To make Christian Science ice cream, mix all the ingredients in a bowl, then pray and pray some more that God will freeze it for you. If he doesn’t, well then it must just be God’s will that you not have ice cream. Sorry.

Rocky Road- cause christians live such a persecuted and tortured life.

Banana Split – because it’s proof of a creator.

Vanilla – anything else would be a sin.

soy dream (any flavor) – because all religions are fake and imaginary

Buddhism – Everything *including* the kitchen sink

Zen Buddhism – There is no ice cream

Islam – I’d tell you, but I’m tired of the death threats

Judaism – Vanilla with cinnamon sugar, so it feels like the ice cream with sand in it their ancestors ate

Shinto – Whatever flavor your ancestors ate

Atheism – No flavor at all, because the ice cream doesn’t exist

Really its just the same vanilla you’ve always had but they try to distract you with the sweet bits. It you look close you will see that under the praline are a bunch of nuts.

Ube ice cream, because it tastes okay if you try it, but from the outside, it’s a freaking bright shade of purple.

Red bean ice cream, because you later realize that the ancient tradition of red beans is based on the idea that red is a lucky color, and that they only taste good because they’re boiled in sugar.