Guess Who’s Picketing George Carlin’s Funeral?

June 25, 2008 By Guest Contributor 67 Comments

Shocker (PDF).

Try reading the press release without laughing. You know Carlin would have loved it :)

Apparently, Keith Olbermann and Jerry Seinfeld are going to join him in Hell.


[tags]atheist, atheism, George Carlin, Westboro Baptist Church[/tags]

Filed Under: General 67 Comments
  • Siamang

    The only hell that exists is in people’s frenzied fear-controlled imaginations.

    With that in mind, I submit this to you: George Carlin saved more people from hell than Christianity ever did.

  • Rob

    We’re gonna need some paintball guns… and lots of ammo.

    Edit: Or how about our own people with signs that say “God Hates Protesters”?

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03859405216390259275 Rose

    First off, its so sad. The Great George Carlin was one of the most influential (other than Lenny Bruce) comedians of our time. I even took an English course in college called “The Rhetoric of Comedy” and he was one of the comedians we studied. The way he used and played with language is something I can certainly relate to.

    Secondly, what part of we don’t believe in (your) hell, don’t they understand? ;)

  • http://www.bernerbits.com Derek

    I didn’t laugh, but only because it strikes quite close to home, given my upbringing…

  • Price

    I can’t access this site from my work desk because the I.T. Department has it blocked for the posted reason of “Hate Speech”. Yet, I can access Dr. James Dobson’s “Focus on The Family”. I work for the Government of the County of Montgomery, in the state of Alabama. That’s Right… the people you see as punchlines on “Family Guy”, are some my co-workers.

  • TheOtherOne

    Edit: Or how about our own people with signs that say “God Hates Protesters”?

    How about “God hates haters”? “God hates narrow-minded bigots”? “My god can beat up your God”?

  • Andrew

    From the PDF:

    “the obscene potty-mouth skeptic, agnostic, and profane atheist”

    You can be both? Interesting!

    “now he must deal with God- face to face -for ever”

    Umm, doesn’t hell generally involve the absence of God?

  • Brent

    George Carlin will be dealing with God face to face for eternity? I thought Hell was supposed to be eternal separation from him? Then again…

  • Joseph

    I sincerely hope I’ll have done such things in my life to have those Westboro idiots picketing my funeral. It just marks how influential and such great guy George Carlin was.

  • Julie Marie

    oh my! in my evangelical days, I quit listening to Dobson b/c he seemed, more often than not, to be ranting about something and that struck me as distinctly non-peaceful. But I’ve never seen anything quite this vitriolic. These people actually seem happy at the picture they paint!

    And Seinfeld too? I just saw him at a benefit, and he was so funny I laughed so hard it hurt. He wasn’t foul at all.

  • Wes

    “the obscene potty-mouth skeptic, agnostic, and profane atheist”

    You can be both? Interesting!

    If you define atheism broadly as “Having no belief in god(s)”, then an agnostic would also be an atheist (sometimes, agnosticism is called “weak atheism” to emphasize the relationship). The other common, narrow definition of atheism, “Believing god(s) do(es) not exist”, which would exclude agnosticism, would then be called “strong atheism” under the broad definition.

    So, anyways, you can actually be both, depending on whether you use a broad or a narrow definition of atheism. I typically think of atheism in terms of the broad definition, myself, and consider agnosticism to be a form of atheism.

  • http://alcaritown.myminicity.com/ Sanity

    I read on another, slightly less subtle blog, that the ultimate defence against the picketers was a massive gay/lesbian “hand holding” session (replace “hand holding” with whatever you consider appropriate).

    heterosexuals might want large signs saying things like “Your god is a loser”, or wearing a bulls-eye t-shirt and a sign saying “Take your best shot God”.

    Counter-picketing is so much fun.

  • http://religiouscomics.net Jeff

    How about this for a counter-picketing sign:

    “My absence of an imaginary God is bigger than your imagined all hating God”.

  • Chris

    How the fuck is Jerry Seinfeld a filth monger? He doesn’t even curse in his act.

  • Darryl

    These picketers only help discredit their brand of religion. It’s a good thing.

  • http://themousesnest.blogspot.com Mouse

    The best response I ever saw to the Phelps gang was when he picketed a gay bookstore on the night of a reading and a bunch of people went out, stood next to his people, and sang hymns.

  • http://aardvarkzone.com/holtblog/ Foster Foskin

    What a Xtian attitude the Westboro morons have. So refreshing to see someone with the…ahem…courage of their convictions. Isn’t it time they were convicted again and ALL their assets stripped away?

  • http://www.cognitivedissident.org/ cognitive dissident

    Re: Mouse’s “best response:”

    Some participants in the Millennium March on Washington (LGBT) sang “Jesus Loves Me” when we approached the Phelps group…I wanted to join in, but I didn’t know the words!

