It’s bad enough that we have to say the Pledge of Allegiance in our public schools… but the Landover Baptist Church doesn’t think that’s enough.
First, we have a new proposed pledge:
Second, we have a checklist for the Christian kiddies:
The following eleven tips are designed to assist Christian children in utilizing the Pledge of Allegiance as a tool for rescuing their hellbound classmates from false religions. If you are a Christian parent of a Christian child who unfortunately attends a non-Christian school, please go over this list carefully with your child. Make sure they memorize it so they won’t interrupt themselves while sharing the message of Christ.
What type of tips are we talking about?
3. After the pledge is over, we suggest thanking one or more of your odd looking classmates for joining you in public prayer. This should raise their curiosity.
4. Begin to ask them what it feels like to be a Christian. They may, at first, resist your entreaties, claiming to know what you are so-called “up to.” Wear them down any way you can. Finally, when they openly admit that they are not Christians, but actually embrace a false religion, like Hindu, Buddhist, or Muslim — this is your opportunity to feign the look of surprise. Try to look as puzzled as you can. Ask them directly why they just falsely stated during the Pledge of Allegiance that they are under your Christian God, but just now admitted that they are not. Tell them you don’t appreciate liars and neither will the principal when he gets your note.