I Love Surprise Magazine Subscriptions

A while back, I started receiving issues of Charisma (+ Christian Life) magazine. I didn’t know who ordered it for me but it was always interesting to see what extremely conservative Christians had to say.

The subscription ended in the middle of last year.

Imagine my surprise when a new issue came in the mail a few days ago (ironically, alongside the new issue of the wonderful magazine Seed). Someone wants me to read this magazine.

So I’m flipping through the pages and I come across this article that is ripping on Rhonda Byrne‘s awful book The Secret:

“The law of attraction doesn’t compute don’t or not or no, or any other words of negation,” Byrne states. The book argues that not wanting a bad haircut is translated as “I want bad haircuts,” and not wanting to catch the flu is the same as saying, “I want the flu, and I want to catch more things.”

If this were true, there would be plane crashes every day because of all the passengers who are hoping and praying that the flight they’re on doesn’t crash.

Hmm… snarky. I like it.

Wait.

Did I just agree with something written in the magazine?

What’s wrong with me?! What happened to the Charisma magazine with columns by James Dobson? What happened to the magazine I could scream at because it outraged me every few seconds?

Thankfully, I turned the page.

Later in the same article, the writer mentioned several reasons we shouldn’t glorify The Secret. Here is number five:

Fifth, Jesus is not pictured by Byrne as the true Secret, the real source for joyful and abundant living. Jesus is not even listed as one of the past teachers of the Secret… Certainly, no one expects a book on car mechanics to focus on Jesus. However, any work or philosophy that deals with human joy and fulfillment, true wealth and life’s tragedies that does not have Jesus at its center has missed the boat.

Oh, Charisma, how I’ve missed you.

(It hasn’t escaped me that Charisma is mad at The Secret for pushing the idea that certain thoughts can actually be responded to by a supernatural agent… I’ll avoid making a pot/kettle remark and move on.)

But wait! It gets better.

There was this article in the news section:

Kicking off on Oct. 26, “I-35 Highway of Holiness” is a 35-day prayer initiative of Light the Highway, a new prayer project led by Mike and Cindy Jacobs, founders of the intercessory ministry Generals International. “2007 makes 40 years since Bible reading was taken out of the schools of America and since the Haight-Ashbury Summer of Love in San Francisco, which loosed every kind of evil sin,” Cindy Jacobs said. “We just feel that in this generation, we are going to reverse that.”

Since the Light the Highway Web site (lightthe highway.org) launched in May, thousands of Christians have signed on to participate in the 35-day prayer effort. The initiative is based on Isaiah 35, which talks about the establishment of a highway of holiness. “We believe that [Interstate] 35 symbolizes Isaiah 35,” Jacobs said.

A handful of events, as well as the networking of 24/7 houses of prayer along I-35, will lead up to Oct. 26. Evangelist Steve Hill and his Heartland School of Ministry will lead an effort called “Radical Evangelism” by driving the length of I-35 while interceding for the U.S. In another effort, Christian youth will participate in “purity sieges”—on-location prayer protests against issues such as pornography and abortion.

“We’re praying for our nation to be holy,” Jacobs said. “We want holiness in Hollywood. We want holiness in our schools and holiness in our churches. At the end of the 35 days of prayer, we’re going to ask God to establish a new holiness movement in the earth, not based on legalism, but on a right heart before God.”

By praying along the highways in their cities, Jacobs said, intercessors can help change the course of nations.

If they pick up some litter while they’re at it, they might make a real difference.

There’s also an editorial that features this excerpt as a large-type blockquote:

Jesus is the only way. There is no Plan B for Jews.

Oh, snap!

And there’s this article that suggests Mike “Raise your hand if you don’t believe in Evolution” Huckabee would make a great president:

Former Gov. Mike Huckabee is undoubtedly a qualified leader. He is a man guided by the principles that have made our nation great: strong states and limited federal government, the family as the secure cornerstone of our society and a strong personal faith.

A great leader will also understand the importance of protecting the most innocent life: the child in the womb. Life must be valued, and its value must be effectively communicated to the women who make life-or-death choices for their children.

The fact that our nation’s science supremacy will go further down the tubes is completely ignored…

I can’t wait till next month… this is a storehouse of amusement.

Thanks to my anonymous subscription donor!


[tags]atheist, atheism[/tags]

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  • http://blueshifted.org Andy

    “We believe that [Interstate] 35 symbolizes Isaiah 35,” Jacobs said.

    You mean, it’s the best thing to come out of Iowa in 50 years? Swing and a miss…

  • Mriana

    “We believe that [Interstate] 35 symbolizes Isaiah 35,” Jacobs said.

    Oh brother! :roll:

    Jesus is the only way. There is no Plan B for Jews.

    May I rant now? Double :roll:

    A great leader will also understand the importance of protecting the most innocent life: the child in the womb. Life must be valued, and its value must be effectively communicated to the women who make life-or-death choices for their children.

    Oh but we can send 18 y.o.’s to their death in Iraq, just so [no] Armegeddon will start. :roll: Their lives are of no consequences if we can MAKE Jesus come back. RIGHT! Like um… since when do WE make a deity do anything?

    The child can be motherless too, is that it? Make her have the baby even if she dies. Doesn’t matter if the mother dies, as long as the baby lives. :roll: Oh but here’s the kicker, sometimes BOTH mother and child die in childbirth, esp in high risk cases. :roll: Oh but that doesn’t matter, does it?

    Sorry, I just could not hold back any longer. :(

  • Richard Wade

    “Christian youth” in “purity sieges?”

    Do they wear brown shirts?

    (Godwin in only 4 comments!)

  • HappyNat

    Fifth, Jesus is not pictured by Byrne as the true Secret,

    Cause nobody has heard of this Jesus person before. We better not let this secret of Jesus get out, somebody might be able to start a major religion around him.

  • Mriana

    Actually, HappyNat, Christianity existed before the current concept of JC. Some thought JC was real and others thought of him as a concept, like the other mystery sects. There were many sects of Christianity that competed with each other in different areas, then Rome took over and became the dominanting sect that turned into what we know today.

  • HappyNat

    Mriana,

    My point was that Jesus is not a secret. I can’t walk down the street, ride the bus, or watch the news without someone bringing him up. I WISH he was more of a secret.

  • Karen

    If they pick up some litter while they’re at it, they might make a real difference.

    Exactly. This is the kind of thing that drives me crazy. When I was still in the fold, evangelicals were always putting huge amounts of time and energy and organization into projects like this!

    Prayer walks, or revival meetings, or prophecy conferences – all that effort and money spent on marketing and creativity going into devising clever catchphrases – but after the project was done they really had no tangible results! They hadn’t made anybody’s life easier, or relieved anybody’s suffering, heck most of the time they hadn’t made any new converts. They’d just made a big splash within the Christian community.

    Of course, you weren’t supposed to point out the lack of practical results, because it was a “spiritual event” and those were more important. Sigh.

  • Mriana

    Oh know the feeling, Nat! :roll:

    Prayer walks, or revival meetings, or prophecy conferences

    Something tells me people understood my humour in the Dawkins’s phone call thread. :lol: