Where the Party’s At

Looks like Washington D.C. is the place to go for a hedonistically good time.

Time to celebrate Atheistfest!

What is Atheistfest? The yearly meetings (held just after the fourth of July) conducted by the godless for the purposes of worshipping Satan, sacrificing cats, having group sex, and making blood pacts with our glorious father, Lucifer.

I wonder why these atheists would do such a thing…

Why do we do all this? We conduct ourselves so because we are atheists and have no moral standards, and it is common knowledge that without an angry sky spirit in the clouds, looking down on us and telling us what to do, reminding us that he will torture us if we get out of line, we humans are so recklessly base and primal that we’re bound to do the stuff we atheists do—like invite college-age kids back to our places with the lure of alcohol and porn, where we subdue them, torture them, and consume their flesh in place of a far too ordinary Nighthawk Steak Dinner.

But, even if you don’t believe in God, shouldn’t you atheists find at least a few reasons to live good and moral lives?

Now you might be saying, “Even if you don’t believe in God, shouldn’t you atheists find at least a few reasons to live good and moral lives?” Nope, there are none! You might think we would learn to love and be happy and have some sense of compassion, but we never do. For some strange reason, we became villainous vipers the very moment we embraced atheism. No one can explain why, but every ounce of goodness suddenly left us, even our home-raising and good manners! Poof! Went right out the window, flew away—all of it, just like that!

Wow. Incredible.

More on Atheistfest ’07 here.

I wonder how long it will take before a religious website takes this posting seriously…


[tags]atheist, atheism, Washington D.C., Atheistfest, God, Satan, Lucifer[/tags]

  • Mriana

    Unbelievable! Surely they can do better than that. :(

    (no, my comp is still down, but my son hopes to have the part, work on it, and have it going before he leaves town next week. I’m dying. :( I’ll live though.)

  • http://www.quirklife.com Amy

    That’s funny. It is silly for people to think that atheists can’t have moral veiws just because their atheists. Sadly, alot of people do. I know some people around here think that way.

  • HappyNat

    Sounds like a good time, these are the benefits my atheist recruiter promised me!

  • Darryl

    Damn, how did they manage to peg me so well? I thought nobody knew.

  • Brendon Lake

    That’s funny. It is silly for people to think that atheists can’t have moral veiws just because their atheists. Sadly, alot of people do. I know some people around here think that way.

    The big question I see is, since the Bible is the basis for morallity and ethics as we know them, say we get rid of the Bible, then where do we get our morality from then?
    Most people ignore what the Bible teaches and so the world has become a chaotic mess.

  • Susan

    What is Atheistfest? The yearly meetings (held just after the fourth of July) conducted by the godless for the purposes of worshipping Satan, sacrificing cats, having group sex, and making blood pacts with our glorious father, Lucifer.

    Holding this affair in Washington, D.C. seems a little redundant to me.

  • miller

    Brendon Lake,

    I don’t think that the Bible is the only basis for morality for anyone. You must admit that there is a wide range of “lessons” that you can take from the Bible. Even if you think none of these morals contradict each other, you must still use your judgement to choose exactly how to interpret them, and which to emphasize. Not to mention the choice you make to place your faith in the Bible in the first place. Upon what is this judgement based? Isn’t that the true source of morality rather than the Bible?

    But people will disagree on exactly what that source is. Is it rational self-interest? Is it societal norms? Is it biological programming? I’m sure there are lots of other ideas going around too.

  • Brendon Lake

    I don’t think that the Bible is the only basis for morality for anyone.

    I didn’t say the Bible is the only basis for morality.
    I do agree that much care must be taken to interpret what the Bible says correctly. If you care to look through the Bible, you will find many instances in which you can clarify a verse you have read with other verses which shed more light on the subject.

    The Bible can be faithfully used to interpret itself, it is up to us how far we will follow what it says. This does not change the fact that the Bible is the source, if we deviate from it we are creating a faulty morality.

    The Bible is beautiful in its simplicity and awesome in its complexity. To properly understand it, it is neccesary not to try and make it fit our own theories on what it says, but to be open to what it is trying to tell us.

  • Miko

    This does not change the fact that the Bible is the source, if we deviate from it we are creating a faulty morality.

    The fact that I haven’t heard about any stonings in the U.S. recently suggests that we do indeed deviate quite far from the Bible and none but the craziest of fundamentalists would claim that not stoning people often enough is a moral problem.

  • Jen

    I give it three days before some conservative blog posts this as proof that we eat babies.

  • Eliza

    The fact that I haven’t heard about any stonings in the U.S. recently suggests that we do indeed deviate quite far from the Bible and none but the craziest of fundamentalists would claim that not stoning people often enough is a moral problem.

    And people are so blatant these days in ignoring the Biblical guidelines on how to acquire and treat slaves. Tsk, tsk, no wonder the world is so much more barbaric than it used to be.

  • Darryl

    Brendon, meaning no disrespect, you seem to be someone who hasn’t read enough books beside the Bible. There is no self-interpreting book. You bring your assumptions to everything you read. How do you think there has come to be so many differing interpretations? The more you learn about everything but the Bible the more you will come to question it. Speaking of morality, take a look at Hammurabi’s Code. You can work outward from there. Examine what non-fundamentalist Biblical Scholars have to say. They will enlighten you about the Bible and many other things.

  • HappyNat

    The fact that I haven’t heard about any stonings in the U.S. recently suggests that we do indeed deviate quite far from the Bible and none but the craziest of fundamentalists would claim that not stoning people often enough is a moral problem.

    And people are so blatant these days in ignoring the Biblical guidelines on how to acquire and treat slaves. Tsk, tsk, no wonder the world is so much more barbaric than it used to be.

    Good point, but I think the real problem with the world is we now treat woman equally, unlike we are taught in the bible. Some people even let woman lead religious services! Those crazy sinners! Don’t they know we are “creating a faulty morality”?

  • miller

    Brendon, there is an apparent contradiction in what you say.

    I didn’t say the Bible is the only basis for morality.

    This does not change the fact that the Bible is the source, if we deviate from it we are creating a faulty morality.

    If the Bible isn’t the only basis for morality, then deviating from the Bible doesn’t necessarily lead to a faulty morality, since people can draw morality from those other sources.
    So anyways, there’s the answer to your original question. I can’t say I’m interested in participating in the discussion about the flaws in the Bible.


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