Comments on: Friendly Atheist Contest #9 1/2 Atheist Limericks

By: Janice Weinberger

Janice Weinberger — Thu, 20 Jan 2011 16:58:41 +0000

There once was a rabbi named Jesus
Who had a bad case of the sneezes
He was known as the jew
Who spread ’round the flu
And brought us all down on our kneeses!

By: Marc Alan Di Martino

Marc Alan Di Martino — Mon, 17 May 2010 11:12:40 +0000

I know this is way late, but I thought I’d post it just the same. I’ve begun posting them to my blog.

PZ once enraged a whole slew
of religious fanatics – he threw
a Qur’an in the trash
and then with a dash
of élan, he threw in Dawkins, too.

—-

- for Ayaan Hirsi Ali

There once was a actress named Weisz
whose bashful, compassionate eyes
inspired us to rate
her Hypatia as great
and to weep when the heroine dies.

What little we know of her life
is bound up in trouble and strife
of an era in which
they thought her a witch
because she was nobody’s wife.

Neither Christian nor pagan nor Jew
she was one of the relative few
who today we would call
a freethinker, et al.
then degrade in the New York Review.*

* of Books

By: Ur Mother

Ur Mother — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 06:28:50 +0000

An old man sat in a chair,
he didn’t really care,
when his friends said “you’re doomed”
“unless god saves you!”
in which case he hit ‘em with a pear

By: Ur Mother

Ur Mother — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 06:25:07 +0000

Christian vs. Atheist responses to common statements

1. Can a Woman who has been raped get aborted???

C: Short answer, no. long answer, nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
A: Why should I give a flying Fuck??? she could have a baby dragon frenchman and call it bob and abort three years after its born and I honestly wouldn’t give a shit

By: Ur Mother

Ur Mother — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 06:16:20 +0000

There once was a boy named keith
who was ass raped by a priest,
he wanted an apology
and some serious money
but the pope said no deal, you thief!

(Srsly tho…How come religious dudes get away with child molestation? No one else can! I’m pretty sure that Jebus -praise JEBUS- never said, “let he without sin, rape the first boy!”)

By: Ur Mother

Ur Mother — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 06:11:20 +0000

If god is such a good guy,
then why doesn’t he come down from the sky
He hides up above,
just like Santa does,
And his BS makes me want to cry

By: Ur Mother

Ur Mother — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 06:07:39 +0000

On the glorious day of easter,
i got drunk off my keaster,
i was drunk as a skunk
and puched a monk
and they said “you must leave mister”

Easter Drunkeness FTW

By: Walter Strong

Walter Strong — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 01:35:15 +0000

The Holy Ghost and Mary were hump’n,
Her ass was vigorously pump’n.
The Ghost cut a fart,
Woke Joseph with a start,
And he gave that old spook a thump’n

By: Joe King

Joe King — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 20:22:34 +0000

The collection box filled to the brim
The priest asks who’s the kind limb
It’s me said the queer
Priest say’s pick a hymm we can hear
And he points to him him and him

By: Joe King

Joe King — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 21:15:59 +0000

A priest far from his native shores
Deceided he’d visit the whores
Not to hear confession
Just to fulflil his obsession
But his dick got covered in sores