Friendly Atheist Contest #11: Atheist Headlines

Last week, I ran this contest:

What other shocking statements will the Pope make in his next encyclical?

Here are the Top 5 statements (with submitters)!


Galileo is back in hell. We retract previous papal decrees to the contrary.



“We need to broaden our outreach to fertilized eggs. At least 50% of naturally conceived fertilized eggs don’t implant – that’s half of humanity! Although a corner of heaven is reserved for them, dying before baptism means they are denied the beatific vision – all because their mother’s womb refused to grant them shelter.

“To the end of saving these souls, we shall institute a weekly baptismal ceremony for the unborn, and require regular attendance of all married or fornicating premenopausal women the Sunday before their monthly flow starts.”



When we said “Limbo doesn’t exist”, we meant the dance.



“The earth is flat, evolution is false, and Christians predated everyone else. Sherri Shepherd is my close disciple.”



“Yes, I’m a Catholic, and bears, well, yeah, they do.”


Congratulations to the winners! The top three will be receiving specially-made Friendly Atheist wristbands (in the color of their choice), sent to me by blog reader Shauna and her sister Danni!


If you’d like to win your own wristband, here is the new contest:

What newspaper headline would atheists most like to read?

(The idea comes from this post, from a blog for Indian-Americans. Check it out for sample headlines.)

Funny and creative answers will have a shot at winning.

Good luck!

[tags]atheist, atheism, contest[/tags]

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