What Jesus Could Learn From Barack

Greg Gutfeld explains a variety of things Barack Obama can teach Jesus Christ:

Jesus also took a lot of grief for hanging with the wrong crowd — paupers, thieves — even a “scorned” woman. Well, all one needs to do is look at Obama, and marvel at the way he stuck by a life partner with controversial beliefs — as well as his unusual friend in the Weather Underground. I think Jesus could learn a thing or two about loyalty, here. And yet, Obama also knew exactly when it was time to move on from a destructive relationship, as he did with Reverend Wright. If only Jesus had seen that coming with Judas.

He also calls Jesus a flip-flopper for preaching forgiveness while at the same time talking about Hell for all those “who do wrong against God.”

Funny piece :)

(via 23/6)

  • http://metroblog.blogspot.com Metro

    “A partner with controversial beliefs,” eh?

    Is that code for what I think it’s code for?

  • http://feveredintellect.blogspot.com Viggo the Carpathian

    Wow, I thought people were exaggerating when they said there were those who thought Obama was the savior…

  • Miko

    He also calls Jesus a flip-flopper for preaching forgiveness while at the same time talking about Hell for all those “who do wrong against God.”

    I was rereading some of the NT recently and coming to the same conclusion. The NT really does seems to be a series of stories in which people point out his inconsistencies by asking him questions to which he has inconsistent answers, followed by him giving flippant and vague answers to doge the issue (e.g., render unto Caesar, cast the first stone, etc.). Not very awe inspiring, to be honest.

  • Darryl

    Miko, I disagree. Jesus, as he is presented in the NT, has a consistency to him, understood in the religious/cultural context of his time. I always enjoy those episodes when the religious hypocrites try to trap him in a contradiction or blasphemy and Jesus stumps them.

    Hemant, why are you passing along the unfunny, propagandized sarcasm of Fox’s Gutfeld?

  • Jim

    Think about it. Conservatives regularly refer to Obama as “Obamessiah”. It has to do with all the fawning over him in the press and elsewhere.

    Hemant is correct…it is a funny piece and if we can’t laugh at or make jokes about politicians, even ones we like, what does that say about us?

  • DSimon

    I think Jesus was a flip-flopper because he wore sandals.

  • Polly

    JC said that not one tittle or stroke of the law would pass away.

    Then, he said it was OK to work on the Sabbath ’cause the Sabbath was made for man and not man for the Sabbath.

    Then he said everything’s kosher, because it all just passes through the digestive tract and exits the body, unlike evil thoughts and words which come from the heart.

    Adulterers actually don’t have to be stoned to remove the sin from among the community, in spite of the OT commandment.

    And to Hell with honoring your your mother and father, just follow JC and HATE them.

    You should never worship any god but Jehova. But, according to JC, it’s OK to worship JC, too, even though he’s someone else entirely and has a different name.

    FLIP
    FLOP

  • Darryl

    Polly, let’s quote fairly:

    Matthew 5:18

    . . . because I tell you with certainty that until heaven and earth disappear, not one letter or one stroke of a letter will disappear from the Law until everything has been accomplished.

    The Christians have argued (following Jesus, and as amplified by Paul) that Jesus in his life and work was the fulfillment of the Law, and that he made a new covenant with the people of God, through faith in him, that supercedes the old.
    Matthew 5:17

    Do not think that I came to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I did not come to abolish but to fulfill.

  • The Unbrainwashed

    A partner with controversial beliefs

    If by controversial beliefs, one means being anti-American, a race-monger, bitter, and an unabashed racist, well then I agree.

  • Darryl

    Dude, it’s time to drop the Un-

  • The Unbrainwashed

    @ Darryl:

    Why? Because I see Michelle Obama for what she really is: someone who harbors a deep seated resentment towards “white America”. Someone who has attended arguably the two finest academic institutions in this country (Princeton and Harvard), yet still believes that she has been denied success (no quote but she’s stated that “I’ve been told ‘no’ at every point in my life”). Someone who attends a church where the preacher fires off anti-American, not simply dissenting, sentiments and receives cheers rather than horror. Someone whose entire senior thesis at Princeton was a bunch of whining about how white students passed her and didn’t say hello because clearly they’re racist and how white America will never ever accept her because she’s a black woman (in the meantime forgetting that it’s a fucking research project and not a memoir of her racial paranoia.) Someone who as a hospital administrator nixed an important HPV study because she thought it resembled the fucking Tuskegee experiment (how’s that for paranoia)! Someone who said not once but twice in written speeches that she’s never been proud of this country and only afterwards when she wasn’t in front of a fawning crowd clarified the statement with some PC garbage. I could continue but I think I’ve made my point.

    If one of these things had come up, I’d maybe forgive her. But with all them simultaneously, we’re getting a picture of a very bitter and hate filled woman.
    Combine her with her socialist husband whose memoirs are filled with similiar statements about race, including ruminations about “typical” white people like his grandmother who raised him while his parents were absent and I’m not too excited.

    Am I brainwashed? Really? Are you an Obamabot perhaps? Or is it just that every person with somewhat conservative views is clearly deluded? Conservatism is sometimes (I admit not usually) the result of conscientious intellectual thought. Maybe you should respect that before blanketing every conservative as a blank faced drone of Fox News.

  • Darryl

    You’ve got a thin skin Un- I said nothing about Conservatism or your “blank-faced drone of Fox news.” You have a charicature of the Obamas that reeks of right-wing propaganda. If you’re a conservative that’s fine, just so we know you’re spouting opinion and not fact.

