From The Onion-like LarkNews:
… To ease tensions, the church did what many churches and ministries are increasingly doing: started a “do not pray” list… Hundreds of Muslims, atheists, Mormons and even pagans called to have their names added to the list. Now when prayer requests come in to the church, names are checked against the list before they receive prayer.
Sharon Grumman, a self-described “blue-state liberal freakazoid” says she was furious to learn that a co-worker had put her name on Peace Lutheran’s prayer list in Scottsdale, Ariz.
“Who gave them permission to practice their religious voodoo on me and my children?” says the single mother. “I consider it spiritual harassment, even if I do think prayer is bogus.”
Others feel the same way. A devout Hindu shoe store owner in Cincinnati believes the prayers of a local church have hindered him from gathering great wealth.
“If I’m praying to my gods and the Christians are praying to theirs, the prayers cancel out,” he says with evident frustration. He believes the church should reimburse him for lost revenue and has added his name to every do-not-pray list in the country. He believes a group of “zealous Baptist peoples” put his name on the lists in hopes of converting his family.
You know the worst part about people who pray for you?
They always do it while you’re eating dinner…