How to Care for Your Babies

I found these instructions very helpful.

Because one day, I’m going to be a father.

And some of this stuff is simply not common sense.




I have *so* much to learn.

There are several other images and instructions here.

(Thanks to Frank for the link!)

[tags]atheist, atheism, dead babies, baby jokes[/tags]

"Someone really is carrying the whole worship of symbols a bit far. Thank god John ..."

Robert Jeffress: Jesus Didn’t Want Football ..."
"One nation, under Canada..."

My Son and I Don’t Stand ..."
"I'll just reply to the entire chorus here. Spewing bile disqualifies almost every one of ..."

Robert Jeffress: Jesus Didn’t Want Football ..."
"I think it's a horrible shame when people build fake accounts under other people 's ..."

My Night at a Faith Healing ..."

Browse Our Archives

Follow Us!

What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • efrique

    But what’s the correct way to eat one?

  • Brian E

    Sadly, if you read a site like fark long enough, you’ll come across enough stories that demonstrates every one of these no-nos.

  • hoverFrog

    Pah! You don’t lift a baby by the head, you always use a leg. You get a much better swing that way.

  • Jason

    Thank you for making iced coffee come out of my nose. “Drying Baby” is now a meme at my office.

  • Chicken Girl

    I have that book, it’s friggin’ hilarious.

  • Experienced parent

    The very first item on the linked page is “Waking baby.” Who does that?

  • Richard Wade

    That is so disgusting! Why can’t I stop laughing?

  • Paradise Driver

    Mahalo for the link :)

    I am getting more hits per hour than I normally get per day. 😆

  • Evolved Rationalist

    Epic lollers!

  • ubi dubius

    The “do’s” and “don’ts” are switched. As a new father, I quickly learned that if you do something badly enough, you won’t be asked to do it again.

  • Richard Wade

    ubi, that’s hilarious! And a good trick. It’s worked for me on several things. 😉

  • PrimeNumbers

    Being a dad is the best thing ever. I was always wishing baby came with a manual though, an instruction booklet. Now I’m on with my second child, so this is a little late for me, but ever so funny…