Irreverent Christmas Gifts

I know what I’m getting you for Christmas this year.

A Pope Clock.

Because it’s so hard to keep track of who’s infallible these days…


And for my Christian friends, a Rapture Clock!


Sounds a loud alarm and flashes a bright blue light half-an-hour before the beginning of Judgement Day, giving you ample time to repent your transgressions before ‘Rapture’ begins. Enjoy the life of a sinner right up until the last moment: take drugs, steal church funds, have sex with prostitutes, etc. and be forgiven just in time! Also suitable for agnostics.

There’s also a Politically Incorrect Dalai Lama calendar, Anti-Depiction Goggles (for those who are forbidden from seeing depictions of deities/saints/prophets), and a Torah-Compliant Pacemaker.

If only they were real…

Southerly is taking suggestions for other gifts we’d like to see.

(via Cosmopolitan)

[tags]atheist, atheism[/tags]

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  • Mriana

    I thought the first one was a Beatles clock with an extra- George, Paul, John, and Ringo and all on there. 😆

  • It would be handy to get the Rapture Early-Warning System in a portable format – like a wrist watch. It would be terrible for one of those to sound while you’re away on vacation. If it was portable you could easily accept Jesus into your heart anywhere in anticipation of the rapture, be it in godless China or an Amsterdam strip club.