Landover Baptist Church is getting many, many letters from young Christians inquiring about presidential candidate Barack Obama:
“Is Obama really gonna make momma get an abortion? I wanted a little brother and she promised to make one for me!” — Mark Ingram, Age 5, Home Schooled
“Does every Christian family move to Canada if Obama is elected, or is it just everyone on my Daddy’s side?” — Henrietta Rutherford, Age 11, Lynchburg Christian Academy
“Are all the people who don’t vote for John McCain really going to burn in hell and be sodim’isized by giant demons forever and ever? Grandma says it is absolutely true! She says that Pastor Lon Solomon, who is a messianical Jewish is just afraid to say it out loud because he’d lose his gold tithers. Grandma is the best Christian I ever knew!” — Scott Prendergast Jr., Age 11, McLean Bible School, McLean Virginia
And those are just the non-offensive ones.
Here’s Pastor Deacon Fred discussing the kiddies:
“It’s insightful to read how the little ears of Jesus interpret what they hear through Satanic secular media. It gives me great hope in our future! I thought it would be an absolute joy to print some of their questions here on our web site. I’ll bet most of our readers have children asking the same questions! If your kids are asking questions like the ones you read below, it is a sure sign that you are raising your child in accordance with True Christian™ Biblical standards! Praise Jesus!”