    I wish the Phelps clan would just crawl back under whatever pew they came from, and stop spreading their ignorance and hatred. If they hadn’t waited until Carlin died to call him names, he would have given them a verbal smackdown from which they’d never recover!

    How sad that Carlin’s friends and family will now have their ceremony tainted by WBC’s presence.

  • http://livinginreply.blogpspot.com josh lanning

    As a christian i will say, these people are acting ignorantly. It’s really sad. We all know how much good is being done for this world by caring picket signs and celebrating the death of a human…this church is going to change the world…………..

    I can understand why a person couldn’t believe in their “god”

  • Katie

    One day Mr Phelps will no longer be among the living (not a threat, but a statement of fact). I hope on the day he is laid to rest there will be nothing but a sea of rainbow surrounding the precession spreading the word of peace and love.

  • Finn

    It’s even funnier for me because I was totally convinced while I was reading it that it was courtesy of Landover Baptist. It wasn’t until I was done and went to close it that I noticed the URL. Ahahaha. I’m sure he’d be even more pleased he got the attention of the real nutters.

  • Eric TF Bat

    Umm, doesn’t hell generally involve the absence of God?

    The point to note is that the “God” of the Westboro people is petty, vindictive, hateful and nasty. He lies all the time, having either (a) lied about creating the world in seven days, or (b) planted false evidence for evolution everywhere after He did so. He regularly smites a small subset of minor sinners (gays with AIDS, perverts in New Orleans, atheists in the World Trade Center) while ignoring and encouraging larger, more effective villains (anyone who continues to kill, torture and destroy under the cover of Christianity). He is Lord, certainly: the Lord of Lies.

    Yep, the Westboro people, and most other evangelical and fundamentalist Christians of a similar belief, are Satanists. They just don’t know it.

    Cool, eh?

  • EKM

    How do the members of the Westboro Baptist Church make money? Do they have day jobs?

  • Gerard

    I’d rather spend my time in hell with Carlin then in heaven with mr. Phelps.
    If Phelps is there, heaven will become an eternal torment. But with Carlin in hell, i’d be laughing all the way till the end of times.
    Just imagine the taste of a cold beer if you literally waited an eternity.

  • Guy

    Next in the news: shock and revulsion at muslim extremists half way around the world.

    Sigh.

  • Mike Partridge

    I just read the press release. “Filth-mongerer Jerry Seinfeld”? What the hell?

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  • Tracy

    This would’ve been awesome new material for George’s next show! I think he’d get a big kick out them protesting his funeral.

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  • http://heathendad.blogspot.com/ HappyNat

    How the fuck is Jerry Seinfeld a filth monger? He doesn’t even curse in his act.

    It’s because of that half-assed mullet he had during his show. God Hates Mullets.

  • Johnny Moot

    Those Baptists are so charitable to those less fortunate (unenlightened). Dumb Jesus-Fuckers!

  • http://theflowfieldunity.com Adam_Y

    Picketing a funeral, nice. ‘Cause that shows respect for life in all its forms and glory.

    So they say the Devil has the best music, turns out his comedy club isn’t too shabby either.

  • Hans Giger

    George was simply the greatest. He will be in heaven long before the zionisr Christians. Vale to a graeat man…

  • http://jazzsick.wordpress.com/ Dan

    Didn’t they lose a huge multi-million dollar law suit against a military family that they picketed? Geez… too bad some sort of injunction isn’t keeping them from picketing until they pay up.

    ~Dan
    http://jazzsick.wordpress.com/

  • http://myspace.com/leecookebarbo Lee

    … I’m lovin’ it – just as I’m sure George would. It would actually be an insult if the Phelps group didn’t picket.

  • Jon

    To screw up an apropos Carlin quote… “God will condemn you to hell for all eternity… but he loves you. He loves you, and he needs money!”

  • Fred

    Their zip code is 66604 … LOL

  • angela

    This is hillareously sad! I miss George – he would’ve loved this shit – what great material!!

    George Carlin has been the voice in my head for many years, while standing in line at the movies, making my kids keep a straight face while asking for “3 senoir citizen tickets for Batman”

    I will no longer say Thank God, from now on it will be Thank GEORGE, and GEORGE BLESS YOU, I will worship his words like a bible!!!!!!!!!!! F those idiots!! I’ve got 7 words for them!

  • Hal in Howell MI (not far from Hell, MI)

    As sage Mark Twain said, “Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company”.
    I, for one, would enjoy the company.

  • kevin

    can somebody post the text of the pdf in a comment on this post? I don’t want to visit WBC’s website at work.

  • wintremute

    I think Carlin would love this.

