is “in love” with him, but he never states he is in love with her. Of course. Gay men don’t fall in love with women.

    If Josh really cared his wife, he would have told her to find a heterosexual man who *would* fall in love with her, then love her and her children in a normal, healthy way. Josh is a therapist? And it never occurred to him to encourage his wife to explore why in the world she would want to marry a man who states from the get-go that he feels NO sexual attraction for her? Yes, we all know that marriage is about much more than sexual attraction, but people think it’s normal that a physically healthy couple in their 20s get married and one of the partners has no sexual attraction to the other? There’s nothing normal or wonderful about that, or anything in this story.

    Alot of people are saying this story is beautiful, etc, but if you’re a person in his or her right mind, you would not be okay with your OWN adult daughter (or sister or any woman you care about) coming home and telling you she’s marrying a homosexual.

    • steve

      Some married women, and married men for that matter, have no sexual attraction for their heterosexual spouses. Nothings perfect in this imperfect world.

    • Kristil

      I think anyone who is “digusted” with the Weed’s story has never known anyone close to them who has really struggled with same sex attraction. The anguish a young man (or woman) is tremendous when they are trying to live the gospel of Christ and trying to figure out how they fit in with God’s plan. I love that he is trying to live in accordance to Christ’s teachings and they both have tremdous faith that if they live worthy things will all be sorted out later. I’m not sure where you missed it but I thought it was pretty obvious that he loves his wife.

      I’d also like to address this comment:

      “if you’re a person in his or her right mind, you would not be okay with your OWN adult daughter (or sister or any woman you care about) coming home and telling you she’s marrying a homosexual.”

      We could feel this way about any weakness or past transgression. None of us are perfect and we are bound to make mistakes. If we are following God’s teachings should that make us unworthy to marry a person of our faith?? How can we fault him?? He was honest with his wife about his struggle. Would we be happier if he gave in to his SSA? Or if he decided to never marry and have children? I don’t get it.

      I just wish people were a little more Christ-like and loving toward everyone. I know it’s hard to understand completely without having certain life experiences but I this makes me feel sad for people like you.

    • http://PatrioticMoms.com Marie

      It’s always fascinated me how two people can have what appear to be identical experiences, and come away with totally different perceptions. I believe Josh’s deep love for Lolly shines through in almost every word, sentence, and paragraph he writes. Their love, loyalty, and unity are unusually strong and profound. Their relationship is a beautiful example of nurturing love in a happy and committed marriage.

    • Publius01

      Joanne, I couldn’t disagree more. I have read Josh’s post several times and He not only expresses his love for his wife, but his love oozes from every word. Indeed, in my view, no christian in their right mind should want anything LESS for their daughter than the kind of love that Josh and Lolly describe in their relationship.

      Frankly, if I could be as sure as Lolly’s parents that my daughter’s husband chose her for who she is, rather than for her “sex appeal,” it would save me a LOT of concern and worry. And if I am ever as convinced of my son-in-law’s devotion to God and commitment to be faithful to his commandments as I am of Josh Weed, I will consider myself a very lucky man indeed.

    • Jesus Morales

      Aw gee, thanks for making us Conservatives and/or Christians look like intolerant bigots. Appreciate that!

      Seriously, we all have sinful urges. The fact that he isn’t acting on them is something to be APPLAUDED. Lord knows I have trouble doing the same. I don’t know if I’d agree with all of Mr. Weed’s politics or viewpoints, I’m certainly not a Mormon so there’s a point of difference right there, but I’m glad he’s found love, happiness, and family. He seems to be doing a lot better then some straight people. I would be glad for my daughter to marry someone with that much love, self-control, and graciousness. Plenty of straight men don’t demonstrate those qualities in such abundance.

  • Joanne

    “Gradually, he and Lolly realized they, in fact, were in love.”

    For clarity, I should have copied and pasted this into my post. The first paragraph of my post is partly in response to this (mis)statement.

