Friendly Atheist Contest #17: Lent

Last week, I ran this contest:

Tell us about your new religion. Name, followers, rules, etc.

Here are the Top 3 responses (with submitters)!


The Second Assembly of Cod

Mission: Love and peace to all things fish.

Symbol: Darwin Fish

Phrase stated upon entering Sacred Area: Holy Mackerel

We could print tee-shirts. Oh the possiblities are endless!

(Hound Doggy)



Belief system that if there is a God and a Heavenly reward, then only people who don’t believe in God and the Heavenly reward get the Heavenly award.

open to everyone.

enemies: those that have a more simple-minded cause and effect belief system for getting into heaven.



The iReligion.

God: Steve Jobs

Sermons: Available as a weekly podcast.

Ceremonies: Dancing in the dark with glowing white ear-buds. To Journey ballads.

Satan: Bill Gates…the iReligion is not Windows compatible.


And Honorable Mentions go to Philosopher Jeff and Bjorn, both of whom made me smile :) Bjorn even made a button!

Congratulations to the winners! The top three will be receiving specially-made Friendly Atheist wristbands (in the color of their choice), sent to me by blog reader Shauna and her sister Danni!


If you’d like to win your own wristband, here is the new contest:

What did you (or would you) give up for Lent?

Funny and creative answers will have a shot at winning.

Good luck!

[tags]atheist, atheism, contest[/tags]

  • Reed Braden

    I gave up anorexia for lent… so I could start fasting.

  • Brad

    I’d give up Klondike bars.

    Then, when someone asks me what I’d do for one, I’d say “not break my lenten sacrifice, jerk!”

  • mollishka

    I’m giving up Lent.

  • The (Parenthetical) Atheist

    I give up my New Years Resolutions.

  • Chad

    I gave up religion

  • Mike

    In an act of self-purification, I gave up all fruits of godless scientific progress. Of course, this excludes computers and makes posting to your blog much more difficult. I’m actually posting my response via the Protocol for Requests Across Yahweh’s Eternal Realm (PRAYER). Of course, this protocol’s documentation is much vaguer than, say, HTTP, so I hope I get it right. You do *not* want to know how many blood sacrifices were required to get this message through to an atheist blog…

  • Robin


  • Allison

    You’re supposed to eat fish (no meat) on Fridays during Lent. I live in New Mexico, where fish is effectively non-existent. All fresh fruit and vegetables are trucked to this desert location so I don’t have to subsist on cheese, corn tortillas, and green chilies alone. So for the “humanist celebration of the equinox” I’ve decided to become a locavore! Luckily, the co-op grows its own fruit & veggies, and they have local-yolkels (locally grown eggs).

  • Joe

    I’d give up moderation for Lent.

  • Drew

    You’ve inspired me to give up Reddit for lent.

    Maybe this is a big leap, but I feel like a lot of religious practices, isolated from their silly religious origin, can be good for us. I’ve not observed Lent for a few years now, but you’ve inspired me (led me to inspire myself?) to give something up for awhile, and reflect on how lucky I am to have it in the first place.

  • Richard


  • Erik

    i gave up Christianity many years ago from lent :P

  • Mriana

    What did you (or would you) give up for Lent?


  • Tolga K.

    Goat Sacrifices.

    Agents of Satan need to practice Lent too, y’know?

  • Siamang


  • Skeptigator


  • Skeptigator

    oh and kicking puppies

  • Matt

    I gave up giving up for Lent

  • Nora

    Im giving up false beliefs in evil gods for lent

  • Susan B.

    I really ought to give up posting on atheist forums and reading atheist blogs after 2 in the morning for Lent!

  • JimboB

    I’m going to give up procrastination for lent… starting next year… maybe

  • chancelikely

    My ex-girlfriend’s parents were really slow to take down their Christmas decorations. So, realizing that the day we were actually taking down the Christmas tree was Ash Wednesday, my ex’s mother said, “Well, I guess I’m giving up Christmas for Lent this year.”

    Cracked me up.

  • Renacier

    I’m giving up The Internet.

    See you all in 40 days!

  • Sam G.

    I gave up having sympathy for idiots. Read the Directions!

  • Jeff

    I’m giving up Mortification of the flesh using Flagellant devices.

    I won’t be closer to God, but it is a sacrifice I’m willing to make.

  • Drew

    I’ll give up my virginity for lent.

    Any takers?


  • Looney

    I gave up eating and went on a fast. The reason, however, was that I had a stomach flu and I couldn’t eat anything.

  • Kate

    I gave up profanity last year. Or tried to, rather. I think I made it three weeks. But it at least made me conscious of my words.

    I do think it’s a good exercise in self-regulation, whether you’re religious or not.

  • Justin McKean

    For Lent, I give up sacrificing things.

  • Danny

    I gave up visiting

    Damn, failed already!

    Back to the drawing board for me …

  • The Exterminator

    Giving up for Lent?
    Haiku that I got hooked on
    nine contests ago.

  • Bill M

    I gave up picking my bellybutton.

  • Anne

    The War on Christmas. So I can focus my time and resources toward waging the more seasonally appropriate War on Easter.

    “Happy Holidays!”

  • Isaah

    for lent ill give up eating babies. ill be ready to go cold turkey next week and then for 40 days.

    lent already started?

    …but i just ordered Chinese.

    welp there is always next year

  • john

    i’m giving up the shift key. among other things, this means no money, no email, no quotes, no questions, and no excitement. i’ll probably miss the snide parenthetical remarks most.

  • Evolved

    I gave up bashing theistards for about an hour on Lent. Amazing, no?

  • Anne

    I’m giving up my civil liberties (what’s left of them)… as a practice run just in case Huckabee manages to pull out a win.

  • ansuzmannaz

    I’ll give up my ungodly, devilish D&D books, but given that this is “Lent” I’ll want them back when this is all over.

  • Susan

    I would give up Lent for Lent.

  • Jeff

    I’m giving up my civil liberties (what’s left of them)… as a practice run just in case Huckabee manages to pull out a win.

    Good one.

    The religious-right’s strategy seems to be to try for a re-run of 1976 where a new conservative movement is started, they lose the election, they then come roaring back four years later to REALLY change things. I wish Obama well in his first administration so that won’t happen!!!

    But then again, I must hate America because I love the constitution.

    For lent I give up apologizing for loving the constitution!!!

  • Mitchbert

    I promise I won’t send Benny Hinn $500!

  • Jodie

    I gave up junk food for Lent four years ago (while I was in Peace Corps:)

  • Rovakur

    I’m simply going to give up, period. Life isn’t worth it. I’m outta here. In ninety days.

  • Jim Olson

    I am finally giving up my quest for canonization. Try as I may, I just cannot pull off that third and final miracle.

  • False Prophet

    I “lent” a friend money during Lent once. I’m giving up my patience for his repayment schedule…

  • Bill Snedden

    Interestingly enough, I actually did finally let go of religion around lent and when a friend asked me what I was giving up I said, “Jesus”. :)

    Now, I would probably say that I gave up fantasy, wishful thinking, false hope, easy answers, and certainty…

  • Scotty B

    Three years ago I gave up Christ for Lent, never went back.

    God I’m good! ;)

  • The Reverend

    I lent my brother-in-law $25.00.
    I gave up $25.00.

  • smellincoffee

    I’m showing mercy on American shipping and giving up my career as a U-boat captain for Lent.

  • Hound Doggy

    I’ll try to stop rubbing that dirt off people’s foreheads.