Questions for Atheists: Should I Send a Card?

Heck, Mike, we’re atheists at my house, and WE’RE sending Christmas cards.

We celebrate Christmas. I also get a lot of Christmas cards from both believing and nonbelieving friends and loved ones.

A kind thought NEVER is an insult. Unless you wish Happy Holidays to Bill O’Reilly. Then it is.

Sure, but a holiday card NOT a Christmas card. I personally prefer New Years cards.

I’m an athiest.
I love Christmas
I hate Christmas cards (bah humbug).

I do enjoy getting Christmas letters from people I know that have pictures and updates on what is going on with their life, but a card with some bland “Happy Holidays” message is in my opinion a waste of money and resources.

I think it depends on the person receiving the letter. Many atheists like myself wouldn’t take offense to a christmas card at all; however, others might not feel the same.
Given the fact that you’re a pastor, I think your atheist friend would probably anticipate a christmas-y card.
Besides, I think it’s wonderful to let people know that you’re thinking about them, regardless of the occasion. And so I think you should send the card.

I’m an atheist and I love Christmas and I love getting Christmas cards. I also send some out. The religious ones aren’t the ones that I’d choose to send, but if I receive them from friends, I still enjoy getting them. If in doubt, just try something like a “Peace on Earth” message. But I think your family photo card is a wonderful idea.

Don’t ask for money though. I’m not being sarcastic. I have a good friend who is a minister and he always includes a little footnote asking for donations in every card I get from him, and that just makes me sour on the whole idea of keeping in touch.

As an atheist, I really don’t mind if someone sends me a religiousy card, be it christian, catholic, jewish, whatever. My mom does it, My grandpa did, and I just take the sentiment for what it is.

1) They are simply saying they are keeping me in their thoughts (albeit with prayers generally attached). There’s nothing wrong with that at all.
2) It’s sometimes a subtle attempt to “save” me, and I understand that. But as long as it stays at the level, I know they are simply doing what they think is in my best interest, and I respect it as long as doesn’t give the “argh why aren’t you going to church!” vibe.

So I say send’em, and wish everyone a happy ramakwanzahanamas or whatever holiday If they take offense, they should probably lighten up a little.

EDIT: and I agree 100% with writerdd, don’t ask for money, that’s not a nice touch

Hey Mike, send ME a card…. please…..

Are these e-cards? Because that would be so much better on the environment.

In any case, a card is always nice. But maybe a “Happy Holidays” e-card for those you don’t know very well?

I wouldn’t be bothered by that. I’m slightly bothered by those cards with both Christian and Jewish symbols, as they seem to implicitly suggest that they’re representing the gamut, but even then I’m more interested in what’s on the inside of the card than what’s on the outside.

Given our passion for social justice issues, our cards these past few years have tended to be “peace on earth” themed… however, that to me is still a “religious” message

It may be a religious issue to you, but I doubt you’d find many atheists who would consider peace a religious issue. (I await the chorus of nay-sayers?) And since it’s the recipient’s reaction you’re concerned with, you’d probably be in the clear there even if religious content were an issue.

I think that really would depend up to an individual person whether or not they’d appreciate it. I’m an atheist and don’t celebrate Christmas but if I’m going to get a Christmas card in the mail I’m not going to grumble about it – I might even consider it cute.

Christmas seems to be such an entrenched norm that I really don’t try to go out of my way and chase down every person who wishes me “Merry Christmas” and say “No, no, no, I don’t celebrate that, take it back!”

I’d prefer a Human Light card, but I’ll settle for an Christmas Card since they are hard to find unless you send an e-card from http://www.humanlight.org Hint. hint. I have yet to receive a Human Light card.

Thanks for asking, Mike!

In my experience, the vast majority of atheists celebrate Christmas as a cultural holiday. I’ve never cared much for all the contrived attempts to invent a new secular holiday (Solstice, Festivus, etc… HumanLight? *vomit*)

I’ve also never met an atheist who takes umbrage at being wished a Merry Christmas; I think such a creature is the product of Bill O’Reilly’s overactive, malevolent imagination. But as some other commenters have suggested, the best bet is to avoid overt religious references. “Merry Christmas” is a wonderful sentiment; “Jesus died for your sins, now get down on your knees, you ungrateful heathen,” not so much

My feeling on the topic-if they were cards out of a box, I would suggest a more Holidayish card. After all, you would probably buy several boxes. In this case, though, since they are more personalized cards, I don’t think it as weird to send a more religious card, especially since there is generally a discount on one style of card verses several personalized cards.

I don’t really enjoy getting religious holiday cards because sometimes I can’t tell if it is an innocent kind gesture or a deliberate method to force religion upon me. But I don’t have the most healthy relationship with some family members …

This year a friend sent out religious cards and he wrote a little note in mine saying I know you’re not into this but I wanted to stay in touch. That was very cool.

