I think Bahá’í will be the dark horse:
Christianity emerged as an early favorite to land [Owen] Pritchard Tuesday, after confirming that it had offered him an eternity-length contract with a signing bonus of everlasting bliss.
Pritchard, however, said he was in no rush to accept just any offer, as he expects to remain at the end of his rope for a long time.
“Obviously, I bring a lot to the table,” Pritchard said. “I’m a broken shell of a man with nowhere else to turn and I will believe just about anything at this point, so if a religion really wants me, they’re going to have to sweeten the pot. For instance, Hinduism is promising me rebirth as a king and the unlocking of all the secrets of the universe. But at this stage, that’s not enough. How about throwing in some final redemption, or a car, or complete and total spiritual transcendence?”
(Thanks to Aaron for the link!)