  • nealqr

    Joann, you seem to be mistaken when you say:

    “If you read the story carefully, the wife says she is “in love” with him, but he never states he is in love with her. Of course. Gay men don’t fall in love with women.”

    Having read the blog twice, I’d say it is quite clear that Josh is in love with Lolly:

    * LOVE is among the list of attributes that make their sex-life fulfilling (despite a lack of sexual attraction on his part)
    * He frequently refers to Lolly as “the love of my life” and “the one I love”
    *And, if that is not enough for you, there is this paragraph: ” I love Lolly Shea. (In my mind, she will always be Lolly Shea, the girl that I’ve known since I was three years old.) I want to be with her for the rest of my life. I want to grow old by her side. I wouldn’t trade her for any human on earth, male or female. She is my best friend, my lover, and my greatest gift. I love her with a love that is undeniable, and anyone that knows us can attest to the fact that our love is real, vibrant and very apparent. Besides my relationship with God himself, she is my everything and nothing that I ever do or receive in my life will ever compare to her and her love for me.”

    So please, next time, before you advise others to read more “carefully”, trying doing so yourself.

  • Joanne

    “I’d say it is quite clear that Josh is in love with Lolly:”

    Yes, Neal, I know Josh writes alot of lovely words, but he does not once say that he is in love with his wife. And it is absurd to think that gay men fall in love with women. My advice stands for people to read carefully. Actually, everything stands that I said in my first post, especially that marrying a gay man is not what any clear-thinking person would want for his or her own daughter.

  • Liz

    Well, I’m thinking Josh is no different than other folks in a committed relationship. Once you’re married, you shouldn’t be attracted to anyone else except your spouse. Ideally, right? So if he’s still scoping out anyone, male or female, that’s a problem he needs to wrestle just like anyone else. I don’t know any “gay people, I know lots of promiscuous or sexually aggressive people, and that might overlap quite a bit. But I see it as being very similar to obesity. Maybe you’re born with a propensity to be obese, or gay, or whatever it might be, but what you consume has a lot to do with how much of a problem it ultimately becomes. It’s socially undesirable, but makes you no less a child of God and worthy of the respect due to any human being. Just don’t expect others to celebrate or endorse it. And remember, everyone is expected to control their sexual urges in public, whether you’re straight or gay. I think it is vital to a civilized society, so I’m not looking to grant anyone exceptions. It’s definitely a put off when anyone defines themselves primarily by their sexual preferences and activities. I’d like for society to move away from this crassness. I still think it’s a private matter.

  • Liz

    Now I actually read the blog post. Nice enough folks, and something I definitely would have kept private, but then again I am something of a social coward. Since we are being such an open society that holds little sacred anymore. . . . I, by the way, am sexually attracted to chocolate. The movement to change the definition of marriage in my favor has not really gained much traction yet, but I would support a candidate that broadens the definition of marriage to include a loving relationship between a dark chocolate truffle and a woman.

    • Kristen

      Will the dark chocolate truffle survive your relationship? ;p

  • Lee Stokes

    The official LDS policy on Same-sex attraction: http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/official-statement/same-gender-attraction. It’s rather lengthy, so the summary is this. The rule is the same for every member of the Church, male or female; no sexual relations outside of marriage and complete fidelity within. In other words, no fornication and no adultery. Engaging in those actions may expose the individual to Church Sanctions–including excommunication. A heterosexual who is attracted to someone not his or her spouse will not be excommunicated though engaging in sexual relations may result in excommunication. At the same time, it probably isn’t wise to always be looking but not touching or cataloging attributes–that can lead to lust which in turn can lead to sin. There’s also this: As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. Someone may be very angry with someone but will not lose his or her church membership while a murderer will. Someone with Same Sex attraction who does not act on that attraction may serve in any calling in the Church other than the few such where marriage is a requirement such as Bishop.

  • MEv

    Nancy,

    Thank you for linking to Josh and Lolly’s story — certainly the most thought provoking read I have had in a long time.