  • The Unbrainwashed

    just so we know you’re spouting opinion and not fact.

    So quoting someone’s own speeches, written work, memoirs, etc… equates to “opinion.” Umm better redo every research paper I’ve ever written.

    The Obamas, Michelle presently and Barack very candidly in his books, have made statements that are not befitting of even members of an integrated and unified society let alone the White House. Whether or not you accept that they’ve made these statements is your business, but I wish more people would take heed of their sometimes very candid rhetoric.

  • Polly

    @Darryl,
    “because I tell you with certainty that until heaven and earth disappear, not one letter or one stroke of a letter will disappear from the Law until everything has been accomplished.”

    See, that’s the problem right there. Two different time horizons are given:

    1) until heaven and Earth disappear

    and/or,

    2)until everything has been accomplished. Clearly everything hasn’t been accomplished judging by how many xians claim to be works-in-progress.
    To me, it looks like he’s trying to have it both ways: he wants to follow the old, but introduce a new (and arguably better) system.
    All the talk about “covenants” is just whitewash for a glaring contradiction between the OT god and Jesus.

  • Darryl

    Polly, two different time horizons are not given. Jesus is using a rabbinical formulation to emphasize the certainty of his claim. I don’t believe Christian theology anymore, but that’s no reason for me to misrepresent what it teaches. As an atheist who wants to explain the difference between Judaism and what Jesus was doing, your “whitewash” theory might hold up in an argument. But, I was not correcting your atheist view of the contradictions, just asking for a fair representation of the doctrine.

  • Darryl

    The Obamas, Michelle presently and Barack very candidly in his books, have made statements that are not befitting of even members of an integrated and unified society let alone the White House.

    Where is this “integrated and unified society” of which you speak? Sounds nice; I’d like to visit. Oh, wait–you don’t mean North Korea do you? Or, maybe Iran, where they don’t have homosexuals?

  • The Unbrainwashed

    Where is this “integrated and unified society” of which you speak?

    Well I was referring to an America where the race card isn’t played every 5 minutes by blacks and the potential first lady isn’t complaining that her race has held her back despite attending the best high school in Chicago, Princeton, and Harvard and now has her on the cusp of the White House. I’m speaking of an America that Barry Obama is supposed to lead us to, where the races aren’t arguing over illegal processes like affirmative action and “diversity” programs, but instead living together. Maybe when privileged, middle class blacks sons and daughters like Michelle Obama wake the hell up we’ll have a country that can be unified racially.

  • Darryl

    Dude, your statement ought to make it clear why we need the Obamas in the White House. You’ve got some big ones to place all the blame for racial disunity on the shoulders of African Americans. The only thing that would surprise me more is if you told me that you were black. I doubt that’s the case though since only few could have such self-loathing.

  • Finn

    It’s always jarring to be reminded that self-proclaimed freethinkers can be just as bigoted as the general population.

    If you think this nation is truly colourblind, maybe you’re the one with the blinders on. Watch some campaign coverage – on any station – and see how many red-faced old white guys blow their tops insisting that race totally isn’t an issue. (Even while we have “journalists” and “commentators” speculating that the fist-pound is some sort of terrorist black panther gesture.) Hell, come down south and chat with some locals and you’ll see how “colourblind” this country really is.

  • http://metroblog.blogspot.com Metro

    @Unbrainwashed

    Someone who has attended arguably the two finest academic institutions in this country (Princeton and Harvard), yet still believes that she has been denied success (no quote but she’s stated that “I’ve been told ‘no’ at every point in my life”).

    I think you’d best produce a quote if you’re going to spread that around, don’t you agree?

    Someone who attends a church where the preacher fires off anti-American, not simply dissenting, sentiments and receives cheers rather than horror.

    Clarify, please. Dissent is very American, it seems to me. Where do you draw the line?

    Someone whose entire senior thesis at Princeton was a bunch of whining about how white students passed her and didn’t say hello because clearly they’re racist and how white America will never ever accept her because she’s a black woman (in the meantime forgetting that it’s a fucking research project and not a memoir of her racial paranoia.)

    Your mask is slipping. Maybe she actually did some, well, research? Have you read this thesis yourself? Citations would help, in context, given your assertions.

    If one of these things had come up, I’d maybe forgive her.

    Big of you to forgive someone you characterized as a racist misanthropic bitch.

    Combine her with her socialist husband …

    I guess he could be a socialist, if you travel to the right of say, Rush Limbaugh.

    … whose memoirs are filled with similiar statements about race, including ruminations about “typical” white people like his grandmother who raised him while his parents were absent and I’m not too excited.

    You seem plenty excited to me. Have you actually read “The Audacity of Hope” or are you just quoting the Politco’s talking points?

    Or is it just that every person with somewhat conservative views is clearly deluded?

    Nice strawman. Perhaps it’s just the ones concern-trolling using Limbaugh bullshit as valid argumentation who are deluded?

    Conservatism is sometimes (I admit not usually) the result of conscientious intellectual thought.

    I think for “sometimes” you mean “rarely”. At least when it comes to swallowing every scrap you’re fed from the wingnut wurlitzer about the wife of a guy who’s running for president.

    Maybe you should respect that before blanketing every conservative as a blank faced drone of Fox News.

    We never thought that of you, until you posted your comments. I still don’t. FOX often couches its crazy in reasonableness.


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