Susie Shellenberger is no Dan Savage.
She writes the advice column for Brio, a Christian girls’ magazine.
Here’s a recent question posed to her:
OK, I have a boyfriend, and I kind of want to have sex with him, but I sort of don’t want to because I know it’s wrong. He told me if I wanted to, he’d do it. But he’ll also wait for me if I don’t want to. I don’t know what to do.
I’m not knocking the girl’s abstinence. That’s her choice. And the guy seems pretty decent. He doesn’t sound like he’s pressuring her. He’ll go along with what she says. Personally, it doesn’t sound like she’s ready for sex. So she shouldn’t do it. But she damned well better know where some protection is. Just in case.
End of story.
What advice would you give the girl?
Think about it…
Then read the first line of what Susie wrote:
Are you kidding me?
Susie’s advice: Dump the evil boy.
Are you kidding me? If you know it’s wrong, why are you even questioning this? God created sex for marriage and marriage only! Sure, you’ll have the desire to be sexually involved; that’s how God wired you. But have you heard of delayed gratification? In other words, WAIT UNTIL MARRIAGE!
You may want a piece of chocolate cake, but if dinner will be served soon, hopefully you’ve learned to delay gratifying that desire. You may want an iPod so bad you can’t stand it. But if you don’t have the money, are you going to steal it? Or will you delay that gratification until you have the money?
If you have any common sense at all, you’ll walk away from this guy. You say he’ll wait. Until when? Until next month when you finally give in? Any guy worth anything at all WON’T be saying, “I’ll have sex if you want to, but if you don’t want to, I’ll wait.” No. A great guy will say, “You’re wanting to have sex? Then you’re not the girl for me! I’m waiting until marriage!”
Good luck with those future relationships, little girl… you shameless, sexually-ambivalent little girl… how dare you let your biological chemistry influence you! You’re a fundie. Don’t you know you’re not allowed to have doubts about anything?
Fundie Watch has a sentence-by-sentence breakdown of the entire response:
Sure, you’ll have the desire to be sexually involved; that’s how God wired you.
Oh, yes, God put that desire in you, but said “No touchy! Naughty naughty!” Weren’t there similar practices used in the Dark Ages as a form of torture? Your God must be a real dick.
But have you heard of delayed gratification? In other words, WAIT UNTIL MARRIAGE!
Yes, we’ve all “heard” of delayed gratification. Just like I’ve “heard” of clamping high voltage electrodes to my nuts, but I don’t see much point in doing that either.
It’s also hypocritical that Susie is so harsh to that girl when she responds so differently to a girl who got knocked up.
And just in case you’re not disturbed enough, check out this question from the same column as she-who-wonders-about-getting-it-on:
I haven’t started shaving my legs yet, and I’m not even sure I want to! God didn’t talk about hair removal in the Bible, so I’m thinking it might be a sin to remove the hair on my legs. Does the Brio staff encourage shaving legs?…
(via Fundie Watch)