Afterwards, though, we went to a restaurant that had an amazing buffet, with neverending mimosas and a chocolate fountain with Peeps. It was crazy delicious.

Also, I got mountains of clearance chocolate on Monday. I forgot all about clearance chocolate in October and February, so this haul makes up for it.

At one point, my mother mentioned that Easter was the day when Jesus was rose from the dead. And then she added something like, “or that’s how the myth goes,” as if to show her tolerance of other views. If I cared one way or another, I might have told her it was unnecessary.

I forgot to mention the drinking!

Lots of drinking.

Well, at least that’s what the pictures on my cellphone claim happened.

My mom made Easter baskets for the kids and 3 year old Abby was all excited about coloring eggs, but we did not once mention the dead carpenter on a stick.

So I asked if he knew about the origins of Easter, about how it is a celebration of spring, life, and all things reproductive (hence the eggs) a la traditional Pagan rituals. That even Easter Sunday itself is chosen according to the spring equinox, a full moon, and all that jazz. No, and she’d never heard of that before, either, and sat there rather shocked after I told her as much.

I told her that maybe she needs to watch the History Channel to learn more about her religion’s holidays. I said it in a polite way, of course.