What Did You Just Call Me?

I want to believe Greg Gutfeld is joking… but this is FOXNews, so I could be wrong.

Even if he is attempting humor, you wonder why no one else picked up on this…

This was his monologue from Friday’s episode of Red Eye w/Greg Gutfeld:

Thank God it’s Friday! But how can you have “TGIF,” if there’s no “G”?

I mean: What if there was no God? Then what would you say? Thank Bob it’s Friday? Thank Dick it’s Friday?

It just doesn’t fly.

That’s because whether you like it or not, God is here to stay. He’s not going anywhere. And, He is a He. If God were a woman, we wouldn’t have pornography or at least, good pornography, like Barely Legal.

Still, you can’t go anywhere these days without stepping in an atheist. Atheism is the ultimate conceit: Over-educated blobs of imperfect protoplasm elevating themselves to divine status by saying that they accept their role as the universe’s highest life form.

Boiled down: “There is no God, because if there were, I’d be him.”

Really, it’s like a Microsoft Word program that evolves to a point where it can say, “Gates is dead.” That’s an atheist.

You can say natural selection is the process, but that fails to address who created natural selection, or why humans create stuff to begin with.

Human beings are unique: born with the internal questions of how and why. We could say that came from spontaneous order, but tell that to a dolphin. Last time I checked, those disgusting date-rapists haven’t built a church, much less gone to one.

And that’s my gut feeling.

First of all, TGIF = Thank Goodness It’s Friday. Was that so hard?

Now, what about all this name calling?

  • A blob? Did he just call me fat…? *sniff*
  • A Microsoft Word program? That’s just cruel.
  • A date-rapist?! I’m not sure if that comment is directed at the dolphins or atheists. But in any case, to associate people who have not been to church (or built one) with date-rapists, or to call them disgusting…. that’s downright offensive. If he had been talking about Jews throughout the monologue, you know it would be the most watched clip on YouTube and Gutfeld would be begging to get his job back. But he’s talking about atheists during the piece, so he gets away with it.

(Click on “Watch Greg’s Greg-alogue” to see the video)

(Thanks to Demented Blog for the link)

(***Update: This piece has been edited since the initial posting***)

(***Update 2: Globalizati points out that at least Gutfeld referred to atheists as “Over-educated blobs” :)***)


[tags]atheist, atheism, Greg Gutfeld, FoxNews, Red Eye w/Greg Gutfeld, God, pornography, Microsoft Word, Bill Gates, natural selection, evolution, hate speech, Jew, Greg-alogue[/tags]

  • http://globalizati.wordpress.com globalizati

    I thought the date-rapist thing was directed at the dolphins. Maybe Greg had a bad experience in college?

    Over-educated blobs

    Well, at least he got out ahead of us by noting that atheism correlates with higher education levels… But what level of education is “over-educated” to someone anchoring Fox News? 9th grade?

  • http://michaeldepaula.com Michael DePaula

    This guy is just an ignorant ass.

    How about just saying, “I’m glad it’s Friday!”? And how does one become “overeducated”? Is that a bad thing? And what the hell does “stepping in an atheist” mean?

    This guy has some serious brain deficiencies and self-esteem issues to work on.

  • Maria

    oh my goodness, how insulting. I can’t believe he actually compared atheists to date rapists. seriously, people need to protest. that’s just downright mean.

  • http://synapostasy.blogspot.com Aaron

    “… that fails to address who created natural selection…”

    Here’s to not understanding science! *drink*

    Yeah, the date-rapist thing was directed at the dolphins. Even if there’s a subtle tie-in to us atheists there, he won’t be called on it.

    FACT: Humans and dolphins are the only two animal species known to enjoy having sex with dolphins.

  • http://friendlyatheist.com FriendlyAtheist

    Well, at least he got out ahead of us by noting that atheism correlates with higher education levels… But what level of education is “over-educated” to someone anchoring Fox News? 9th grade?

    Hmm… I missed the “over-educated” bit. Funny stuff.

    Regarding the date-raping comment, I updated the piece to reflect the dolphin connection. Thanks to Globalizati and Aaron for the quick responses.

  • http://laurieruettimann.com Laurie

    This is the kind of stuff that makes me scream JESUS CHRIST.

  • http://laurieruettimann.com Laurie

    PS – I mean JESUS CHRIST in an atheist way, of course. I just felt compelled to clarify that. :)

  • Gadren

    I’m not sure if this is meant to be completely serious… apparently Greg Gutfeld is a writer for the Huffington Post. O_o

  • http://off-the-map.org/atheist/ Siamang

    So the guy who used to edit Maxxim and Stuff magazines thinks I’m overeducated.

    At least I’m smart enough not to buy that crap.

    They have a magazine that’s all pictures of electronics, cars and mostly naked women…

    Isn’t that what the internet’s for? Jeez, no wonder their circulation’s in the toilet.

    I never stop to be amazed at the classist republican groupthink bots who still think it’s possible to be overeducated. What could that possibly mean?

    Ever since we discovered that education was the key to social mobility, the moneyed oligarchs use every trick to keep the average guy down. “Overeducated” is their idea of an insult!

    Oh, and he forgot to tell a joke.

