Geeze. Yes, I do want to develop a lasting relationship with a guy. There will be talking and hand-holding and all kinds of nice, clean stuff. But that is for the nice, smart, not-quite-so-attractive, marriage-material guys. Hot ones are for mad bunnyluvz.

And why aren’t those churches talking about their sex-education programs? Are they afraid that the fundies will come after them and attack them?

JeffN said,

November 15, 2007 at 8:53 am

Mriana said

The pendulum always swings to center.

In a healthy society yes. I so pose the real question is what is a healthy society and where is center.

This is quite true, Jeff.

1. I thought about holding hands, dancing, walking in the moonlight, talking – something where we were connecting emotionally.

2. I thought about having sex with him.

Why is it a question of either/or? I would be thinking of both! Nothing puts me in the mood like a nice romantic walk in the moonlight

if we can’t control or impulses what makes us any different then the animals aside from the fact that where not running after the first dame or dude guy or doll and getting it on in the middle of wherever like a dog.

That’s hot.

The pendulum always swings to center.

In a healthy society yes. I so pose the real question is what is a healthy society and where is center.

I just wish we’d find the middle ground and stay there. Yes, when I want it and you want it. No otherwise.

The pendelum always swings to center.

But if I were going out with a woman — or a man — who said they didn’t want to have sex until marriage, I’d suddenly remember an urgent appointment elsewhere, and would be out of there so fast it’d make your head spin.

And I wouldn’t consider it “pressure.”

Absolutely. Sex is not some sort of trivial nice-to-have in a relationship. If some guy believes in “waiting for marriage” then we’re incompatible. That’s a deal-breaker for me. I talked about this in my sex on the first date post.

Here’s what’s weird, though. A woman who loves her body and loves sex isn’t doesn’t always convert her dates to that enlightened belief. I actually did get that weird reaction from a few of my dates, who sort of lost respect for me.

That brings up another bonus of the “sex on the first date” technique — it eliminates those guys before you waste too much time on them. If the guy is mentally separating women into “virgin” and “whore” categories (and can’t fathom having a relationship with a “whore” because he doesn’t “respect” her), then I sort of lose respect for him too. Well, not just sort of.

And to those who say that the above scenario is bad for me because the asshole guy “gets what he wants,” I say: “so what?” I get what I want too. That should be obvious to anyone who doesn’t think that women are giving up a little of their desirability (like band-aid losing stickiness or a donut with the frosting licked off) by having sex.