There are some times when I feel absolutely delighted to be an atheist hidden among thousands of Christians. This is not one of those times.
The name of
his her blog is Leaving Eden.
I used to be a very committed Christian. I was in love with God and full of faith, and I loved my first two years in the community of a Christian college. During my junior year I walked away from Christianity and became an atheist. As I finish out my last year at Wheaton, I’m mostly in the closet, constantly surrounded by Christians and Christianism.
The reasons for my rejection of Christianity and acceptance of atheism are manifold, and I will try to cover all of them in this blog at some point. Ultimately, it is a matter of integrity, of truth. I value truth so much that I had to find it, at the cost of comfort, community, relationships, assurance. Atheism and more specifically naturalism is the most truthful truth I’ve found. (To date, that is. Because truth seekers must constantly examine themselves and guard against complacency, no story is over until it’s over.)
“Leaving Eden” captures the quest for truth at the cost of comfort. If the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil is available, we should always eat from it, no matter the consequences. If the whole world is there, why should we stay in one corner?
I walked across campus today after a conversation that signaled the end of another friendship. Thinking, this is what it feels like to be alone. It sucks.
Though I’m still in the closet, I’m no longer pretending to be a Christian. That means I don’t take part in a large percentage of what goes on on campus. I can feel people mentally shrinking away from me, even people who were perfectly fine with my questioning of Christianity a year ago.
I can’t imagine being in that situation and having to remain in it for several months. But it’s apparent
he’s she’s coming out to his her friends. That’s a good start.
he she knows he she has a huge support group waiting for him her when he she graduates
(via Conversation at the Edge)
[tags]atheist, atheism, Christian, Jesus, God, religion[/tags]