Evangelical Softball

It’s real. How much fun with wordplay can you have with this one?

… it doesn’t matter if a base runner is safe—so much as if he’s saved.

What are the rules for Evangelical Softball?

  • In the Cape Cod (Mass.) Evangelical Church Softball League, players become ineligible if they don’t attend two Sunday services a month.
  • In eastern Massachusetts, teams in the evangelical league are limited to three “unsaved” players each—and must turn in a roster specifically highlighting them as such before the start of the season, so that others in the congregation can pray for their salvation and mail literature to their homes. (The rulebook cautions that “‘Outreach Players’ should not be selected for their athletic ability,” but rather for their genuine interest in finding Christ.)
  • The rulebook of the Stateline Evangelical Softball League in Rockford, Ill., requires long pants at all times; in especially hot weather, shorts are OK only if both managers agree—and only, the rulebook notes in red type, if they are “moderate and knee length.”
  • Stealing is not allowed.

What other quirks might this game have?

Lots of sacrifice bunting.

No suicide squeezes.

Something about how three outs make up a Holy Trinity.

My atheist friend Neil adds this: “They’re swinging at nothing.” :)

(Thanks to Lee for the link!)


[tags]atheist, atheism, church, softball, evangelical, Christian, Cape Cod Evangelical Church Softball League, Christ, Stateline Evangelical Softball League[/tags]

  • Darryl

    Nothing surprises or impresses me about evangelical Christians. Evangelical Christians mean well . . . well, most of them, anyway. But, because of the stuff they believe, they end up being real assholes–from the perspective of life in general. I speak from years of experience, so any of you out there who want to argue, don’t waste your time.

  • Polly

    All those rules have the practical effect of preventing teams from recruiting “ringers.”

  • Maria

    Yes I saw an article about this in Newsweek……..scary…..

  • Karen

    My church had evangelical basketball teams and leagues that were pretty similar to this. The idea was gospel outreach, not exercise or competition or camaraderie or any of those “lesser” things …

  • Jen

    I once got invited to play ball with a church from a woman who gave me a Jack Chick comic. I bet that was the same thing.

  • Lee

    Do ya suppose that grape juice and cardboard-flavored bread wafers are offered to the spectators to drink and eat rather than beer and hot dogs?


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