I know what I’m getting you for Christmas this year.
A Pope Clock.
Because it’s so hard to keep track of who’s infallible these days…
And for my Christian friends, a Rapture Clock!
Sounds a loud alarm and flashes a bright blue light half-an-hour before the beginning of Judgement Day, giving you ample time to repent your transgressions before ‘Rapture’ begins. Enjoy the life of a sinner right up until the last moment: take drugs, steal church funds, have sex with prostitutes, etc. and be forgiven just in time! Also suitable for agnostics.
There’s also a Politically Incorrect Dalai Lama calendar, Anti-Depiction Goggles (for those who are forbidden from seeing depictions of deities/saints/prophets), and a Torah-Compliant Pacemaker.
If only they were real…
Southerly is taking suggestions for other gifts we’d like to see.