We Get It: His Name is God

You know this wouldn’t be a story at all if he had a different first name…

But when you get caught selling cocaine near a church and your name is God, headline writers everywhere are smiling.

Watch how they play with this…:

  • ‘God’ arrested for selling cocaine (link)
  • God accused of selling cocaine near Tampa church (link)
  • Police Arrest ‘God’ On Drug Charges Outside Church (link)
  • God Busted For Selling Coke Near A Church (link)
  • God facing drug charges (link)
  • Police: ‘God’ sold cocaine near church (link)
  • God Sells Cocaine In Tampa (link)

I’m just glad his name wasn’t Atheist.

(Thanks to all of you who sent in the link!)

[tags]atheist, atheism, God Lucky Howard[/tags]

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  • I think it adds just the right extra deliciousness that his middle name is “Lucky.”

  • Ron in Houston

    Well, if you really think about the theological implications – why did God invent cocaine unless he intended for us to enjoy it?

  • llewelly

    Ron in Houston, clearly you have not been listening to the right preachers.
    Be it Sex, Drugs, or Rock ‘N’ Roll, everything that feels good is a Lure of Satan; God created it in order to trick us into marching straight to hell.

  • Well, technically, “cocaine” refers to the white, crystalline, man-made substance refined from the coca plant, so it’s not really naturally occurring at all, but I see where you were aiming. =)

  • Oh come now! I think you’re all being far too skeptical here.

    Maybe he’s the Real Thing. I mean, when John DeLorean’s empire began to crumble, what did he do to try to secure financing, eh?

    Totally makes sense to me.

    Though I do rather wonder what happened to all those donations he gets from Ernest Angely and all those guys …

  • If he is then it would seem the Mormans got it right, not us Christians. In terms of him having a body I mean, and not being trinitarian.

  • Christophe Thill

    That guy is an imposter. God sells opium to the masses, not cocaine.

  • David

    Why the quotes around his name? Is that his legal name, or an alias? If it’s his legal name, the quotes are implying the editors’ opinion that somehow he’s still not entitled to it….

    I’d be pretty damn pissed if any headline about me said something like,

    President Obama Awards ‘David’ Medal of Freedom for Work in Support of Reason

    although I’d probably be in a pretty good mood that day, so OK.