Talking Jesus Doll

How can you say no to Talking Jesus?

talkingjesus.JPG

So many questions…

What does “authentic linen robes” mean?

Who will Talking Jesus play with? Does he come with friends?

Can you change Jesus’ clothes?

What are the accessories for this doll?

What happens when the child gets bored with it? Are you allowed to throw Jesus away?

If you were 3, and Talking Jesus spoke the way he does in the video, wouldn’t you have nightmares regardless of what he was saying?

Why is the little boy at the 0:28 mark nodding as if on cue…?

Why do I care if Talking Jesus is “individually boxed”? What’s my alternative? 20 Jesuses (Jesi?) in one case? One black-market Talking Jesus in bubble wrap?

Why is there a 6-Jesus limit on the website? And won’t multiple Jesuses confuse the kiddies?

It’s probably cheaper to purchase yours from Amazon. They have some second-hand dolls.

I don’t think this doll comes even close to being as cool as Deluxe Miracle Jesus, though. That doll comes with Glow in the Dark Hands, five Loaves of Bread, two Fish, and one Water-into-Wine Jug.

(via Boing Boing)


[tags]atheist, atheist, Christian, Jesus kitsch[/tags]

  • anon

    Jesus H Allah get rid of the auto-playing flash!

  • TXatheist

    Hemant, it comes with a prayer booklet as an accessory, what more do you want? :)

  • http://smartbykrae.com K.

    I like how they made him white and buff. I would have had him hitting on my Barbie dolls if such a doll existed in my childhood.

  • http://friendlyatheist.com Hemant Mehta

    I can’t get rid of the autoplayer flash!

    (Help?)

    I removed the video for now.

  • http://gretachristina.typepad.com/ Greta Christina

    My favorite bit:

    “Even the fingers move to hold objects.”

    Boy, talk about a feature that’s ripe for abuse. If I were a kid, I’d have him swapping accessories with G.I. Joe. And maybe Barbie. Pistol in one hand, purse in the other. That’s my Savior.

    And I’m with K on how white and buff he looks. Anyone else think he bears an uncanny resemblance to the Buddy Jesus in Dogma?

    Creepy, creepy, creepy.

  • Ubi Dubium

    I wonder if Barbie clothes would fit on this thing. I bet some little girls would have him dressed in a fabulous Bob Mackie creation in no time!

  • Siamang

    “And won’t multiple Jesuses confuse the kiddies?”

    That line brought up for me a number of great ideas.

    There NEEDS to be multiple Jesi! When I was a kid, every Christmas there was a “Santas around the world” display at my local mall. One stood out “Black Peter” the santa that hands out the coal to bad kids in some Scandinavian country.

    Then I thought about that one comic where Superman died, and then there were all these different new “Supermen”… all of them slightly different.

    http://www.ncs-glc.com/GLC/kesel/supermen.gif

    What about a team of Jesi, all with different powers and looks? Surfer Jesus, Lumberjack Jesus, Black Jesus, Rabbi Jeshua ben Joseph, Native American Mormon Jesus…

  • Andrew

    2 questions:

    Are there disciple dolls?

    And does Judas come with silver and a rope?

  • Tracy

    How long before most kids have him stripped nekked? My kids dolls NEVEr wore clothes! LOL!

  • David D.G.

    Is the doll anatomically correct, so we can verify proper circumsision?

    ;^D

    ~David D.G.

  • Andrew C.

    Meh, needs a Kung-Fu grip.

  • RobL

    If it came with a free set of steak knives, well then, that would really be tempting. I wonder if your kid nails it to a simulated wood grain cross does it moan “Father forgive them for they know not what they do!”.

  • http://www.kellygorski.com Kelly

    Don’t you remember what Jesus said about the little children!?

    On another note, I love this: http://www.youvebeenleftbehind.com/index.html

    Then, I thought… no, I want to provide the service myself for other Christians. After all, when the rapture is over, me and my fellow unbelievers will all be here.

    But then someone beat me to it: http://postrapturepost.com/index.html

    Oh well. I tried to market my abilities. Someone else was just quicker, smarter, and more talented.

  • BoxerShorts

    What about a team of Jesi, all with different powers and looks? Surfer Jesus, Lumberjack Jesus, Black Jesus, Rabbi Jeshua ben Joseph, Native American Mormon Jesus…

    I used to know Surfer Jesus. Seriously. That’s what everybody called him, because he totally looked like a heavily-tattooed bleached-blond Surfer Jesus.

    Cool guy. He moved away from my city a year or two back.

  • BoxerShorts

    The more I think about this, the more I like the idea of a team of modern super-hero Jesuses. Here’s what I’ve got so far:

    An evil mad scientist breaks into the Vatican vaults and steals a Relic of the True Cross. He scrapes off a blood sample and uses it to create several Jesus clones, each of which has only one power of the original Jesus. One can heal the sick, one can raise the dead, one can banish demons, one can turn water into wine, and so on.

    I think I just might run with this.

  • TXatheist

    After reading a few comments I’m thinking of putting jc in a pink skirt just to be a smarta@@ (Don’t get mad…I’m just messin with your graven image)

  • http://religiouscomics.net Jeff

    As some already commented, kids universally leave their dolls without clothes most of the time. Just imaging Jesus dolls and Barbie dolls naked together and on top of each other. Makes you think… maybe Jesus did get some action in his life and left offspring…. (if he even existed)….

    I also wonder what would happen if you formed a panel of 1st century Christians to watch that video advertising the Jesus doll. They would probably throw up in disgust at what 21st century Christianity has become.

  • Rawley

    I see an opportunity for talking Jesus circuit bending!! Woo hoo!!
    There’s so many cooler bible verses he could be saying…

    “Let your women keep silence in the churches, for it is not permitted unto them to speakl but they are commanded to be under obedience!”

    and

    “For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach to offer the bread of his God”

    etc etc

  • Luther Weeks

    Does it talk? Thou shalt not create graven images?

  • http://undergroundunbeliever.blogspot.com Anna Lemma

    Is the Jesus doll anatomically correct?

  • Awesomesauce

    #

    Rawley said,

    June 17, 2008 at 7:25 pm

    I see an opportunity for talking Jesus circuit bending!! Woo hoo!!
    There’s so many cooler bible verses he could be saying…

    “Let your women keep silence in the churches, for it is not permitted unto them to speakl but they are commanded to be under obedience!”

    and

    “For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach to offer the bread of his God”

    etc etc

    … or my personal favorite, “It is better to live on the corner of a roof than to dwell with a quarrelsome wife.”

  • Rawley

    Gotta love them thar proverbs!

  • http://rcd.typepad.com/ Robin Capper

    Thanks for this, was looking for a memorable, funny, farewell gift for my atheist boss ;-)

    Hope to get a record of the presentation, will post here if I do;

    http://rcd.typepad.com/personal/religion/index.html

  • http://rcd.typepad.com/personal/2008/07/the-ideal-present-for-an-atheist.html Robin Capper

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