What Does Atheism Mean to Fourth Graders?

Posted on October 12, 2007 by Guest Contributor

The Exterminator got several responses from fourth graders to the prompt “What Atheism Means to Me.”

Like this one:

I go to church every Sunday and when I do I believe in God. He is great. But sometimes when the other kids make fun of me because I stink in sports I don’t think God is so great. Why did He make me stink in sports? I wouldn’t make anybody stink in sports if I was God because people who stink in sports have feelings too. So in church I’m a Christian but when the other kids make fun of me because I stink in sports I’m an athiest.

Or this one:

I am a athiest but my parents are Christains. When I told them I was a athiest they nearly had a heart attack but they did’nt. I’m glad they did’nt but I’m sorry they did’nt get a little bit of a pain some place on their body because they washed my mouth out with soap and that made me throw up. They did it when I told them I was a athiest. They said I did’nt even know what it means, but I do. It means I hate Jesus, that’s what Billy told me. And I do hate Jesus because I got bad presents last Chrismas. My parents said thats not Jesus’s fault its Santa’s fault but I do’nt believe in Santa because it makes no sense.

This next one is my absolute favorite:

I wish I was an atheist because I like the way Sam Harris looks. I saw his picture in a book my dad was reading. He is not handsome but he looks like a nice guy. Sam Harris I mean. My dad is not handsome either but he also looks like a nice guy. My mom says he has big ears and a big nose. Sam Harris that is. My dad has small ears and a big nose. I don’t know why my dad is reading a book by Sam Harris but he curses a lot. My dad I’m talking about. I don’t know if Sam Harris curses. My mom says if I was going to fall for an atheist why didn’t I pick someone nice looking at least like Richard Dawkins? I saw him on TV. He’s old. But it doesn’t matter because I’m not an atheist because I love Jesus. He is not handsome either but he also looks like a nice guy. My mom says he’s a very nice guy, nicer even than my dad who is also a nice guy. I wish he’d cut his hair, though. Jesus I mean.

:)

The rest of them are found here!

(via No More Hornets)


[tags]atheist, atheism, children, darndest[/tags]

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  • CJ

    Thanks for posting this Hemant. It really made my day. Was having a bit of a downer, but something as hilarious and beautiful as this gave my mood a massive boost.

  • Maria

    interesting responses………

  • Mriana

    Those are funny, yet sad at the same time because they don’t understand. Like in the case of the mother telling her child atheism is a bad word.

    I told my mother and she said my teacher was a bad word

    This child has been lead to believe it is bad based on what his/her mother told her.

    And forced to believe myths- like the one who had his/her mouth washed out with soap:

    And I do hate Jesus because I got bad presents last Chrismas. My parents said thats not Jesus’s fault its Santa’s fault but I do’nt believe in Santa because it makes no sense.

    Truth be told, it was the parent’s fault. Not because they gave their child gifts s/he didn’t like, but because they did not teach their child that it is the thought (the human’s thought giving the gift) that counts. There is no divine intervention or fairytale being behind gift giving, but rather (friendship, family, romantic) love from the human giving the gift.

    I find it all really crazy because the parents credit and teach that such human actions to a deity, when it is the human who does it. :(

  • http://misterjebsblog.blogspot.com Tina B.

    I thought the same thing. It was hilarious but sad at the same time.

  • http://journals.aol.ca/plittle/AuroraWalkingVacation/ Paul

    I call shenanigans. That last example you quoted, at least, was not written by any fourth grader. That’s someone have a bit of fun at The Exterminator’s expense.

  • http://cephalogenic.blogspot.com pyramus

    I wasn’t more than about three sentences into the last one when I said to myself, “There is no way that was written by a fourth-grader.”

    Also, Sam Harris is good-looking.

  • http://starseyer.blogspot.com Mikayla

    Wish Jesus would cut his hair??? LOL

  • cclopton

    Any kid who knows whether Richard Dawkins is better looking than Sam Harris is at least 43, I’m wagering. Kids get the big picture, but think all grown ups look OLD!