Allow me to speak Macaca for a moment.
Aishwarya is said to be a manglik. This means she was born at a time when “Mars [was] in the 2nd, 4th, 7th, 8th, or 12th house of the Vedic astrology lunar chart.”
If two mangliks get married, it’s ok.
But if a manglik marries a non-manglik, all hell breaks loose.
Guess what Abhishek is…?
According to some *brilliant* astrologers, the marriage of a manglik girl and non-manglik boy could result in the death of the male. Because, you know, Mars is evil like that.
(Oh, it gets better.)
How do you fix this problem?
Aishwarya will have to marry a tree.
A peepal tree or a banana tree. Well, either that, or she’ll have to marry Lord Vishnu’s idol. But only if the idol is made of gold or silver. (Incidentally, Vishnu is said to have been born under a peepal tree. So this makes complete sense…)
Got all that?
This ceremony, called a Kumbh Vivah, is performed for manglik girls, but not manglik boys. Because as we all know, the position of the planets doesn’t affect the Y chromosome. Duh.
Apparently, Indian parents have one hell of a time trying to marry off their manglik-born daughters.
And for the record, Shaadi.com asked me if I was a manglik.
But I didn’t know how to answer that… because I have a &*%#ing brain.
(Do you want to be depressed? Read some of the comments on this thread.)
And you thought a Scientologist wedding was all f’ed up…
So, once again, there you go, mom and dad. This is why I probably won’t end up with an Indian girl.
[tags]Macaca, Indian, American, Desi, atheist, atheism, Bollywood, Miss World, Aishwarya Rai, Abhishek Bachchan, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, manglik, Mars, Vedic, astrology, lunar chart, marry, marriage, peepal tree, banana tree, Lord Vishnu, Kumbh Vivah, Shaadi.com, Scientologist[/tags]