Zeolite, I fully understand. My mother is always sending religious holiday and birthday cards with Bible verses. This year it is Mother Mary (or is that Isis?) with the Bible verse Luke 2:11 (KJV) and signed it “Love and Prayers, Mother/Grandma”. Now, I know she means well, but it get old after a while. Why not a cute kitty dressed a Kitty Santa wishing me a Merry Catmas or something cute? I think it would be a nice change and compromise without denying her her Christmas.

By the same token, she complains about my cards- only directly to me. She wants something religious- specifically Jesus, because it “is the reason for the season”. Um… No, it’s a pagan holiday, but I won’t tell her that. She doesn’t understand why I don’t send religious holiday cards and I won’t tell her exactly why.

Personally, her cards go in file 13 more often than not, but I’m not telling her that. It’s hard to tell if it really does come from her heart or from her head. Who am I to say.

I wouldn’t mind myself, I love Christmas as a purely family orientated thing, but I’m also a sucker for Christmas carols including the overtly religious ones. Christmas cards are fine

My only major problem would be if I felt the person was sending the card in a direct attempt to convert me. If I feel that the person is genuninly just wishing me well and is doing it in a religious way because that’s the only way they can think of to send a holiday well-wishing then fine, but if they are trying to hit me over the head with their religion then that’s not cool. Just try not to get preachy and you’ll be fine by most people I think.

As for the Bible verses the verse about “and God so loved the world…etc, would be a bit too preachy for me. If you want a bible verse then pick “Love thy neighbour as you love yourself” or something would probably be better, at least it would be for me.

A quick google search finds that Atheists have made xmyth cards:
http://slumbering.lungfish.com/?p=254
http://www.badastronomy.com/bablog/2007/12/10/happy-hubble-holidays/
https://lightning.he.net/~atheists/catalogue/shop/prod7010.php
http://www.evolvefish.com/fish/cards.html
http://www.cafepress.com/orderofstnick/3688619

So yeah, THAT’S a question that’s been done to death and easily answered by common sense.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20061102082911AA727Ks

Will the next question be, “Do Atheists enjoy Valentine’s chocolate because it’s a religious holiday?”

Send.
I receive overtly religious cards every year from relatives and I accept them happily because they represent an affectionate sentiment from the sender.
I send cards that are non-religious because that’s my expression of affection.

Plus, it’s not like anyone is going to be shocked to get a religious card from you. Why would you be any more reluctant to send a religious card than to speak your belief face to face?

If I received a religious card from someone who I knew was aware that I was an atheist, it would piss me off.

Mriana, why not have a little harmless fun messin’ with your mom’s mind just a bit? Find the sappiest, corniest, most saccharin sweet, sweeeeeet, make-even-a-chocolate-covered-cherries-addict-gag-in-nausea card with a doe-eyed baby Jesus glowing in the dark like something out of a 50′s sci-fi movie titled “The Attack of the Radioactive Midgets” and send it just to her. Then if she says something about it just be nonchalant and say you thought she’d like it.

If someone sends me a SUPER-religious card all it gets is a smirk and an eyeroll before it gets put on the mantle with all the other cards we get from loved-ones.

I don’t mind baby Jesus in the cards I get.

I even have a nativity scene that gets prominent display at my home every Christmas. I like it. Religious Christmas carols are played and sung in my home interspersed with the Chipmunks and Ella Fitzgerald’s Jingle Bells. I don’t like religious intrusion in government, I don’t like the Pledge having Under God in it… but I reserve the right to include religious art and themes in my personal holiday celebration.

This might be rare among atheists here, I should take a poll: How many atheists here have a Nativity scene?

…thoughts … that I should send cards to some of my new online friends here at this site. … Is it appropriate to send a Christmas card to an atheist friend? Would that be offensive? Insensitive? I mean, I don’t think I’d send a Christmas card to Jewish friends either. But then, on the other hand, would it be rude of me to exclude them from my list because they’re an atheist? I really don’t know.

(Please keep in mind that I’m talking here about people I don’t know that well… primarily know in the context of discussions about atheism. Also keep in mind that my cards are overtly religious – not just “Happy Holidays”.)

I can only speak for myself, but here’s my take on it. If people don’t know I am atheist, then I am not offended by an overtly religious card, even a strongly religious one, but on the other hand if they do know I’m atheist, and they still send one heavy on the religion, then I have to wonder at their motives, because it begins to sound like proselytizing.

