Reason Magazine has an article in their upcoming issue called “Say You Love Santa: Pop culture’s war on secularists.”
The premise: We’re need to market atheism a whole lot more than we currently do. Where are our versions of the cheap crap Christians sell?!
In the article, we learn the following:
- Richard Dawkins hates Christmas:
According to an article that ran in The New York Times last December, the author of The God Delusion celebrates Christmas for “family reasons” but apparently has even less reverence for Cindy Lou Who than he does for Baby Jesus. “I detest Jingle Bells, White Christmas, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, and the obscene spending bonanza that nowadays seems to occupy not just December, but November and much of October, too,” he told the Times.
Is there any more concise illustration of why most Americans would sooner send a gay Hindu divorcée to the White House than a nonbeliever? It’s one thing to reject the Lord God Almighty, but Secret Santa too? Even in the bluest blue state, that qualifies as blasphemy.
They later refer to him as “Ebenezer Dawkins.”
- It’s really hard to buy presents for atheists:
… it’s much harder to shop for the evangelical nonbelievers on your Christmas list than it is to shop for the devout.
I thought I’d made this very clear. For Christmas, I want everything on my gift list. Plus Jennifer Garner.
- That doll we all wanted wont be in stores this holiday season (again):
… if you go looking for a Madalyn Murray O’Hair action figure at Wal-Mart, you’ll have to settle for a 13-inch Samson doll from the faith-based toymaker One2believe.
- There’s a market for sweet-smelling-Secular-Humanists… as well as atheist neckties. Someone should lead the charge on those things…:
Look for atheist perfume, and you’ll be looking for eternity… Search for the atheist equivalent to Christian yo-yos and Christian neckties, and you will come up as empty-handed as Mother Teresa passing the plate at Christopher Hitchens’ dinner table.
After all that, here’s the point:
Atheists… are still in the pop Dark Ages. Their T-shirts aren’t as visually appealing, their tchotchkes aren’t as diverse, and their rock bands aren’t spreading a 110-decibel message of rational humanism. It’s time to evolve past the Darwin Fish and fill up nonbelievers’ stockings with atheist junk that’s as gloriously profane as the junk blessed by Jesus.
I wonder what this “atheist junk” would be… any ideas?