Comments on: The Rapture is Coming!

By: wiccankitten

wiccankitten — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 23:47:14 +0000

as a woman who makes her living as a phone sex operator, i can honestly say i hope Jesus is “comming soon”,Jessica, his 15 mins are almost up!!

By: Jessica

Jessica — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 19:32:09 +0000

Oh yea good prediction! FRIENDLY ATHEIST?! Jesus IS comming back soon and i just want to wish you luck! Your gonna need it!

By: B7

B7 — Sun, 21 Oct 2007 13:37:39 +0000

I teach ESL in a middle school where I have a number of Mexican migrant students who leave after the first frost to move back to Texas. One of them is named Jesus, pronounced the Spanish way, of course–Haysoos. Well, a Punjabi student of mine insisted on referring to him with the English pronunciation. After the Mexican student moved away, the Punjabi student said, “When is Jesus coming back?” I said, “Christians have been trying to answer that question for centuries.” He didn’t get the joke.

By: Darryl

Darryl — Sat, 20 Oct 2007 06:19:46 +0000

I wonder if there is any event that could transpire that would shock a goodly-number of our eschatologically-minded Christians into realizing that these scenarios of theirs are all bullshit? All the previous predictions and predictors have passed away in shame and still there are plenty of suckers out there to fill the pews on Sunday and lap up this crap. The fact that none of what is predicted ever comes to pass as it was predicted doesn’t seem to daunt these folks. You can’t disprove a negative–when prophecies don’t come to pass, it’s back to the reinterpretations and the sanctimonious utterances about “God’s will” or “God’s infinite patience” or “God’s mysterious ways.”

I don’t mind these people believing in their comfort-thoughts (as they pound down their comfort-foods–there are a lot of fat-asses-of-the-faith out there–somehow the sin of gluttony gets shortchanged by this crowd), just so long as they keep it to themselves. When they start sending up candidates for our Chief Executive, then I’ve got issues with them.

By: Karen

Karen — Sat, 20 Oct 2007 00:01:42 +0000

Add one more to the traumatized list. I saw that movie when I was young enough to be disturbed by it.

You too!? Man, that silly flick really made the rounds.

Either way, whether there’s a “rapture” or not, JC is supposed to be coming back and setting things right. So, what I’m getting from all this, is that the “rapture” doesn’t mean JC makes landfall. He does that later at the official “Second Coming.”

Exactly; you’ve got it. JC doesn’t even make an appearance in the rapture – he’s the sneaky thief in the night at this point. Christians (the right KIND, of course!) just disappear or fly up into heaven to meet Jesus in the air. Jesus only shows up later for the second coming (sometimes known as the apocalypse) and he’s a real bad ass by that time. Watch out!

The rapture is sort of a “get out of the tribulation free” card dreamed up by an itinerant British preacher named John Darby. Interesting fellow. His ideas didn’t catch on in England, where the people are a bit too sensible. But they caught like wildfire here in the U.S. (sigh …)

By: Polly

Polly — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 22:56:53 +0000

@Karen,

A Thief in the Night.” I can’t tell you how many people I’ve talked to who were subjected to that movie in junior high or high school church youth groups and utterly traumatized.

Add one more to the traumatized list. I saw that movie when I was young enough to be disturbed by it.

I saw one of the Left Behind movies with Kirk Cameron – not by choice. It was SOOOOOOO LAME!

As to the 2nd…”return” of Christ: It seems that the only real difference is what happens to everyone on Earth and whether Satan gets to make a cameo on the world stage in human guise. Either way, whether there’s a “rapture” or not, JC is supposed to be coming back and setting things right. So, what I’m getting from all this, is that the “rapture” doesn’t mean JC makes landfall. He does that later at the official “Second Coming.”

By: Karen

Karen — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 22:21:55 +0000

Polly, according to End Times theology, the rapture is the moment when true believers are “caught up in the air” (i.e., bodily lifted up to heaven) to be with Jesus. This event – in which millions and millions of born-again Christians will actually disappear from the earth in “the twinkling of an eye” – is supposed to mark the beginning of the Great Tribulation, seven years of worsening trouble for the earth during which time the Antichrist will lead a world government from a throne in Jerusalem. At the end of the tribulation, Jesus will return to earth in physical form, descending from the clouds with the blast of a trumpet to establish his earthly kingdom.

Jesus’s return is known as the second coming and he’s supposed to throw satan and his minions into a lake of fire and preside over an earthly kingdom for a millennium, after which satan supposedly rebels again and there’s a whole bunch of other stuff that happens, yadda, yadda.

Anyway, it’s very, very complicated and there are various theologies about exactly when and how the rapture will happen, who will be taken up to heaven, etc. (I’m dead serious, by the way, Christians fight tooth and nail over these details.) This scenario forms the basis for the Left Behind books, Hal Lindsay’s classic “Late, Great Planet Earth” and for a campy B-movie that’s become notorious in ex-fundy circles called “A Thief in the Night.” I can’t tell you how many people I’ve talked to who were subjected to that movie in junior high or high school church youth groups and utterly traumatized. I thought it was cool, actually.

By: HappyNat

HappyNat — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 21:38:50 +0000

No one can predict when is the rapture time.

Actually anyone can predict the rapture, many crackpots have. I’ll predict the rapture on 11/9/07 on which I will have been married five years. The fact that someone has put up with me for five years should mean the end of the world.

So we can only pray, wait and the most important is to do His Ten’s commandments with humble heart. Nothing less nothing more.

How does one do all of the those shall nots? Most of the 10 Cs are stuff NOT to do . . .

By: Polly

Polly — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 18:54:32 +0000

@olvlzl, no ism, no ist,
So I’m not the only one who doesn’t know exactly what the 2nd coming is supposed to be apart from the “rapture.” OK, I thought I had missed something.

@monkeymind,

“Polly, when I saw this snippet from your comment in the sidebar, I clicked on it because I thought it was going to be a salacious joke related to the other thread about what atheists scream in bed. What a disappointment!”

LMAO! Sorry to disappoint. Thoughts like that are inevitable, though, what with the word “coming” firmly linked to great anticipation.
Those who believe in prophecy among xians and muslims, see war in the Middle East as, not only, inevitable but a good sign. Some foreign policy we’re going to build with THAT attitude.

By: Katie Molnar

Katie Molnar — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 18:15:19 +0000

Re. Terry’s silly faithgasm:

No one can predict when is the rapture time.
If its predicted, people will just stay in church and pray.
Our GOD is full of surprise and power, like when he create this world.
So we can only pray, wait and the most important is to do His Ten’s commandments with humble heart. Nothing less nothing more.

Observation: Spelling and grammatical accuracy are directly proportional to one’s level of education, and spelling and grammatical accuracy are inversely proportional to one’s level of religious faith.

Therefore, religion and idiocy are directly related.

Surprising? No, but funny to see it evidenced.