Best Republican Presidential Candidate?

Jim Gerard at the Huffington Post has an idea of who the Republican candidate should be:

God — and I’m talking about the wrathful, Old Testament Lord, not Jesus or the Holy Ghost – is the perfect Republican candidate.

He then gives a list of reasons why God should be the GOP’s pick.

For example, His near 80% approval rating.

Why else is God the best choice?

… there is no better candidate to carry the Republican’s fear-based message than the omnipotent power who threatens fire and brimstone whenever mortals displease him.

When it comes to projecting bellicosity, God makes McCain and Giuliani look like a couple of candy-assed flower children. He’s the uber-hawk.

I suppose God on the ticket would just cut out the current middlemen…

But I’m still voting for Obama.


[tags]atheist, atheism, God, Barack Obama, Jim Gerard, Huffington Post, Republican, Old Testament, Jesus, Holy Ghost, GOP, John McCain, Rudy Giuliani[/tags]

  • Mriana

    I’m voting Obama too! :D He’s the best man for the job IMHO. GO OBAMA!

  • Miko

    But we all know that once a person announces an intention to run for public office, the media begins an intense search into his/her past in an attempt to smear him/her with anything imaginable. With the number of murders, etc. in his past, there’s no way that God would be a viable candidate.

    (I’m voting Edwards. He has some interesting ideas on fighting poverty, among other important goals.)

  • http://www.blakeclan.org/jon/greenoasis/ Jonathan Blake

    I know it’s a humor piece, but I think we’re not giving Jesus enough credit for being a bad ass. Christianity made the fire and brimstone hell popular. Not a word of it in the Old Testament (that I’m aware of). Credit where credit is due.

  • http://atheisthussy.blogspot.com/ Intergalactic Hussy

    LOL.
    I’m Obama all the way, too! Unless Gore enters late.

  • http://www.matsonwaggs.wordpress.com Kelly

    That is hilarious. I don’t know if God would make it-can you imagine God vs. Hillary? Now, that would be an interesting race!

  • Darryl

    Hillary vs. God? I put my money on Hillary–she knows how to fight dirty.

  • Darryl

    Can you picture the negative ads slamming God? Holy crap!

  • Darryl

    Hillary vs. God attack ad:

    [cue pastoral soundtrack] “Yes, God is all peace and love when things are going His way, but cross Him [cue soundtrack from Psycho ] and watch out!
    [cue menacing soundtrack] Just ask Adam. He ran afoul of this politician and found out the hard way what “vengeance is Mine” really means. But, don’t just take his word for it; ask the thousands of regular people that have gotten on the wrong side of ‘The Big Man Upstairs’ and lived to regret it.

    That’s right.
    [stinger:] God: Do you really want this Hothead with his hand on the launch button? Think about it.

    [sotto voce:] Paid for by the Hillary in ’08 campaign committee.

  • Siamang

    God’s got the bigger warchest, and He can always go back to His donors and get more funding for attack ads by threatening Oral Roberts’ life again.

  • Maria

    hilarious. So I’m assuming this guy writing this calls himself a Christian, but he doesn’t even think Jesus should be the candidate! Lovely. OT God? How about no thanks? How ridiculous can you get. I’m voting for Obama too, I really hope he makes it onto the ticket. There’s just something about him that comes across to me as very likeable, and I like his ideas in general.

  • HappyNat

    I wouldn’t vote for the Christian God unless he promised me something really cool, like a unicorn to take to work. “Vote for God, get a unicorn” would be a tough campaign to beat.

    I don’t know who I’m voting for, I’ll wait for the herd to thin a bit, but I like Richardson from what I’ve heard from him (especially his experience in the ME). Of course I may just write in the FSM.

  • Lee

    Hmmm… perhaps the Devil should also run. Or perhaps the Dark Prince could be God’s running mate.
    Picture the paradox that fundys would be up against if God were running with Lucifer as his VP pick.

  • Infideljoe

    Does god have enough money to get in the race?

  • Siamang

    Picture the paradox that fundys would be up against if God were running with Lucifer as his VP pick.

    I don’t think Cheney can run again.

  • http://emergingpensees.blogspot.com/ Mike C

    Hmmm… perhaps the Devil should also run. Or perhaps the Dark Prince could be God’s running mate.

    I think Unity08 is already trying this strategy.

  • http://emergingpensees.blogspot.com/ Mike C

    I don’t think Cheney can run again.

    ROTFLMAO!

  • http://emergingpensees.blogspot.com/ Mike C

    But God (even the OT God) couldn’t be the GOP nominee – he’s pro-immigration, pro-poor, anti-big business, and is basically a Socialist. Not to mention that he’s a little too friendly with the Jews to be a Republican.

  • Maria

    Hmmm… perhaps the Devil should also run. Or perhaps the Dark Prince could be God’s running mate.
    Picture the paradox that fundys would be up against if God were running with Lucifer as his VP pick

    LOL, good point

    But God (even the OT God) couldn’t be the GOP nominee – he’s pro-immigration, pro-poor, anti-big business, and is basically a Socialist. Not to mention that he’s a little too friendly with the Jews to be a Republican

    LOL

  • Lee

    Picture the paradox that fundys would be up against if God were running with Lucifer as his VP pick.

    I don’t think Cheney can run again.

    Siamang, you are too funny. But you make an excellent point.

  • http://normanhooben.blogspot.com/ Norm

    From the first time I heard about the boogey-man as a child
    to the first time I got shot at in Vietnam, nothing in my entire
    lifetime, THAT’S NOTHING! has put more fear into me than
    this man Obama, nothing!


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