The War on Secularism

Reason Magazine has an article in their upcoming issue called “Say You Love Santa: Pop culture’s war on secularists.”

The premise: We’re need to market atheism a whole lot more than we currently do. Where are our versions of the cheap crap Christians sell?!

In the article, we learn the following:

  • Richard Dawkins hates Christmas:

    According to an article that ran in The New York Times last December, the author of The God Delusion celebrates Christmas for “family reasons” but apparently has even less reverence for Cindy Lou Who than he does for Baby Jesus. “I detest Jingle Bells, White Christmas, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, and the obscene spending bonanza that nowadays seems to occupy not just December, but November and much of October, too,” he told the Times.

    Is there any more concise illustration of why most Americans would sooner send a gay Hindu divorcée to the White House than a nonbeliever? It’s one thing to reject the Lord God Almighty, but Secret Santa too? Even in the bluest blue state, that qualifies as blasphemy.

    They later refer to him as “Ebenezer Dawkins.”

  • It’s really hard to buy presents for atheists:

    … it’s much harder to shop for the evangelical nonbelievers on your Christmas list than it is to shop for the devout.

    I thought I’d made this very clear. For Christmas, I want everything on my gift list. Plus Jennifer Garner.

  • That doll we all wanted wont be in stores this holiday season (again):

    … if you go looking for a Madalyn Murray O’Hair action figure at Wal-Mart, you’ll have to settle for a 13-inch Samson doll from the faith-based toymaker One2believe.

  • There’s a market for sweet-smelling-Secular-Humanists… as well as atheist neckties. Someone should lead the charge on those things…:

    Look for atheist perfume, and you’ll be looking for eternity… Search for the atheist equivalent to Christian yo-yos and Christian neckties, and you will come up as empty-handed as Mother Teresa passing the plate at Christopher Hitchens’ dinner table.

After all that, here’s the point:

Atheists… are still in the pop Dark Ages. Their T-shirts aren’t as visually appealing, their tchotchkes aren’t as diverse, and their rock bands aren’t spreading a 110-decibel message of rational humanism. It’s time to evolve past the Darwin Fish and fill up nonbelievers’ stockings with atheist junk that’s as gloriously profane as the junk blessed by Jesus.

I wonder what this “atheist junk” would be… any ideas?


[tags]atheist, atheism[/tags]

  • http://unorthodoxatheism.blogspot.com Reed Braden

    We don’t have the cheap plastic trinkets that Christians have because most of us aren’t braindead enough to revel in worthless garbage. When I and whatever partner I end up with raise children, sure, they’ll have a few toys, but their primary gift from this father will be books. One thing I regret about my childhood is that I never got to read the classics until I was in high school. It would be much better for a child to read abridged Voltaire and children’s Dickens than rot their minds with a plastic Sampson and Delilah barbershop playset.

  • Jen

    I for one hope to receive a stuffed banana toy. I also want perfume that smells like the tears of children, a “godless puppy-kicker” shirt, and Christopher Hitchen’s new line of atheist vodkas. And theist-stompin’ boots.

    As for early Christmas shopping- here’s the thing: we wouldn’t put out Christmas crap early if it weren’t for the fact that people buy it. And if we as a store don’t, other stores will get that business. I studied retail in college, and I work retail too, and on November 1st, when we shoved over the Halloween clearance candy to make way for the Christmas candy, I had customers come over to me. “Seems this stuff comes out earlier and earlier every year,” they’d say, shoving wrapping paper and Santa candies into their baskets, “I just don’t know why you guys put it out so soon”.

  • http://stereoroid.com/ brian t

    Look for atheist perfume, and you’ll be looking for eternity…

    Ooh – nice subliminal advertising there. 8)

  • Linda Lindsey

    Atheist perfumes? Doesn’t half of what Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab sells qualify?
    I do wish we had better t-shirts and music. Sometimes I’d just like to sing something emotionally rich in the shower and belting out “O Holy Night” is kind of embarrassing, considering my views.

  • stogoe

    “Seems this stuff comes out earlier and earlier every year,” they’d say, shoving wrapping paper and Santa candies into their baskets, “I just don’t know why you guys put it out so soon”.

    That’s hilarious.

  • Karen

    Christopher Hitchen’s new line of atheist vodkas

    Oooooh, now that sounds promising!

  • kristi

    I haven’t seen any atheist action figures yet, but you can get Benjamin Franklin, Oscar Wilde, and other subversive action figures at Archie McPhee. I have my heart set on the glow in the dark flesh eating zombies.

    http://www.mcphee.com/categories/action.html

  • http://starseyer.blogspot.com Mikayla

    “I detest Jingle Bells, White Christmas, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, and the obscene spending bonanza that nowadays seems to occupy not just December, but November and much of October, too,” he told the Times.

    Odd, I’ve heard pious Christians say the same sort of thing. Basically that Christmas has become too secularized and commercialized. So what is the big deal about Dawkins saying that?

  • http://www.myspace.com/timandjeffrey Tim

    and their rock bands aren’t spreading a 110-decibel message of rational humanism.

    May I introduce you to Greg Graffin of Bad Religion, an atheist himself? Author of such jaunty tunes as “American Jesus” and “Come Join Us,” both assaults on the mindless cult mentality of American organized religion, and “You” and “Atheist Peace,” respectively an ode to rationality and a rumination of what life would be like if everybody just crammed their religions and got along.

    Yeah, as you may be able to tell, I am a SUPER huge Greg Graffin fan…0_0

  • Mriana

    We celebrate Human Light Day at my house, but we enjoy Christmas at our friends’ house too. Happy Holidays, y’all! :D

  • Old Beezle

    In order for the atheist trinket thing to work, we must first brainwash our children into believing in such worthless things, but if atheists believe in anything it certainly isn’t going to be useless things (read: religion). Wal-Mart’s for Christians. Borders is for atheists.

  • Polly

    Wal-Mart’s for Christians. Borders is for atheists.

    That’s SO true. Someone was telling me how much they enjoy shopping for books. I said that I do to. Little did I know, we weren’t speaking the same language. I said I practically spend a small fortune at Borders. She just gave a small scoff and said that she only shops at a local Xian book store. I notice she has many “trinkets” too.
    Even for a Xian, doesn’t it get a little tiring to read the same subject repeated ad infinitum. Jesus this, Jesus that. Give me a break already. There ARE other things in life to learn about! I’ve been to the store; unless you’ve got a JC fetish, you’ll get bored kinda quickly.

  • Mriana

    This is true. I do like my Star Trek and B5 books. :lol: I can’t spend my whole life reading Price and alike. I love the man, but I love Star Trek too. :lol: Oh and don’t forget Jackie Collins and John Jakes, and and and…

  • Karen

    Even for a Xian, doesn’t it get a little tiring to read the same subject repeated ad infinitum. Jesus this, Jesus that. Give me a break already.

    I started to feel like that when I was deconverting. The sermons were SO repetitious, I could have gotten up there and delivered them myself. And reading and re-reading and studying the bible for 30 years straight, always with the same interpretations and emphases – enough already!

    A lot of Christians have no idea what a wonderful world of knowledge is out there and available to them because they are channeled into such dull, one-track thinking.


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