Saying the Pledge of Allegiance is Just Not Enough Anymore

It’s bad enough that we have to say the Pledge of Allegiance in our public schools… but the Landover Baptist Church doesn’t think that’s enough.

First, we have a new proposed pledge:

pledge2.jpg

Second, we have a checklist for the Christian kiddies:

The following eleven tips are designed to assist Christian children in utilizing the Pledge of Allegiance as a tool for rescuing their hellbound classmates from false religions. If you are a Christian parent of a Christian child who unfortunately attends a non-Christian school, please go over this list carefully with your child. Make sure they memorize it so they won’t interrupt themselves while sharing the message of Christ.

What type of tips are we talking about?

3. After the pledge is over, we suggest thanking one or more of your odd looking classmates for joining you in public prayer. This should raise their curiosity.

4. Begin to ask them what it feels like to be a Christian. They may, at first, resist your entreaties, claiming to know what you are so-called “up to.” Wear them down any way you can. Finally, when they openly admit that they are not Christians, but actually embrace a false religion, like Hindu, Buddhist, or Muslim — this is your opportunity to feign the look of surprise. Try to look as puzzled as you can. Ask them directly why they just falsely stated during the Pledge of Allegiance that they are under your Christian God, but just now admitted that they are not. Tell them you don’t appreciate liars and neither will the principal when he gets your note.

I wonder what tips LBC has for these children if and when the Pledge of Allegiance gets struck down as unconstitutional


[tags]atheist, atheism[/tags]

  • alphager

    You *do* know that LBC is a parody-site, right?

  • Robin

    I was going to say . . . I would have believed the crazy pledge re-write, but then I saw the rest of the site.

  • stogoe

    Hemant, you *really* need to implement a ‘tags’ system so that people stop assuming that you think parody you link to is real.

    Of course Landover Baptist is satire. It’s still funny, and worth linking to.

  • http://www.arthwollipot.com/ arthwollipot

    I was just about to make a comment that the LB site is a parody. But I see that’s pretty redundant now…

  • http://del.icio.us/jcchurch James

    I haven’t been to that site in ages. Are they still funny?

  • Eric

    “Your request to URL “http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0803/pledge.html” has been blocked. The URL is listed in categories (Erotic/Sex, Humor/Comic)which is not allowed by the Corporate Internet Access Policy.”

    That made no sense at all to me till I saw the comments here – I wasn’t aware it was a parody. Interesting that it’s blocked… I wonder who made that decision.

  • Polly

    Eric,

    I get:
    Category: Alternative Journals;News and Media from my corporate policy. I’m just glad I can still check in on FA…so far.

  • http://noreckoning.blogspot.com Will Cowan

    Hahaha! Poe’s Law strikes again! LOL!

  • mythprogrammer

    I thought this was real, never heard of LBC :/

  • http://friendlyatheist.com Hemant Mehta

    I think I should not have to point out that LBC is satire :) If someone thinks it is real, it’s all the funnier.

    For what it’s worth, I do know it’s a joke, and I know Pastor Deacon Fred personally. It’s all in good fun.

    To hell with a satire tag!

  • http://disinter.wordpress.com/ disinter

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