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  • Bookgal1977

    “The Club Unicorn post is shocking to liberals precisely because their have a complete blindness to the true nature of faithful people in America.”

    I can’t speak for the liberals in America. I can only speak for this liberal. I don’t find this shocking at all. I find it all to commonly sad.
    Josh has made a choice in his life based on his faith. That’s absolutely his business. and no one elses.
    But I personally see this as a perfect example of why religion can go so very very wrong.
    What his religion is telling him is the equivalent of saying “We know you are a human being. But if you believe in our ways, you must act as a duck. Marry a duck. Have some ducklings. Yes, yes we know deep down in your heart you wish for a human mate, but that’s temptation. Live as God wants to be be…never mind he made you as a human. You just be a duck and everything will be okay.

    I’m glad this story got out. I’m glad that Josh told it. I think its one of the clearest examples of how deeply religion can get into a person and turn them against themselves so well, that they cannot risk letting themselves even recognize it.

    We are not blind to the true nature of this kind of faith. We are very very aware of how it blinds people to themselves and to the world.

    My heart goes to him. And my heart especially goes to his wife.

    • Agkcrbs

      Spoken like one who’s never struggled against their own weaker nature, and one who hasn’t even yet entertained the possibility that they may have a better nature than complete gratification and appeasement of every whim.
      Does the flesh always choose rightly? Is every desire every person ever has always correct, merely because they have it?
      No; surely you’ll admit the utter nonsense of such absolutism. The struggle against immature indulgence marks every admirable life. But why denigrate religion, freely chosen by the forward-minded, for offering all of its believers a choice of self-control, a choice of freedom from the circumstance of physical cravings? How is self-determination amidst any number of errant chemical urges so “very, very wrong” in your mind?
      It’s self-evident by his continued pursuit of it that Josh Weed has derived a great deal of joy from his path of having a family with a woman he has come to deeply cherish for non-libidinous reasons. He makes no apology for his choice, but contrarily defends it against scoffers. Your failure (or refusal) to process the validity of his life decisions, and your inferences of his blindness if he doesn’t submit to live purely by instinct, or by strict obedience to the dictates of a monolithic homosexual culture that would claim total domination of his loyalties as it has over so many others, seems to convey “shock” in spite of your denial of shock.
      You may derisively pretend to understand the true nature of such faith, but when it brings joy, devotion, humility, and gratitude out of one person but only scornful pity out of you, there’s still something you’re not getting. You have not disproven French’s observation, Bookgal.

  • Jesus Morales

    A nice post. Unfortunately my mind is too wrapped up in politics, where would Josh stand I wonder on the marriage amendments so many states have passed?

    It’s a great post and has got me thinking a lot though. I hate talking about the whole SSM issue because it is easy to sound judgmental which is entirely not the point. I do my best to love everyone as we all have sinned. However, I can’t in good conscience condone sin or encourage someone to live in it. That is the exact opposite of showing Christian love. “Hey, you’re on a road that leads to Hell, keep it up!” On the other hand, I don’t want to turn people away. How do you make it clear where you stand on an issue without alienating them?

    I guess someone could say just don’t bring that kind of thing up but with the politically charged climate in this world, how can you avoid it? I’m not going to keep silent on an important for fear of offending someone. So, it’s a good post and something that we all need to ponder. I’m really happy for him that he’s found love and has a beautiful family. I want to show love to everyone I can, but what is the best way to do that?

  • Joanne

    “And my heart especially goes to his wife.”

    Hi, bookgal: I’m definitely not a liberal and I love my religion, but – it’s stunning to me how few people who read this story (on this blog and others) think about this person’s wife. Like, that she’s a real human being and it is absolutely in no way emotionally healthy or normal for a woman to marry a man who states he has no sexual attraction to her. One commenter on another site noted correctly that Lolly was the consolation prize at her own wedding. Josh’s ridiculous and self-centered question vis a vis marriage, “Am I worth it?” speaks volumes about him and this “marriage.”


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