  • Allytude

    I hope I get important enough to get the WBC to picket my funeral….
    I think it is like a rite of passage. Anyone who gets their funeral picketed by these loons is a good guy.

  • http://themousesnest.blogspot.com Mouse

    Wouldn’t it be great if this could be turned into an opportunity to raise money for some group which Carlin either supported or would have supported, especially if it were a group that would be something Phelps would protest–gay groups are the easiest choice, but any atheist organization would work too.

    Get people to pledge a certain amount per protester or something like that.

  • Molly

    While I agree, that George would think this is a hoot, the emotions I’ve been going through since he died, just makes me all the more angry at these self important pricks. I for one, call for the revoking of the tax exempt status of their “church” . I hope everyone of these jerk offs falls off a fucking cliff. Go with God Douche-bags!

  • http://infidelicacy.blogspot.com/ Steve

    Wow. They seem so sure of themselves.

    Aparently, god also hates shrimp.

  • sam

    The WBC were protesting a church service of a few kids and one of their parents who were killed by a drunk driver down the street from me.

  • Finn

    Steve,

    Old meme, but God also hates figs.

  • http://www.mikesweeklyskepticrant.blogspot.com BigHeathenMike

    We need seven gay dudes who can show up in loincloths with Carlin’s seven words you “can’t say” written on their chests to dance to techno amongst the Phelps clan. That would crack me up for days.

  • angela

    that is so funny!! George bless You! George Bless You! George Bless YOU!!

  • D

    I can’t find myself feeling sad about this WBC press release. I sat here laughing my ass off. At first, I thought it was a JOKE… maybe something that his family or friends wrote up as part of carrying out George’s will or something.

    Then I googled the WBC and found out that these idiots are actually a real church. That made it even funnier. Dumbshits.

    George would have loved this. He’ll be laughing his ass off whereever he is (frisbee on top of a roof, probably).

  • marie

    this is the most disgusting thing i have ever heard. who are these people damning anybody to hell. george carlin was an on the money comedian he talked about stuff many people agreed with. he was a comic genius..it is his choice to be an athiest.remember freedom of religion?? it would be a terrible thing to have people protest this mans funeral. RIP George we will miss you

  • Max

    I love you, I love all of you. lol, this shit just made my night, I am pissed at these altar-boy fucking douche-bags for what they have said, but it’s just too funny. He’s down there now….screaming up at us. And by down there, I mean downstairs in the morgue/funeral home, and what he is screaming is something along the lines of “May Joe Pesci straighten these superstitious fucks out. It’s simple what you can accomplish with a simple baseball bat.”
    Carlin’s death nearly drove me to tears…and so did this haha

  • Anonymous Coward

    George Carlin has always been an idol of mine. Scratch that, THE idol of mine. I grew up listening to his tapes and his loss has been devastating to me. At least he stayed sharp right until the end rather than becoming a senile old fart. I’m slightly offended by this, but me and the millions like me merely existing is more than slightly offensive to them, so it all levels out. The man would have loved this, I say. He made his career out of lambasting idiots like this and calling them out on their bullshit, and it is only fitting that we and those attending the funeral continue in this great tradition.

  • http://jingreed.typepad.com Jing-reed

    Personally I applaud Fred Phelps every move and demonstration.

    He and his small band of fuckwits just continually show the world, and reinforce on a near daily basis, just how fucked up religion, and especially the fanatical evangelical sort, really is.

  • Ross

    Listen, Fred Phelps, and the rest of those ignorant cock suckers need to get a fucking life. However I did learn something from Phelps. . . god has a lot of hate built up inside of him, and this has led to some improperly channeled anger. You all saw the bullshit signs that Phelps was promoting; “thank god for 9/11″ “thank god for dead soldiers” ect. . . But at least I now know who is on gods shit list.

    God hates fags, god hates A-rabs. God hates spics, god hates chicks. God hates chinks, dinks, nogs, and frogs. God hates squaws, honky’s, and kike’s. God hates midgets riding on little bikes. God hates gringo’s guinea’s, and gooks. But he doesn’t seem to mind some special interest groups.

    I just want to know one thing; where does Phelps, (this self proclaimed muscle turd) get off guaranteeing that Mr. Carlin is in hell?! Where the fuck did Phelps get the arrogant notion that he has an intimate knowledge of who’s going to heaven or hell? Was he a summer temp at St. Peters gate?! “FUCK EM”!!!!

    For anybody who wants to picket the protesters picketing George Carlin’s life. . . the signs you should be holding are signs that will piss all those hyper-religious ass fucks off. Signs like: “There is no god”, or “We are free thinkers who will not fall weary to any of your scare tactics; which in retrospect means that you all have successfully turned your god into a terrorist”. Because listen folks, anybody who uses fear to control people is exercising terroristic ideals.