  • Richard Wade

    This guy’s really deep. And pious too. He proves God’s gender with porn, thinks porn featuring models who look underage is good porn, worships God only on Fridays, (maybe by looking at good porn?) thinks anyone more educated than him is “over-educated,” (which apparently includes most people) thinks atheists think they are God, (which doesn’t make any sense) compares evolution to a word program, and if his bizarre rambling at the end can be decoded, thinks that dolphins are date rapists who should build and attend their own churches. Then he signs off with his “gut feeling.”

    Oh, now that part is very correct and astute. We all know what’s in a gut, especially the last half of it.

  • Richard Wade

    They have a magazine that’s all pictures of electronics, cars and mostly naked women…
    Isn’t that what the internet’s for?

    There are pictures of electronics and cars on the internet??

  • Stephen

    Thank God it’s Friday! But how can you have “TGIF,” if there’s no “G”?

    And how can you have Friday if there’s no Freya?

  • Lee

    Hmmm…. wonder how many derogatory descriptions we can come up with for believers? After all, they do offer us so much more fodder with their self-righteous follies than any atheist can offer.
    Believers are:
    1. Supertitious sloths who are either completely uneducated or simply educated beyond their intellectual capabilities (case in point: the Creation Museum).
    2. Child-molesting priests (needs no explanation)
    3. War-mongering psychopaths with a bent toward theocratic politics (Bush – and many other Republicans)
    4. Bigoted, sexist, child-beating morons with a moral compass that points south (Too many headlines to name)
    5. Arrogant egocentrists who disguise their agenda to undermine the beliefs of others under the cloak of philanthropy (Missionaries)
    6. Self-loathing closet homosexuals (another that needs no explanation)
    7. Pew-hopping, rafter-swinging, tongue-talking, schizophrenics who claim to have a direct dialogue with a non-existent deity (God told me. God made me do it. I am God. I am Christ. vis a vis David Koresh and others of his ilk).
    8. Nutcases that target and recruit children for God’s Army of Death (Jesus Camp)

    Feel free to add your own. The main difference between Greg Gutfeld’s assessment of atheists and my assessment of beleivers is that he cannot validate any of his statements, and all of those I’ve named have been validated (and then some) in the news headlines, or even in film.

  • BP

    Long runing UK TV show TFI Friday (Thank Fuck It’s Friday)

  • http://mollishka.blogspot.com mollishka

    And how can you have Friday if there’s no Freya?

    You could always use Venus, a la vendredi.

  • mpz

    Personally, I’ll go with “Thank fuck it’s Friday.”

  • Tammy

    Thanks for the morning laugh, you all:)
    I never even heard of this douchebag before-anyways, what’s wrong with “Thank Goodness…”?

  • Susan

    I don’t really see a problem with “Thank God it’s Friday”. It’s a figure of speech that is used to express relief that the weekend is near, without regard to its original, literal meaning. I mean, if something goes wrong and I yell “shit!” that doesn’t mean I expect to require a restroom immediately!

    Excellent point about Freya, though. Funny how people never seem to complain about the names of the days of the week…

  • Richard Wade

    Maybe somebody should tell Gutfeld that “Thank God it’s Friday is not from the Bible.

    “And he brought forth a lamb that was perfect and without blemish, and sacrificed it to the Lord, saying “Praise be to you O Lord, that it is Friday!”

  • http://off-the-map.org/atheist/ Siamang

    Stephan said:

    “And how can you have Friday if there’s no Freya?”

    Now that just proves the overeducated part, right there.

    (Definition of overeducated: knowing anything that Gutfeld doesn’t know.)

  • Brendon

    You can say natural selection is the process, but that fails to address who created natural selection, or why humans create stuff to begin with.

    Human beings are unique: born with the internal questions of how and why. We could say that came from spontaneous order, but tell that to a dolphin

    Sure this guy seems to be kidding around a bit, but I think the above quote does make a very interesting point.
    It may be quite easy to just dismiss the article but I think thats shying away from some good food for thought.

    PS Lee chill out! Do you have to take things so personal?

  • http://www.thenewatheist.org BK

    Did he really say this ?!?!?:

    That’s because whether you like it or not, God is here to stay. He’s not going anywhere. And, He is a He. If God were a woman, we wouldn’t have pornography or at least, good pornography, like Barely Legal. [emphasis added]

    Aside from the stupid woman bashing, I was under the impression the right wing neo-conservatives think all porn is bad. So, Jebus thinks Barely Legal is totally cool? It’s good? Maybe I can get along with these guys.

  • Claire

    Personally, I thank the labor unions it’s Friday. Their efforts are how and why we have Saturdays off (although TTLUIF is a bit cumbersome). Still, it’s nice to have someone to be grateful to who actually DID the work.

  • http://off-the-map.org/atheist/ Siamang

    They’re called “South Park” Republicans. They’re Republicans that don’t care for the puritan moral streak, but like the other ideas republicans have.

    In other words, they’re for lap-dances and capital gains tax cuts.

    Like some senators I could mention.

  • Richard Wade

    Personally, I thank the labor unions it’s Friday. Their efforts are how and why we have Saturdays off (although TTLUIF is a bit cumbersome). Still, it’s nice to have someone to be grateful to who actually DID the work.

    Thank you, Claire, for giving credit where it’s due. (standing up and applauding)


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X