In That Order?

Today is all baseball.

The Washington Post reports the following about the Nationals baseball team:

Reliever Jesus Colome remained in a hospital yesterday with an infection on his right buttock, though GM Jim Bowden said he would get out today. The Nationals don’t know when Colome, 4-0 with a 2.76 ERA in 40 appearances, will be able to pitch. “It’s a serious situation,” Bowden said. “We pray for his buttocks and his family.”

As Arnold at Balance and Paradox humorously puts it:

If the prayer is answered, does that mean we can say that God saved his a**?


[tags]atheist, atheism, Washington Post, Washington Nationals, Jesus Colome, Jim Bowden[/tags]

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  • Richard Wade

    Well, I suppose it could have been worse. There are even more indelicate places he could have had an infection. Then the prayers might not be so specific.

    The patient’s first name brings up some possibilities for mirth. Headline: Prayer saves Jesus’s Ass!

  • Karen

    “We pray for his buttocks and his family.”

    Sounds like someone’s got their priorities “bass-ackwards.”

  • Eliza

    How about praying for the antibiotics to be bacteriocidal, & that they not be confounded by any Satanic, I mean genetic, mechanisms of drug resistance…

  • Logos

    “We pray for his buttocks and his family.”
    is that like saving his ass?

    get it?

  • Yup, I get it!


  • Darryl

    No comedian on Earth can write better material. Jeeeeeezzzuuuussss! Damn what a country!!!!

  • Rob

    So he has a, “soft tissue infection in a right lower extremity.”

    Baseball and religion go hand-in-hand, in 1980, KC Royals GM Joe Burke offered his best to George Brett when he said that “It’s a severe situation. We call on the Almighty on behalf of his hemorrhoid-infested anal cavity, and for his wife and children.”

    And in 1994, Phillies GM Ed Wade said of John Kruk: “The situation is critical. We ask God’s blessings on his cancer-riddled testicle, and for his loved ones.”

    As Emo Philips said, “When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.”