    George Carlin will always be remembered. For anybody who is still pissed off at that chicken shit, pussy faced, coward who waited until after G.C. was dead, to come out spewing diarrhea out of his mouth onto a fleshy patch where some sort of genitalia should be, and where his balls should have dropped. This recording helped me out a bit:
    Play Phelps’ recording before listening to what I like to think of as Carlin’s answer from beyond the grave. Because it wasn’t until after he died that I stumbled upon this.

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=it9kpZHXhxI

    CARLIN ROCKS!!!

  • Ross

    I just wanted to add one more thing, I hope that when Fred Phelps dies nothing happens! Not only that but I want him to have a quick out of body experience just so he could have a couple of seconds to realize that his sorry G-rated life here on earth sucked, and was worth nothing. Then he can evaporate or what ever the fuck happens.

  • Chop Chop

    Phelps vitriolic hatred nullifies anything else he says before or after that, as far as I’m concerned. To “preach” claiming to be a Christian; and then promote HATE – whatever you say after that it totally invalidated.

    He claims to be a “Christian Pastor” however he has NOTHING to do with Christ. Whether you believe in Jesus or not, nowhere in Bible text is Christ advocating HATRED toward others. This hate-monger and his wacko followers’ showing up at funeral demonstrations might get press, but it is merely callous theater.

    Back in ’96 in Nashville, on the day of the funeral for Al Gore Sr., (vice pres Al Gore jr.s father) Phelps showed up with a few followers with large signs that said “GOD HATES FAGS Romans 9:13″ because, according to Phelps, his son “sold his soul to the fag agenda.” His followers join up they enjoy telling people to “go to hell.” Period. Chop Chop.

  • Angie

    wa-hooooooo!!!!!!!!!

    This is addressed to the poster that said that they have recently been saved!! Felt great in the last week or so???? Hey!! It was GEORGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank George!!!!!! George BLESS YOU ALL!!!!

  • Ross

    Good point Chop Chop. . .
    Everything that I’ve read here has been great, but. . . I think everybody would agree with me in saying that “I would have loved to have seen George rip into Phelps” on a more personal level.

    I don’t know it still feels like an old friend has just gone away. It still feels like he was just here a second ago.

  • Angie

    Poster ROSS

    It is a bummer he can’t make fun of Plelps.. but we ALL can. THANK GEORGE for that!!

    George bless you – I miss him too ;(

  • Ross

    Thanks Angie, you’re right. . . George bless you too.
    A few days ago someone said to me “did you hear George Carlin kicked the bucket” to which I replied “where”? Now I don’t remember if I heard G.C. say that, or if I came up with that. Regardless, it was a Carlinism, and that along with the ideals to question authority, to take notice of what’s really going on, and to keep in our minds that mostly everybody is full of shit. That is what George left us.

    But stilI, we all know George would have caught everything that we saw wrong with Phelps’ point of view, and much more. How about the hypocrisy of George making money off the lord.

    It’s kind of funny though, I continually catch myself wanting to say all of the nice things that people say when someone dies. . . but George made fun of all that, and didn’t believe in any of that. So I’m a little torn.

    Anyone know when the funeral is or was? I know that there will be a public memorial service, but where and when I don’t know. I’d assume New York.

  • Angie

    FOR ROSS

    I feel your saddness… his funeral was last friday in santa monica, private only a filtered list from Carlin’s wife. It was at Gates, Kingsley & Gates Moeller Murphy Funeral home. Guess they wanted to keep the funeral hush, hush, because of all the religous freaks.

    I still hear him in my head too – look what he has done for so many,….

    I have a feeling something really good will come out of this – because GEORGE WAS GOOD. George is my God now. George Bless you Ross! Thank George it was a beautiful day! email me anytime angela_s_richardson@yahoo.com

  • Angie

    Ross email me

  • Molly

    If you go to Carlin’s site, there is an affidavit for want of a better term, or a part of his will. He requested no actual service, just a gathering of his family and friends at his house. He requested that he be cremated, and that his ashes to be spread by his wife and daughter in a place of their choice. Only vague references to spirituality would be allowed :D

  • BigSoph

    It has been a while since George ‘passed on’, i.e. died (he would have preferred died)

    If there was a god, and there was a heaven and George did not get to enter because narrow minded bigots said he was mean, I would stand outside the gates of heaven and build catapults and besiege it, raze it, burn what I razed, gift them my catapult, burn that and then walk up the the throne of heaven itself and say “fuck you and your intolerant followers”
    And I would have the army to defeat him too. I would have hundreds of Greek and Roman tacticians, Mongols and Vikings.

  • Angie

    That was brilliant Big Soph!

    I sure miss George, always wandering what he’d say on this and that… Also, this time of year (exactly) he came to the Cape Cod melody tent, I never missed his shows. :(