We send cards at Christmas time, but we pay attention to who we’re sending them to and choose cards accordingly. We include our Jewish friends, even the religious ones, BUT we send only “Seasons Greetings” cards to them – since of course they don’t celebrate Christmas, even in a secular way. We generally have at least two sets of cards.

I would not send a religious friend an openly atheist card, and I would respect a similar courtesy in return – if they know I am atheist, I expect the courtesy of a card that does not contain bible quotes, for example. I don’t get offended if it has a picture of the nativity, though I wouldn’t send one like that.

Since you seem to indicate that you will send only ONE kind of card (a decision I find surprising, but let’s take that as given), I would suggest that where you don’t know the reaction, you should assume a plainly religious card may not be appreciated; if you can include a brief personal note, that may matter less. If you don’t send a card but want to include your atheist friends in some way, why not send nothing but a short note to tell them you’re thinking of them and appreciate having had discussions with them?

It’s hard to judge without seeing just what message your card conveys. You may have to rely on empathy to judge better what the impact will be.

Oh Richard, that is sooooo good! I like that. Update on my recent Xmas card from my aunt. Are you prepared for yet another that goes in file 13? Well here it is, strongly and blatantly religious and my aunt has an inkling of my stance. Here it is, cover your eyes if you have vampiric reactions to blatantly religious stuff:

The front of the card: Celebrate Jesus our light in the darkness our peace in the storm our hope for eternity.

Inside left 2 Corinthians 9:15: Thanks be to God for His indescrible gift! Inside right page: Our greatest gift. Have a Blessed Christmas

Any atheist not sicken from that one I’d be surprised, but that’s my relatives for you. Say “Aye!” if you’re not sick yet. It’s not even pretty, but rather a dark blood red front with hard to read gold writing. Inside font is is dark blood red. Joy! Make it hard to read and bloody. Wasn’t he an infant around this time- IF you really believe he was born in Dec? The colour should be for the the Passion, but who am I to tell her.

OK IF either of them deserves the card you described Richard, it’s my aunt with bleeding ulcers. Oh wait. I um… I don’t want to kill her. Maybe nausea isn’t such a good idea for her. Maybe something earthy will surfice.

Just once I’d like to receive a card that shows the human/humanistic side of things and not something that is preachy or what have you.

A second thought, Mike – you can always ask “Is it okay if I send you a Christmas card?”.

Most people will say yes. Atheists – just as any other human being – like to be thought of, and a Christmas card can convey that.

Mike, you could write on the front and back of the envelope in between two bands of yellow and black diagonal lines,
“CAUTION! This envelope contains a religious greeting card. If such material is offensive to you or if it is unlawful for you to view it, do not open it and destroy it by fire.”

Maybe asbestos gloves and tongs with which I shake the card without looking at it to see if any money falls out.

My dad, from whom I probably inherited my evilness had a game he and my mom would play each Christmas. They would open the Christmas card envelopes without looking at the return name and address. They’d look at the front of the card and then the back of the card where the last part of the card number showed the price. Then they’d guess who sent it and finally look inside to see if they were right. They were remarkably accurate.

Once again the Christian has revealed his complete inability to see beyond his own personal blinkers on the world. We are all a product of the culture we are raised in, so most North American atheists will celebrate Christmas. While we do not recognise the religious aspect of the holiday, we are able to celebrate it as a purely secular celebration. Ironically, we have wrested Christmas from the Christians in much the way they wrested it from its original pagan roots. The ideal of Christmas, that giving is a virtue worthy of practice by us all, is one we all can appreciate. The Christian myth that gives us that message is as much a part of our heritage as the many other “moral” stories we read as children, like Aesop’s fables and Andersen’s fairy tales. As with the others, we are able to recognise and accept the moral message in the story without having to accept the events as true. Just as we recognise that the story of the stork and the fox sharing dinner is metaphorical, we see the same quality in the Bible stories we read.

I come from an atheist home and we celebrate Christmas as a family-oriented holiday. I always enjoy getting cards. I don’t mind, say, a card that has a picture of a nativity scene in front of it and no bible verses or something inside. However I would feel slightly bothered by an overly religious card.
Your idea with the picture of your daughter and the letter sounds lovely. I would really appreciate getting such a card and I don’t know why anyone would be bothered by it.

Oh, sure. We know where we rate. If you truly loved all your atheist friends, you’d go buy a $5 pack of cards for us.

I have no comment here- I just like saying spam. Sorry, the computer posted three times and I have no way of deleting this.

I have no comment here- I just like saying spam.

Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, wonderful spaaaam, wonderful spaaaam!

So, Richard, are you accusing him of playing Devil’s Advocate?

Also, I had to laugh at Stephanie’s post and the response to it. I believe she has inadvertantly misspelled a word. I think the word she likes saying is “spasm.”

Yes, but I don’t like spam.