Here I’ve been thinking that Fred Phelps‘ Westboro Baptist Church was the epitome of evilness.
I’ve completely ignored the horror that is Eastboro Baptist Church.
It’s headed by the aptly-name Ben Bigots.
He and Fred Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church were both members of the local Boy Scout troop. There they were raped repeatedly by several other scouts and the scout master throughout their ten years of membership. This laid the foundation for what would later become their rampant homophobia.
Ben attended Meridian High with Fred Phelps and graduated at age 16 with much higher academic honors than him, including: American Legion Citizenship Award, track letter, Bausch-Lomb Science Award, Eagle Scout, and Principal Appointment to East Point Military Academy. The summer following graduation, he had a profound religious experience, in which he and Fred Phelps were both urinated on by a gay lion at the Meridian Zoo.
Where will his church picket next?
We will be protesting the march of the Godless penguins. Recently penguins have been using the world’s media outlets in order to spread their filthy lies. Just look at one of the most popular movies at the box office recently, “Happy Feet“. Blasphemous penguin propaganda which the wicked sinners of America devour like the heathens they are. And who could forget 2005’s “March of the Penguins”? The only place penguins are marching is straight to the fires of Hell! Thus we are going to warn them of their sin, so that they might turn away from the Devil and march toward the Hatred of the Lord.
By the way, I also enjoyed clicking on the “Looking for… heaven?” link on the home page 🙂
(via Cynical-C Blog)