I didn’t even know Santa had anything to do with Jesus. (I’m clearly ignorant.)
So our atheist tries to explain his non-religiosity to them. He tells them why he accepts evolution. He states why he isn’t a fan of religion. And he offers this olive branch:
Oh, by the way, I fine with you thinking there’s a God. Just like I’m fine with you thinking The Lite FM is the best radio station ever. Or Pepsi is better than Coke. You’re entitled to your views and your brand loyalties. But just because my brand ain’t on the shelf, I don’t want to hear your pitch for the supermarket.
This ending is great:
Folks at work, it’s not that I’ve shunned God or I’ve turned my back to him. He’s just not a thing.
But that doesn’t mean I won’t participate in your Secret Santa. Because you acknowledge Santa Claus isn’t real. And because I love presents. And when it comes to presents that cost ten dollars or under, I’ll believe anything you want.
Speaking of which, my Gift List will be posted soon. You can get your wallets out now